Hester Prynne. I bet most don’t know what I am referring to. Some will recognize the reference to The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne. And before I get into the crux of this post, allow me to reflect on why many wouldn’t understand the Nathaniel Hawthorne reference. The Scarlet Letter as a novel is about shaming and social stigmatizing of Hester Prynne. But do students even read this book any longer? Are they allowed to?

I wear my scarlet letter as B for blogger or D for Different.

The Scarlet Letter is about 17th century New England. Today one could say the similar behaviors portrayed in this novel (written in the 19th century about life in the 17th century) is sort of life imitates art and art imitates life…and today it plays out nearly every day on social media somewhere. The masses used to whisper behind their hands to their pals in the market square, now they just vomit their word salad thoughts all over social media.

This novel by Nathanial Hawthorne also can be distilled down to a society punishing a woman for refusing to conform to what they determined the acceptable standards to be. Judgement of women. Nothing new there. It takes different forms as time progresses, but it comes back to Different = Bad and one of the Sheeple = Good.

So yesterday a certain wannabe influencer self proclaimed public figure had a rather predictable social media met down. It happened as always on his famous group page which is uplifting and delightful…or so he says, right? I mean gosh that must be totally by accident that he in fact is allowing doxxing of me, right?

File under desperate men do desperate things, don’t they? Including hit up an @everyone when probably not enough people were reading his post?

Let’s break this down shall we?

I’m NOT in his group. I was in it when was it exactly? Two or three years ago? I initially didn’t even KNOW it was HIS group because I was one of the people that he let into the group but blocked. You see if you block people in your group but allow them to be there it pumps up the numbers. And why did he block me in the first place? No one knows. I actually didn’t go into his group very much when I WAS in it because I found it insipid and silly. I could never remember the name of the group – ask my friends – yes OMG I have real friends, he must be jelly right?

Already he was self branding as a public figure and wannabe influencer when he started his preposterous, fake events to meet him and “mingle” (why would you?) I laughed and posted about it- I think most of this influencer stuff is completely fakakta. And why would anyone want to pay to meet him and have cheap bar aps? Seriously?

In October 2023, I believe it was that he called Easttown Township Police on me. I had a conversation with a detective who called to say that oh yes, they had closed an investigation on me that I didn’t know existed in the first place and they found nothing . And why did they find nothing? Because this man puts his life out on public display. He talks about his kids/wife he posts pictures of his kids/wife. He post pictures of his houses everywhere. His cars. His dog. His multiple martini glasses. And what his group is about? Hasn’t it changed like the wind but mostly it’s always been for him to promote his influencerness or whatever?

He called the police after I made fun of his mingle with bad bar food events.
It’s not against the law to post about or make fun of public figures/influencers/wannabe influencers is it? It was an event posted publicly and anyone could buy tickets, right?

I DON’T talk about his wife and I certainly don’t talk about people’s children and he’s just not being truthful, he is in fact coloring wayyy outside of those lines, and isn’t that the real deal? And his kids have not been picked on because of me, if that has happened at all. He talks about his kids. Kids are also not responsible for their parents’ antics.

So let’s refresh because he’s a little slow – obviously I’m not in his group and in like 30 minutes after he posted I had about 50 people send me the screenshots, continuing into today. I also have the screenshots of the comments, and I will get to that.

This guy puts it ALL on PUBLIC display even in his group. Every day. 24/7/365 and it makes a person wonder how he has time for his “busy practice” doesn’t it? And then there are the “Face of the Main Line” ads, right? And they are purchased, correct?

I have never said anything about his education, or his wife’s education.

His wife from what I can tell is a well respected doctor, who would have an issue with that? This here is probably the most I’ve EVER said about his wife just because he basically expresses falsehoods about me speaking about her in a pejorative manner and I have not. I wouldn’t. She’s a real doctor doing real things. As opposed as to seeking sympathy post meltdown on social media, right? I will offer the opinion (which is allowed) that if she was on my care team, I would replace her because of his antics.

And his dog? I have been mean to his dog now as well? Does he need a reminder about what he posted about his dog and a vet he used?

I DID ask if he was a licensed psychologist and why is that a bad thing? Don’t you want someone you are seeing for therapy, counseling, whatever to be licensed? By the way note in the screenshots below that he is not licensed at all at this point (checked database this morning) unless he recently applied for one? Does he want to explain that fine or is that my fault too?

And if he is supposed to be a psychotherapist or therapist of any kind, or a counselor, etc. is he exhibiting NORMAL behavior? Or is he twisting things with purpose in the hopes someone harms me?

And because he is essentially nouveau Main Line or tries to be, he wouldn’t know that I am known, and I am hardly hiding. I merely choose with whom I wish to interact.

