never wear a partridge in a pear tree on your head and other millinery mistakes

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Actress Christie MacDonald flaunting a flock of family of artificial birds on her hat,                         circa 1902. Photo from Popsci.com

So it’s December, and people are talking about Christmas. And decorating and throwing Christmas parties and singing Christmas carols.  You know like The Twelve Days of Christmas.

Image result for partridge in a pear tree lyrics

And while a partridge in a pear tree is a lovely song lyric, would you go around wearing one on your head? I wouldn’t. And  if I saw someone doing it I would probably blog about it.  And file under millinery mistakes.

Yes…I am about to be my own ghost of Christmas past…..the scene is about to be set…..

Now way back in the fashion mistakes of 2012 were the women who went to Ladies Hat Day at Devon who wore loads of more fall appropriate taxidermy (but why did the taxidermy have to come off of the wall again?)   They also tried to cover up tattoos with concealer make-up but it was so warm that spring day at Devon, that the make-up ran, but I digress.

In addition to the taxidermy that year was someone else  who describes herself as a milliner who wore…wait for it…an upside down plastic or lucite salad bowl and called it a hat. It was very Carmen Miranda of her.

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You all will remember a post on this blog mocking that creation and others over six years ago…in 2012.  It was right here, you know who wrote it, I did not hide my opinion.  That year it was such a carnival side-show at Devon’s Ladies’ Hat Day many others had a lot to say, including some other bloggers whom I never knew that I haven’t actually seen blog for years at this point. Blogs and bloggers come and go, and I am always amused people think I wrote every single one of them. LOL how would I sleep?

Apparently I am also solely responsible for all of the mocking which occurred that day. Over six years ago.  Dayummm, I must have super powers, right?

That was the Ladies Hat Day where I decided I was done with an event I used to very much enjoy….when it was mimosas, tea sandwiches, lovely summer dresses, and beautiful seasonally appropriate millinery. That day I (like make others) decided our social and charitable event money would be better spent elsewhere.

That 2012 Devon Horse Show is when we saw what that event was evolving into. No thanks. Cattle calls of ridiculousness. Bleck. I do not understand why people do not get that a lovely tradition at a horse show should have remained a lovely, civilized tradition.

Flash forward to this year.  Haven’t thought about that post or that “milliner” in forever. Why would I? She’s not in my social circles and I know a couple of actual milliners, one of whom who has trained in the U.K. and Europe.  And the milliners I know, know I don’t really wear a lot of hats.  Once in a while, but it’s not my jam. You see, when you talk with your hands, you tend to knock them off your own head and then they become flying weapons and additional drama…..

chicken12daysNow a funny story. When my husband and I were married, a milliner made me amazing white silk poinsettias to wear in my hair because I did not want a hat or a veil.  I designed what I wanted to wear in my hair and the milliner brought my design to life. The detail was fabulous. They were ethereal and beautiful – perfect for a holiday season wedding. Immediately after photos of the flowers in my hair surfaced, others who fashion themselves milliners and loving hands at home hat makers tried to copy them.  But they failed and looked quite cartoonish because they did not have the mad skills of the woman who made them for me.

But most of these modern “milliners” are so different from their predecessors. Or their European counterparts.  In most places in the United States, Europe and the U.K.  as has been the case as long as millinery has been part of ladies’ fashion, you know who the best are, but they don’t compete in hat contests wearing lucite salad bowls upside down on their heads, do they?

Anyway, why I am I talking again about buffet station pieces at “Glamour Don’ts”? Let me explain. Mrs. Lucite Salad Bowl 2012 felt the need to surface on photos a friend took at a private Christmas party. Friends and family celebrating the season.  It wasn’t an event for charity or public media coverage, it was a lovely and beautiful party where those in my world who are dear to me could get together and celebrate the joy of the Christmas season.

