rantings of a suburban housewife part 2: oh donnie boy, you sexist pig.

Ahh yes, getting political again and I don’t care. If you care, don’t read this post. Seriously. Because if you give me crap, this suburban housewife might verbally wield one of her rolling pins, while wearing an apron no less.

Recently I wrote a post about Trump’s mischaracterization of surburban and rural women. Well with apologies to Britney Spears, oops he did it again.

Well Oh Donnie Boy, the tweets, the tweets are calling. From glen to glen, and down the mountain side. The summer’s gone, and all the roses falling, It’s you, it’s you must go and I must bide.

I am back. And you Donnie Boy are indeed a national treasure. As well as being the poster child for a deranged, malignant narcissist. And yes I am saying that about a sitting U.S. President. Last time I checked they hadn’t revoked the United States Constitution. (Although I am sure someone is working on it?)

Allow me to re-introduce myself: part of who I am is indeed a suburban housewife. And I am offended that apparently we are all supposed to be pregnant barefoot in the kitchen, or at least chained to something in the kitchen. And drooling versus thinking.

If you love this President, there is no way on God’s green earth that you can talk your way around any of his tweets. They are consistently offensive to every woman everywhere.

And I say that as someone who has never exactly been a women’s libber but I’m starting to understand why you get to be that way as a woman more and more every damn day.

Gloria Steinem , I get it. Further and to the point, Susan B. Anthony doesn’t need to be pardoned by this guy and her ghost rolling over in her grave wouldn’t vote for him anyway.

So this is the guy who went from grabbing women by the pussy (not my words) to telling us suburban ladies how we are supposed to think? This is the guy putting up commercials aimed at little old ladies showing little old ladies in terror in their homes? This is also the guy saying the DNC removed “God” from the pledge of allegiance?

Umm hello? This is beyond ridiculous. This is beyond offensive. Lies and distortions and the rantings of a Twitterholic much? And people still support him. And I marvel at that.

So back to “suburban housewives”. Can we say sexist pig boys and girls? You talking about us? We are trying to do the man a favor. We are voting for Joe Biden so he has even more time to rant like a sexist pig on Twitter. (Picture me in an apron stirring a pot on the stove while saying this.)

We are all just here knitting socks, after all. My gosh, Mr. President you know we haven’t even one collective brain in our heads. I mean why we hadn’t even noticed you wanted to switch Puerto Rico for Greenland did we? Or that you are eviscerating the United States Postal Service so you can steal the election did we? Gosh honey, let us smooth our carefully coiffed hair we just sprayed with Aqua Net and give us a second to refresh our lipstick and don a fresh apron.

I’m sorry, am I being sarcastic? I am so sorry. I am after all, just a suburban housewife. I know not what I say. I do not have a brain. I am incapable of independent thoughts. I am but a mere mortal, female, and bobblehead. But before I turn Stepford, here are some runaway thoughts:

I don’t know when we moved into a dictatorship or oligarchy or something pretty damn close, but here we are people. More and more reminders every damn day of why this person doesn’t actually represent the American people.

Look Mr. President here is a housewife bobblehead!

This man doesn’t respect women or men. This man does not represent America. This man does not care about America. The only thing this man cares about is his own toxic malignant narcissistic self and what he can get out of all of us. As in how much money can he make of of us before he walks or gets shoved away?

This country is teetering on total disaster. And you can lay it at his feet. These toxic politics of running a country on Twitter has created a divisive, caustic atmosphere in which we all must try to just exist. That’s not fair to any of us, no matter what your political persuasion.

We are suffering from a global pandemic which Washington DC really still isn’t dealing with because telling the truth might interfere with someone’s re-election campaign, right? COVID-19 really isn’t real is it? It’s just something made up by politicians opposing the current administration, have I got that supposition down correctly? Essentially people are dying but as long as this guy gets re-elected that’s all that matters right?

WRONG. And I’m speaking to all the Republicans out there who secretly within the four walls of their own home know this isn’t a good person to have as a Republican president yet because they think they will turn to pillars of salt if they vote for a Democrat they will be among the Sheeple in November. 

And let’s talk about other things in this country. How about the great racial divide? What has this administration done to combat racism? NOTHING. They have made it worse. Until 2020 I didn’t think it was possible to make it worse. Yet here we are and people are dying because of that as well. 

People are rioting in the streets yet Marie Antoinette with a comb over would just let them eat cake (or more appropriately in this case, McDonald’s.) I would ask if he was a student of history but I think he was the one that mixed up World War I and World War II and the last global pandemic, correct? If this guy was a student of history he would understand how and why revolutions happen, right?

Another cute suburban housewife bobblehead!

And I’ll remind you (again) I’m not a screaming liberal. I am a suburban housewife and former life-long Republican. I am also a woman with a brain who definitely resents the crap out of men who are sexist pigs and talk down to us. Or anyone.

And as a suburban housewife, I could probably tell the President of the United States more about affordable housing than he actually knows. To make such a broad and offensively sweeping statements over and over is also at its core, utterly ridiculous. To keep repeating the insulting suburban housewife tweeting points is also just pig ignorant. It will never make the comments true to keep repeating them, just constantly reinforce why no one should vote for him.

A friend of mine reminded me we actually met Joe Biden years ago at something my father took us to. I had forgotten. But we were kids. And the thing about Joe Biden is he has never pretended to be perfect. He has in my opinion, owned his mistakes. He’s not a divider, he’s a uniter. Oh, and people like him. So I would say there is a lot of big orange jealousy going on.

The United States of America is not some giant reality show, but our great nation has been treated like one for four, long, angry years. We owe ourselves better even if for some it means going OUT of their political comfort zone. They need to realize they won’t be like Lot’s wife and be turned to a pillar of salt because I think the angels have been warning us over and over we need complete change.

I mean seriously, do you out there remember when the Republican Party were actually true Republicans? I do. It’s tragic what has happened to that party. But their tragedy is America’s disaster and none of us can afford it.

I am not a big Hillary Clinton fan. Never have been. But when she said the other night we can’t afford another shoulda, woulda, coulda election she is actually absolutely correct.

So Joe Biden, feel free to come door knocking on my front door. I would love to meet you and Kamala Harris. I do spend a lot of time in my apron in my kitchen. But hey, I am a suburban housewife. But as a woman with a brain, that’s not all I am.

God don’t like ugly, and Donnie Boy has cornered the market. He’s actually “winning” ugliness. Please for the love of all that is holy, vote-him-out in November.

Peace out.

You know us, we’re just suburban housewives, we don’t need to think….

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