And I must now ask because I’m genuinely curious, what precisely IS his work in the community for 24 years? Has he actually been on the Main Line for 24 years? Or is that like dog years or something? Did anyone know he existed before he put himself AND his family out on public display a handful of years ago?

I can’t control what he does or whatever freaky types contact him about me. Every pot has it’s lid even on social media, right?

I like that he thinks he has hidden cameras INSIDE my house so he knows what I am doing 24 hours a day, and if so, isn’t that example of what a stalker is, gosh what is? Does he like that post breast cancer I have 1 1/2 breasts, not two?

I should mention that I don’t actually know where he lives in Berwyn – and he posted his Delaware house for sale listing at one point in some public beach centric Facebook group, so umm?? And a reminder: he posts photos of his house or houses himself, so that dog don’t hunt either.

I like that he seems to think that I am still in his group and doesn’t get as I previously stated that I don’t see any of his stuff on social media first person – people send me screenshots. All these fabulous people whom he thinks ADORE him, but do they? Is that the real problem he has? That people pass screenshots around?

Seems to me that someone has his knickers in a twist over his own recent antics? Dude, YOU put this stuff out there – it ALL originates with you. And everything YOU accuse ME of doing you are attempting to do to me? Come on man child, for real ?

I think it’s a wee bit dramatic to say that I “hate” a public figure and wannabe influencer, isn’t it? That would imply a relationship that doesn’t exist.

Is this just trying to raise his image at my expense? Whatever. I guess I just don’t have the same needs as him , do I?

Poor wee man.

Also important to note that photo he used of me without attribution in his meltdown this weekend was from SAVVY Main Line. Yeah babe, that’s me…hiding. I should comment about why that photo was taken. Context is important – It was the 10 year anniversary of being breast cancer free, one year left on Tamoxifen, and I took friends on a special garden tour to celebrate. Caroline who owns and founded and created Savvy was with us that day and was at Lankenau Hospital the day I rang the bell after finishing treatment for breast cancer in 2011.

Here’s a synopsis of that time, those early days of diagnosis, surgery, treatment.

It all began during a routine checkup in March of 2011. I told my gynecologist, that I had found a lump. You should understand that, for me, lumps are not very unusual as I have a familial trait many women have of dense breasts. As she felt my left breast, a look came over her face. “I’m sending you to a breast surgeon. If I miss something I would never forgive myself,” she said.

I think in my heart of hearts I already knew what the result would be, and during the late afternoon of April 28 – just as my high school reunion from Shipley that year was about to begin – I received news no woman wants to hear: “You have breast cancer.” Invasive, lobular breast cancer to be precise. The room swirled for a moment. It was a total out-of-body, this-can’t-be-happening moment.

I spent a few of those early days in front of a mirror, trying to come to terms with how I looked at that moment, and how I might look after (depending on the size of the mass and the margins that needed to come out around it.) I also made my peace with the possibility of losing the entire breast. That was a really hard and weird place to go, but I had to do it. I stood in front of the mirror and covered up one breast. That was when it really hit me: breast cancer hits the core of femininity in every woman it touches.

I had a lumpectomy – also known as a partial mastectomy . Radiation, although easier then chemotherapy, was rough. Not only are you incredibly tired all the time, but you also have to live with perpetual sunburn that really, really hurts. Because my skin is sensitive, I had what can only be described as radiation rash and patches of degraded skin. Sharp, shooting pains running through the surgical site periodically as internal stiches continue to work their way out. Some days I was so tired that all wanted to do is sleep, but I couldn’t. Still, every day of radiation brought me one step closer to the end of that phase of my treatment. This taught me a lot about myself. I learned that I’m much tougher than I thought and that I’ve been blessed. Not only do I have a supportive family, but I also have the most amazing friends in the world.

September 13, 2011 was a sunny Tuesday morning, and I finished my radiation. I was overcome with emotion all morning but did my actual crying in the treatment room when it was over – bittersweet tears of happiness, relief and gratitude that no one saw. I knew I’d never forget the awesome team of technicians and nurses at Lankenau.

A slew of people gathered in the waiting room that day, including the author of Savvy Main Line. When it was all over and I rang the special bell signifying the end of treatment, they cheered. A hospital administrator actually chided us then for being too loud.

I’m now part of the sisterhood – women of different races, ethnicities, ages, sizes and shapes -forever bound together by this disease. So that was why that special garden visit recorded in Savvy where he took their photo from was about. It marked an important milestone in my breast cancer journey.

Now let’s delve into the comments. We’ll start slow with someone about to open a business localish to us. He also sent me an unsolicited message and OMG LOL he blocked me from responding… yet goes and adds his two unsolicited cents as a brand new business about to open over there in the comments from the Main Line Meltdown post? I mean what did I expect from a kibitzer? Guess he just plays both sides against the middle?