On one set of photos up pops Mrs. Lucite Salad Bowl 2012.  How I am a horrible person who (in her words since she desperately needs to be heard apparently)  “she never even met me, never knew me, never interviewed me and meanwhile made vicious assumptions and judgments.”

Oh and then she blamed ME personally for every other thing on the Internet back then (in 2012)  mocking that “hat”. From 2012 and you have had nothing else to talk about since? No joys or happiness? Truly, I am so sorry.

So Mrs. Lucite Salad Bowl 2012, allow me to be clear:

I have blog under my real first name and yes I did indeed mock your “hat” in 2012 because it was absurd – and I said so under my own name. I will say it again now and add I find most of your creations are absurd. Not fun, not edgy, not sophisticated, not beautiful—- absurd. And I am allowed that opinion. Ironically, I do not fashion myself the Fashion Police, just calling it how I feel about it.

A blog is someone’s opinion and MY opinion on that cheap piece of upside down lucite way back in the fashion mistakes of 2012 was shared by MANY that year.  I can’t tell you what they said, only what I said. And yes, I mocked it.  It wasn’t even clever.

Saying your “hat” in 2012 was absurd is not making “vicious assumptions and judgements” it was stating my OPINION. Is your ego so grand that you think I was supposed to interview you about that at the time? Or swap you a creation for a fake positive write-up like a compensated blogger which I am not? Are you high society somewhere and I missed the memo? Are we supposed to kiss the hem of your proverbial garmets?

You do not have to like me or my opinions, but the way you chose to vent a very old spleen from 2012 was well, tacky  (you do however get an 8 out of 10 for combining those particular degrees of difficulty.)  Do you see me or anyone else commenting on your family gatherings or family for that matter? Nope because you just don’t do that.

Mind you some of my friends had the following to say about people who are Christmas trolls:

Geez it is a salad bowl- fact- I had one like it years ago- pitched it because it was ugly even as a salad bowl.

And…

That hat, like any good salad, should be tossed. Reminds me of the Dead Kennedys album “Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables”. Like opening the refrigerator drawer and finding a bag full of brown slime at the bottom after six years that insists it was fashionable but was really past its best before it was even put on display. A fashion disaster worthy of the Titanic – “Iceberg (lettuce) dead ahead.”

And my favorite:

Don’t get me going… When the hat made its debut not a shred of good taste romained. The fashion police should have caesar.

So do you feel better now? If you are going to have cat scratch fever, at least get your facts straight and try not to look so silly next time.  You see dear, I don’t care that you didn’t like my opinion in 2012, I found it in extremely poor taste that you would choose to deliver your opinion on Christmas party photos of a mutual friend.  You don’t have to like me, but do you really think so little of them?

Merry Christmas and Bless your heart.

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your health is NOT worth penn medicine radnor

Steve Smith can also be reached at Steven.Smith2@uphs.upenn.edu

When you complain about the parking and the unsafe parking lot this is the little strip of paper they hand you at Penn Medicine Radnor. (This is of course after the security guard shrugs their shoulders at you.)

Ever since I became an oncology patient 7 1/2 years ago I seem to have a lot of doctors appointments. Today I was supposed to see my oncologist and I almost turned around and went home the parking lot was that bad.

Today was the day I saw a man on a walker almost get hit by a car at a medical facility. And the driver of said vehicle as they sped by had the nerve to glare at the poor man on the walker.

I had two appointments this week at Penn Radnor. Thank the good Lord I don’t have to go back before the new year. I understand they are moving into a new facility, and I don’t want to jump on the anti-Penn in Radnor bandwagon but I’m sorely tempted at this point.

When I got there this morning if an ambulance had to come in and get someone they would not have been able to navigate through the parking lot because there was barely any space to get through. People were parked on shoulders, people were parked on the grass, people were parked in fire lanes, people were parked on curves. And this isn’t just passenger vehicles there were a couple of trucks too.

