COVID is one of those things I have decided that when your brain starts to clear from this insidious virus, you are still left to rest, which leaves time for reflection and thinking assorted thoughts.
I have spent the better part of two weeks being sick. Definitely not as sick as I would have been if I hadn’t had shots, but sick enough. It gives you time for reflection when you are not feeling like your eyelids are fever hot and burning and your head is heavy and clogged and you want to sleep, yet you can’t breathe so you sleep in fits and spurts. While I am through the worst of it, the tired factor is definitely real. Truthfully, the last time I felt this tired was when I was going through radiation treatment years ago. It’s a kind of crazy tired where you want to sleep and you just have to rest. Even if you thought you had other plans, you literally have to stop and listen to your body.
Having COVID is also a very weird thing because nobody wants to talk about the fact that they actually have it because there’s such a stigma attached to it after the past few years. When I told people I had been exposed and tested positive some (right or wrong) made me feel like I exposed them to leprosy or worse. I felt that same feeling before when I told people had breast cancer. You can only control yourself you can’t control how people react to a situation but it’s really kind of sucky. I tried really hard since COVID became part of our world to stay healthy so I was feeling bad enough having to say “Hi I have COVID, you’ll need to get tested.”
And then of course there were the people from the event where I picked COVID up. Most were sympathetic, but others less so. Disappointing that some were downright obnoxious, but also human nature and reverting to high school form when uncomfortable. I did the right thing. I told the people I was around I got sick and where I picked it up. For me tracing was not particularly difficult, I don’t go many places and haven’t since COVID because I am immunocompromised.
Then, interestingly, enough, what has occurred over the past couple of weeks as I’ve had COVID are the people that tell me they had COVID but didn’t tell anybody. All these people literally went through this thing without telling people I think in part because of the social and political stigma that has been attached to COVID.
I think if we don’t talk about when we have it, we’re never going to get past it or learn how to get around it.
Then there was the other introspection. When you are supportive of others and then they are shitty to you, it actually hurts. And when you see them doing it to others who have been supportive of them as well, it’s just something which gives you pause. I have observed this recently and it does sadden me .
Now this is someone who could be going through something no one is aware of, but they’ve been pretty obnoxious which then makes you realize that if they want to live on their emotional island you can’t help them with that. Lashing out and pushing people away is their choice. And again, it’s really sad. So you take a step back and hope that they figure it out.
I found myself realizing over the past couple of weeks that I actually spend a lot of time checking in with people who sometimes aren’t so reciprocal. And I get everyone has stuff going on, but human beings can be selfish. And self-serving. This made me realize, we all can and should do better. Be better. But do we remember how?
For the past few years we have been living in an angry, angry country. Things that used to be beautiful and true have turned ugly. Principles and ideals, even political ones we thought we could count on have changed; even dissolved. I think that has had far reaching effects into all of our own lives.
For the political lately (and locally) I have two examples. Sad examples.
First we have the spring primaries. I will go local although I believe the issue is regional, if not statewide. Yes, the Chester County Democratic Committee, AKA the CCDC. Slowly but surely they are emulating what and who they replaced more and more every day. This election they employed the school of political dirty tricks poorly in the 11th hour. Their main problem? They may have knocked out an independent unendorsed candidate this time around, but they can’t control the narrative that their actions, some rather indiscreet, created. That narrative will have far reaching effects and consequences. Their actions have turned off more of their devoted. Me, I sadly expected it. Power corrupts and when leadership is weak and has tunnel vision are we really surprised? Nope, and history bears it all out.
So then we have to think about stupid human tricks. This week’s example comes courtesy of the West Goshen Republican Committee. A gun raffle fundraiser. Talk about tone deaf. The conversation for me, here is not an argument about whether or not people have the right to bear arms because they do in this country. I also, don’t have a problem with responsible gun ownership. The conversation here for me is that a political organization, being deliberately divisive, and acting quite the provocateur. Candidates that accept their gun money, even decent moderate candidates will suffer. It’s in poor taste and throw back Pennsyltucky politics. This is creating unnecessary divisiveness, and again, is in such bad taste.
And then there are the oddities of social media like the people you don’t want to be connected to and don’t even know who try to friend you on every platform. What you do know of them is their bad behavior on public pages. And somehow they feel the need that they have to know you. No, no I don’t want to know you, I choose not to know you. (And that’s okay.)
Then there is the reporter with whom you had a negative interaction with years ago of their initiation that you have zero to do with ever. Because they and several someone elses were indiscreet with a political hot potato e-mail that read like a press release and was shopped they actually think you had access to their email. Bloggers are not hackers, and wowwww please let me off of this crazy train. I don’t roll like that.
From there we move on to crazy school board candidates. They claim to go high yet they run around on the down low accusing people left right and center of doxxing. Ummm yeah, ok, it’s stuff YOU talked about including as a politician so how does this work again? And what’s even funnier is you have supporters who do just that to people but it’s ok?
And yes I have people who track me obsessively because I am a blogger. It’s creepy AF.
The world has turned into a completely crazy place, and sometimes we have to look hard to find our golden moments of peace and happiness. It makes me realize again that life is short. It’s not about being a perfect person because I don’t think we can be as humans. But it’s in part about doing what makes you happy and trying to be a good person.
So what else do I think? I think if you tell people you don’t desire contact with them and they persist with what can only be construed as unwanted contact that it gives you pause. Unwanted contact is creepy. I have actually had to block people on various platforms because they don’t have respect for boundaries. (But I am being repetitive and I apologize. It’s just something I marvel at.)
And then there are the people who are just bad actors on the stage of life. They do things to hurt people and think they answer to no one. Well Karma is a bitch, and eventually the truth will come out. Some of these people also pretend to be able to do jobs they are not actually qualified to do. Some of these jobs are centered around nonprofits which is sad.
These are just some random thoughts I have been having. You can agree with me, or disagree with me, that’s up to you. Life is short. Live it well. Do your best. Be a good human. Stand up for truth.