The sad thing is I was looking forward to another real deli closer than Philadelphia or the lower Main Line.

#GoBrandon !

Then there is a woman who is her own weirdness. This particular woman has allowed for the past few years in her group (which I never had any desire to join), for people to occasionally have entire threads up about me slamming and essentially disparaging me like I am a public figure or a politician or a celebrity instead of what I am, which is a middle-aged woman living in a community. Yes, there have been screenshots over the years.

This person reappeared a few weeks ago when there was a dust up in my gifting group because I had restated some basic rules like no mattresses, alcohol, prescription meds, etc. Real terrible stuff reminding people about items that may have attached liability issues, right? This woman essentially told an untruth in another thread first by saying I had spies on that woman’s page – it was a public post at least for a while- duh it had a little globe. I ironically stumbled upon the post myself because the woman who started this post kept getting suggested by Facebook as a friend so I finally went to look at her profile out of curiosity and saw this nutso post. Completely by fate I discovered it.

So back to this other woman who decided to tell an outright untruth by saying she was getting private messages from me insinuating many or several. There was ONE private message. This particular woman has had over the years demonstrated oddly competitive and nasty behavior towards me and others on social media I have never understood. ONCE as in the one and only time I saw her in person (I said hello) and she was quiet like an introverted mouse. And if she had EVER called the police on me, the police would’ve called me. It’s how it works.

Should I have sent the message? Perhaps not. But I have had a few years of crap at the hands of this person on social media and there comes a time in your life where you feel the need to take your power back even if it is by merely telling her the post I saw was public and I see her for who she is and always have. It started with her when I started a group and she wanted to join. After she was in the group, she literally tried to take it over. She was removed. So she went to start a competing group, only she was the one competing, not me.

And this woman claims she has no photos of her kids online? Yes she has had them and I have never shared them. If they appeared on a screenshot because she made something public, I have no recollection. Her kids are her kids, no interest to me but it makes a better yarn for her to say so I guess? I finally blocked her after the gifting group thing.

So she pops up here on the Influencer’s Lament, trying to seek relevance again I suppose? Spinning quite literally a yarn. Says she never met me in person. Again, as mentioned, she did once, and she was like a little mouse. Very different from her online persona.

And then there are other people. Mostly ones I blocked because I chose not to interact, and others I removed from various Facebook groups. It’s like they congregate in this group so they can slurp on my social media corpse. Monty Python would tell them I am not dead yet.

None of them know me. I certainly don’t wish to know them.

I am not in the group, and I am sent the screenshots. People are sharing screenshots all over, it’s what people do on social media. So when His Public Figureness refers to “hundreds” of screenshots of him taken by me? Umm duuuuddde, I am not in your group and I blocked you long ago. Yes there are screenshots, sent by other people, and certainly not hundreds. That is actually funny he must think he’s Beyoncé or something. And remember, (and I quote from a Main Line Today ad) he asks constructive questions, providing non-judgmental feedback and insight.

Now, the comments. They hold their own sociological fascination and it’s that gossip pack mentality in action. Am I supposed to be crushed by them? I’m not. I merely marvel. Why do so many people care about me one person? It doesn’t compute. And really it shouldn’t as it is somewhat nonsensical.

Have I lived the perfect life? No. But I like to think I am honest about who I am and I do actually try to be nice to people. Are there some people it is virtually impossible to be nice to? Yes indeed. And if you know me, you know I don’t suffer fools gladly. I try to avoid those people.

Truthfully, those who are mean and spiteful gossips “spreading the love” fall into the category of those people you choose not to have in your life after a point or at all in the first place. Psychologically I can only wonder what they are punishing the world for, but the truth of the matter is none of us are getting any younger. And you also have to accept people are different from you and as human beings we are not designed to be carbon copies of one and other. We are truly allowed to have different opinions and to be different people.

Ahh yes, the old adage you are judged by the company you keep. I remember my own mother telling me that when I was a teenager, and I remember scoffing at the idea. Then I remember being in my mid 20s and figuring out exactly what she was talking about and it was one of those a-ha moments that sometimes your mother is right. A friend of mine and I were talking about it recently and they said their mother said to them “show me your friends, I’ll show you your future.”

“People will question all the good things they hear about you but believe all the bad without a second thought.”

I have learned again among other things that apparently I wish to control local social media. I am amused at the sheer preposterousness of the statement.

Sadly, there is in human nature the desire to gossip or chatter about others. Anyone who says they haven’t done it isn’t being honest with themselves. I have written about it before because it is an interesting study in basic human nature or human flaws, take you pick.

Hester Prynne signing off.