And I know it’s not any safer for the staff and medical professionals than it is for the patients. Penn Medicine has a lot of money. They need to throw some towards a parking solution. Telling patients who are upset when they walk in the door what does anyone expect them to do about it is not a solution. And I had not one but two security guards shrug their shoulders at me this week. This morning the security guard barely acknowledged me and handed me a little slip of paper with the name and phone number of the chief operating officer. He of course did not answer his phone.

Today was the day where I once again called Radnor Township about this parking lot. It’s private property, but when they block fire lanes and things like that it becomes a health safety and welfare issue in my opinion.

Now somewhat say how can they predict how many people are going to be in the parking lot each day. Simple all the people that have appointments represent a vehicle. So they can track that in their computer system. That of course does not take into consideration patients coming in on an urgent basis or possibly without an appointment.

When you enter their property in Radnor you are entering a state of chaos. Every single day. And if the parking wasn’t bad enough the people who can’t wait and have to go drive unsafely around people waiting for a parking space cause additional hazards.

I am beginning to think that my life is not worth Penn Medicine at Radnor because if it was Penn Medicine would do something about their parking lot.

boundaries

Boundaries. As in some people need them.

I am an actual real person. Not just some “blogger lady”.

People who contact me tossing around the names of friends of friends without the benefit of an actual introduction (or really knowing the names they cavalierly throw out) will be ignored. And blocked and reported on social media.

And if unwanted contact persists, I can and will turn them over to law enforcement. The same will happen if they decide to show up at my home.

I do NOT and will NOT play here.

I chose my topics I write about and that is the bottom line. I am not a compensated blogger, and in this venue I am not a writer for hire and I will NOT be guided by personal agendas of others. I chose my topics because they interest me or touch my life or world. I am not some sort of revolutionary,

We live in a very strange and angry world today and sorry not sorry, I am over weird contact. My blog’s Facebook page allows people to send me a message. That is sufficient means for anyone to contact me who doesn’t know me. And messages which are “off”, untoward, threatening, etc are retained and reported. If your reasons for contacting my blog’s Facebook page and sending a message are true, you have nothing to worry about.

Thanks

oh amazon, are you missing a bunch of deliveries??

9/24/18 UPDATE: Friday night came and went and although I called Amazon Logistics , the retrieval driver never showed up for all the packages. So on Saturday my husband and I decided to get all the packages we could possibly get to their intended owners and correct addresses. People came to pick them up, a few we dropped off.

In between all of this I made more phone calls to Amazon Logistics. They requested of this Amazon delivery hub in King of Prussia three times to come pick up these packages over the weekend and no one ever showed up. And I will note someone asked me why I just didn’t give these to a UPS driver or a USPS person, and the reason is simple: these packages that are going specifically via Amazon’s own drivers are not allowed to be given to the post office or another carrier.

By the end of the weekend all but two packages found their way home. Then today I found out something I had ordered for our son for his birthday at college was just never delivered by… Wait for it… A dedicated Amazon Logistics driver in another state! So while I had them on the phone about that package and getting it re-delivered we also went over my weekend experience as an Amazon delivery hub. This logistics person who was in Ohio also has now put in a request for Amazon to send a retrieval driver to pick up the remaining two packages from me.

I have to also note that ironically a lot of people gave me a hard time for doing this, like why was I bothering? I was bothering because it’s a good thing to pay it forward, and as someone who has had Amazon packages go missing, I also know how frustrating that is.

The nicest part of this whole experience has been meeting more neighbors. We’re a little spread out here, so unless you have kids in school with their kids or go to their church you don’t necessarily meet a lot of your neighbors.

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I came home this afternoon to this giant gray bag is sitting in the middle of my street. We parked the car and walked over and this is what it is – a giant heavy bag of other people’s Amazon packages!

I just spent 20 minutes on the phone with Amazon Logistics and they are sending someone to pick it up. However, I don’t understand how someone could drive away leaving an entire bag sitting in the middle of the street?

