world weary, need humor

I decided yesterday that we have been in our homes since mid-March and I haven’t seen many people since we’ve all been home, but I am really sick of people.

The behavior I have seen traipse over social media is staggering.

The behavior off of social media? Well looting and rioting are not my thing although I have no problems with peaceful protests. The rare occasions I have been out, people drive crazy and seem to act kooky too. So I have actually been happy to stay home.

But even staying home you can’t escape the crazy afflicting people in 2020. It is staggering. And depressing.

I get tired of people not understanding that we can all express ourselves and have different opinions and it’s not the death of us. I get tired of people telling me how I should feel. I get tired of people assuming they know what anyone is thinking.

I get everyone is stressed out of their gourds, but they need to have a little sensitivity towards others. Like all of the people who decided I was a bad person because I asked if more protests were a good thing.

Let’s review: it has been nearly a week since they started in Philadelphia. We still can’t get my parents out of the city because of road closures and more protests.

I see all these businesses that are trashed in a time when the economy can’t take anymore. I worry that protests will spread COVID19 and we will never be free of it.

I worry that we have a Tweeter in Chief who fans the flames of discontent, is unable to unify anything (look at his marital track record so are we really so surprised?) and used a historic church and a bible as a photo op and political prop and cleared his path by using god knows what flash stuff and we are supposed to be O.K. with that? He wants our lives under military rule and we’re supposed to be O.K. with that?

As I reflect on current events, I am mindful of the riots which have occurred in my own lifetime due to racial injustice. The Chicago Tribune even has a sort of timeline because I do not think they have everything listed, just the biggest ones. How many decades do we have to be outraged before real and mindful change occurs? It’s depressing. We says as a nation we want change, but then it doesn’t change. IT HAS TO CHANGE!

And in addition to the George Floyd nationwide response, we have a flailing economy and the great unknown of the COVID19 global pandemic. And the crazy behaviors associated with COVID19. Take for example a friend of mine took a walk today. Noted that a local kiddy playground was still closed when they were walking by. They posted about it. Immediately people jumped all over them and asked why they were outside. Seriously.

And as I type this, many of my friends are still without power after the crazy storms the other day. They have a name – Derecho. It was a storm where you were waiting for Dorothy, the Wicked Witch of the West and the residents of Oz blow by.

2020 is crazy so far. I want a do-over, don’t you?

So I need humor. This comes from a friend of my mother’s. I can’t take credit:

  1. I hope they give us two weeks notice before sending us back out into the real world. I think we’ll all need the time to become ourselves again. And by “ourselves” I mean lose 10 pounds, cut our hair and get used to not drinking at 9:00 a.m.
  2. New monthly budget: Gas $0 Entertainment $0 Clothes $0 Groceries $2,799.
  3. Breaking News: Wearing a mask inside your home is now highly recommended. Not so much to stop COVID-19, but to stop eating.
  4. Low maintenance chicks are having their moment right now. We don’t have nails to file and paint, roots to dye, eyelashes to re-mink, and are thrilled not to have to get dressed every day. I have been training for this moment my entire life!
  5. When this quarantine is over, let’s not tell some people.
  6. I stepped on my scale this morning. It said: “Please practice social distancing. Only one person at a time on scale.”
  7. Not to brag, but I haven’t been late to anything in over 6 weeks.
  8. It may take a village to raise a child but I swear it’s going to take a vineyard to home school one.
  9. I wanted zombies and anarchy Instead we got working from home and toilet paper shortages. Worst Apocalypse Ever.
  10. They can open things up next month, I’m staying in until July to see what happens to you all first
  11. I was in a long line this morning at the grocery store and it was opening at 8:00 AM for seniors only . A young man came from the parking lot and tried to cut in at the front of the line, but an old lady beat him back into the parking lot with her cane. As he approached the line for the 2nd time he said, “If you don’t let me unlock the door, you’re never going to get in there.”

Enjoy your day. You don’t have anything else.