I guess I understand now how Amazon packages go missing. I have heard of people stumbling across things like this but never believed it.

why no one should shop at sears…EVER

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Meet our giant white paperweight.  Sears delivered a BRAND NEW BROKEN, yes BROKEN refrigerator.  They refused to come back and pick it up even though we called within MINUTES of the truck leaving our driveway.

Today was just a day.

From hell.

Our pretty Samsung refrigerator went on life support and repairs would have been easily more than half of a new refrigerator so we opted to replace it.

We have always done the bulk of our appliance shopping over the past few years from the Sears Outlet online.  My husband liked dealing with them…I had no issues until today, either.

Let’s back up to we ordered the new refrigerator.  Nothing fancy, a Kenmore side by side with ice and water on the door.  We figured we would go with something we thought could get repaired in case of an issue.

Up until a few years ago, when you got a new appliance, they took the old appliance away. Not anymore.  So we had to hire our favorite movers (Lite Movers of Wayne, PA and they are awesome) to come move the dying fridge out of the house pending pick up from PECO who does appliance recycling (it has to run when it is plugged in still, which the old one does.)

Fast forward until today.  They came to deliver the Sears refrigerator.  What they will do now is unbox it and move it into place, the rest is on the customer. It was quite the ordeal to get everything moved and prepped and ready as ours is an older home.

The delivery guys couldn’t have been nicer.  They unboxed it and pointed out a scratch in the white door.  That was no biggie as it was nothing a little appliance touch up paint couldn’t cover.

The delivery guys plugged it in and were on their way.  Then I went to open the refrigerator door.  It would not open.  The freezer door opened fine, but the refrigerator side? BROKEN.  Son of a bitch we just paid to have a dying appliance replaced with a broken appliance.  Yes, I am cursing, it has been a very special day.

Immediately we are on the phone to Sears. Only you CANNOT get a person in the US on the phone. All people in offshore call centers reading from scripts that tell you that they “completely understand” how you are feeling.  Uhh no, you couldn’t possibly understand. Trust me.

After four frustrating calls where all I get is the Philippines and they can’t help and they want me to talk to the outlet store in Norristown, PA.  Norristown isn’t going to help me, I ordered ONLINE. Oh and they keep mispronouncing my name. Which is incredibly offensive after the 6th mispronounce in one conversation.

These helpful offshore call center employees of Sears may be fluent in English to a point, but they are not native speakers.  English is a second language and they just aren’t comprehending what is being said, and can’t go off script.  They also can’t (or maybe it’s won’t?) transfer your call BACK to the U.S. Every other cheap American company which utilizes offshore labor has the ability to transfer you BACK to a U.S. call center if that is what you want, even Comcast, which I think has some of the absolute worst customer service ever.

I go to trusty Google and Google the corporate offices of Sears. Aha! An actual address and phone number with a recognizable U.S. area code.

But no.  You dial and you get…the Philippines. So I keep dialing.  ONE time out of about two dozen calls I get someone in Illinois.  I think they were related to the Seinfeld Soup Nazi of days gone by they were so rude.  “You listen to me,” the operator says. “I am going to talk and then you can speak. You are going to listen to ME. I am not listening to you.”

(SAY WHAAAATTT?)

I try to explain to the operator I would like to speak with someone in the Executive Offices specifically having to do with serious customer service issues.  The operator told me that essentially those people would not speak with me. I can’t remember the exact phraseology but it was probably the rudest switchboard operator since they first were handling one ringy dingy. They were so bad I wished I had recorded the conversation. I ended the call and tried calling back to get someone, anyone to help me.

Yeah…. so….. no…. just more  Phillipines. (And you know why these call centers are in off shore and third world countries, right? It is so they can pay employees super duper low wages and get away with it.  Cheap labor.

So I started looking around for other people to speak with.  They say Eddie Lampert is the CEO or President or Chairman of the Board.   Only you can’t speak with him or anyone in his office, all you get is a voicemail in Illinois that never calls anyone back.  I have to wonder if anyone listens to it. There is also this chick, Leena Munjal
Senior Vice President, Customer Experience and Integrated Retail.  She is unable to come to the phone as well. Very busy important people. Me the peon should just know better, right?

who to call

So I kept Googling.  Apparently Mr. Fast Eddie Lampert is just a hedge fund guy. Yep, just another hedge fund guy picking the carcass of a business clean for their own profits, right?

Here, I looked up Eddie Lampert and found this:

 

 

New York Times : Sears and Its Hedge Fund Owner, in Slow Decline Together By James B. Stewart
March 30, 2017

Hedge funds have been failing over the last year at the fastest rate since the financial crisis in 2008. Some crashed and burned after sudden reversals. Others quietly liquidated.

Then there’s Edward S. Lampert’s ESL Investments. It hasn’t failed, but may be setting a benchmark for slow, painful declines thanks to its outsize, long-term bet on two venerable retailers, Sears and Kmart.

Last week, Sears Holdings, the parent company, said what was becoming increasingly obvious to most investors, not to mention anyone who’s been in a Sears store lately: “Substantial doubt exists related to the company’s ability to continue as a going concern.”….Mr. Lampert was a Wall Street wunderkind, a Goldman Sachs intern whose intellect, ingratiating personality and prodigious work ethic attracted the patronage of some of America’s most prominent and successful investors…founded ESL in 1988 with $28 million in seed money … 

Sears’ reclusive CEO explains why he rarely visits the office — and instead lives at his sprawling $38 million estate that’s 1,400 miles away
Business Insider Hayley Peterson Mar. 27, 2018, 10:55 AM

“THEY COULD HAVE MADE A DIFFERENT DECISION”: INSIDE THE STRANGE ODYSSEY OF HEDGE-FUND KING EDDIE LAMPERT
In 2003, many were skeptical when Lampert married Sears to Kmart. Now, with hundreds of stores closed and thousands thrown out of work, Lampert defends his strategies in his first in-depth interview in 15 years. The author also tracks down the man who kidnapped Lampert before the Kmart deal went through.

bloomberg

VANITY FAIR BY WILLIAM D. COHAN
APRIL 2018

Aug 20, 2018, 03:23pm
Fortune: Eddie Lampert Just Can’t Stop Picking At Sears’ Carcass
Steve Dennis

There are many, many articles. I am not posting more. They are all variations of the same theme.

So I also decided to call up the ESL hedge fund so I looked them up on Bloomberg.

Yes really, I called.  So what?

Did I expect to get anyone to speak with me? No, but it has been the day from hell with Sears so what did I have to lose? I was kind of curious as to what they would say.

Years ago, I worked for a couple of years for a now-defunct hedge fund. So I knew whomever answered the phone would be snotty pants the receptionist.  She did not disappoint. She was superior to little old me in every way…on the phone.

 

Whatevs.  I admit I was unpleasant and irritating.  But in my own defense, I have a dying refrigerator outside pending pick up for disposal, and a giant white albatross paperweight of a broken yet new refrigerator in my kitchen, which I now have to pay to have moved out of my kitchen so Sears can retrieve it.  I cook, I like a neat house and everything looks like hell in a hand basket.

Apparently it is too much to ask to have a WORKING REFRIGERATOR DELIVERED BY SEARS!!!

I now know no more Sears for anything. I understand why so many Sears and Kmart stores have closed.  I understand why people said to me we should have called Queen, or D & K, or Gerhard’s  or another local appliance store…or even Lowe’s or Home Depot.

Sears sucks. I hope the hedge fund prince of an owner enjoys his lovely estates. I hope someone involves them and Sears in a giant class action lawsuit some day.  For the crappy customer service alone and the inability to talk to anyone pleasant in the U.S. they deserve no less.

Don’t buy a paperclip from Sears.

Sign me disgusted by yet another U.S. business that is being killed by a hedge fund.

lower merion school district is having stoneleigh sunshine issues?

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Oh CBS3 I think I love that you love “sunshine”.  What am I talking about? Oh my, check out the CBS3 video about Stoneleigh in Lower Merion.

I am going to let CBS3 tell the story:

CBS3 Emails Reveal Private Tour, Internal School Board Conversations As Stoneleigh Gardens Controversy Continues
By Joe HoldenAugust 1, 2018 at 11:36 pm

PHILADELPHIA (CBS) — Those set on preserving Stoneleigh Gardens versus the Lower Merion School District: It was a boil over this spring that has since simmered in the quiet summer months. But a final decision has yet to be made on the Main Line property that school officials identified in April for possible seizure under eminent domain. The announcement came at the same time the Gardens opened to the public and whipped up a firestorm.

“The Lower Merion School District still hasn’t taken Stoneleigh off the table and until and unless they do so, it’s still at risk,” said Oliver Bass, who is with Natural Lands, the non-profit organization responsible for preserving Stoneleigh.

On June 18, CBS3 filed an open records request with the Lower Merion School District for all emails about Stoneleigh between the superintendent and school board. A month later, the district responded.

It’s unknown how many emails traveled back and forth, but Lower Merion decided to keep virtually all of the electronic correspondence secret, based on attorney-client privilege and a real estate exemption, the denial read.

“Any time in the USA when we hear of government taking property, it strikes right at the core of our fundamental principles.”

Terry Mutchler, former head of Pennsylvania’s Open Records Office and a national transparency lawyer said Lower Merion has an obligation to be open — especially given the Stoneleigh uproar.

“I would think the district would want to be more in the sunshine than behind the curtain on this,” Mutchler said.

CLICK HERE TO READ EMAILS OBTAINED BY CBS3

Here are the emails released by CBS3:

The released e-mails are naturally not earth shattering (but still interesting) , nor am I shocked that Lower Merion School District finds itself above sunshine. They have always flet themselves collectively superior to everyone.

Soooo, how would more people like to submit Rights to Know on Lower Merion School District? (Follow this LINK to files a right to know on super secret and unpleasant Lower Merion School District.)

Stoneleigh is NOT safe although Lower Merion School District bought or is buying the Clothier Estate. Don’t be lulled into complacency. They are greedy snakes in the grass and until there is a public and irrefutable statement that Stoneleigh is off of the table, it’s just not.

Governor Wolf signed the Stoneleigh eminent domain bill into law because he’s up for re-election , BUT again, Stoneleigh is NOT off the Lower Merion School District dining table.

If you live in Lower Merion Township, it’s time to dump the latest bad school Superintendent (Copeland) and it’s time to dump Dr. Melissa Gilbert and her merry band of Stepford Board Members off of the school board.  Once upon a time I had high hopes for Melissa, but now she just believes her own press.

Support Natural Lands. #SaveStoneleigh

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perception is like a bend in the road….

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Being a writer and a blogger is a funny thing.  I am not a compensated blogger (and to check out how they often plan about things to write read this post), I write because I like to write.  I also write  because it’s my catharsis and way to work through things. I share my opinions, my garden, things in my life, and I even share my photography and recipes.

“Blogging” is a very widely used phrase today and face it, it is is fairly common  that with everyone you meet they either blog on their own or follow blogs. It is rare that you meet someone who doesn’t follow something.

Some people incorrectly refer to social media pages as blogs.  They aren’t, although bloggers share their work most easily via social media.

Perception, as defined is first of all from the Latin “perceptio” and is the organization, identification, and interpretation of sensory information in order to represent and understand the presented information, or the environment.

Perception is like a bend in the road. Everyone sees the bend a little differently.

Human beings all see things differently.  Put a bunch of people in a room and show them a photo.  They all see different things.  Leave them in the room, and human nature takes over, and some of those who are stronger willed than others will try to impress THEIR perception upon people, tell them that their individual perception is the only one that matters.  You can literally watch as something goes from individual perception to more of a mob mentality. It’s fascinating.  (It happens in social media groups on Facebook all of the time. )

People are often so uncomfortable with the perceptions of others, no matter how benign. Some of these types like others to think blogging is a four letter word.  Or that the blogger is a bad person merely because their opinions and experiences are different from theirs. Or because a blogger is expressing some of their perceptions, experiences, and opinions openly.

Recently, I wrote a post about essentially the end of one chapter of my journey as a stepparent with a child graduating high school. I wrote about my perceptions, my feelings, my experiences. Today I heard from a friend.  Passing along a message from parents who did not like what I wrote.

Seriously.

I wonder, did they also have a problem about an article on stepparenting I wrote in 2017 for a regional magazine?

I am sorry they did not like what I wrote.  It was about my experiences. It makes me understand once again, why so many stepparents do not like to talk about their experiences.  It is often like we are not supposed to have feelings and experiences.  We are just supposed to soldier on and never talk about it at all.

Being a stepparent is the hardest best job I have ever had. At times it is exhausting and frustrating. And then there are those moments, those magical moments, where it all comes together.

I became a stepparent in my 40s. Most of my friends had been at parenting since their 20s, maybe early 30s. I knew when my sweet man and I got together it was a package deal, father and son. (They even have the same shaped hands.)

But being a fair bit older than parents with similarly aged children, I have felt at times like I was walking a tightrope without a net. When I am unsure, it is sometimes really hard to know what to do. Everyone wants to help and give you parenting advice. You don’t want to offend, yet sometimes you want to scream “stop” because the role of a stepparent is so different.

A stepparent is not a traditional parent.  You can’t replace the parent who is absent, and shouldn’t.  No matter the state of the relationship the natural parent (in my case mother), a stepparent must respect that bond.  And be aware, even if the bond is fractured, it does exist.

Everyone expects a blended family to emerge overnight.  That is a myth.  As much as you want life to be like a Hallmark Channel television movie, it isn’t.

Creating a blended family takes a lot of time and hard work.

As a stepparent I do not have that literal biological bond.   So there have been plenty of days I wanted to scream into my pillow “I can’t do this!” and I have cried buckets by myself out of frustration.  But underneath it all, if you nurture it and let it grow, is an amazing relationship.

As a stepparent you respect the family traditions you inherit with the relationship, and you work to create new ones.  Your job is not to erase the past, and together you create new memories.

For everything a writer writes, there will be at least one person who dislikes what you are writing about, and honestly, usually more.  And if you are a blogger, well just add to the numbers. Why? Because a lot of people do not consider bloggers real writers.

I am a real person.  I am a real stepparent.  I share some of my experiences because it makes others in my shoes as a stepparent feel less alone.  Much the way I also blogged my way through breast cancer.

Perception is a funny thing, and I am discovering it is especially funny when it comes to parenting.  I can never decide if it is because we are all supposed to have perfect Facebook-ready families at all times, or if people are just that uncomfortable if you are different, or your opinion is different, or if their kids think the moon is made of cheese and you think that is silly.

When it comes to being a stepparent, the parents I have met for the first time who are the least judgmental are individuals who were not born in the US.  As in people who grew up  elsewhere who came to this country and became citizens.  I think they are more kind a lot of the time because so many people can be so incredibly ignorant to those who are non-native born. As human beings we can be incredibly judgmental.  Sometimes it is very hard not to be.

I find this all to be a conundrum of sorts.  Here we are (in theory) supposedly teaching our kids to be good humans, yet often as adults we often can’t accomplish that on our own.

Well that’s enough from my catbird seat as a stepparent.

It’s all about perception.

Thanks for stopping by.