I will open this post with you can’t be all things to all people. Those who say they can are selfish, narcissists, or even delusional. So why pretend? Just be yourself, yet people pretend because they think that is what your are supposed to do.

Life is too short to be other than yourself. Take off the veneer and get real.

On the 4th of July I posted something to my personal page. I decided to share it here today.

I called it the care and feeding of relationships:

I will preface my comments with this isn’t directed at any one person in particular or any group of people in particular. These are just some of the things I think about. (now people are saying uh-oh, she’s been thinking again. )

People grow and change as they age. Sometimes for the better, sometimes not so good.

I am really lucky because I literally have friends from like grade school on. And I value my relationships but as I age, it’s just human nature that I don’t think perhaps some people value me as much in some cases, or they have a perception of who they think I should be when I’ve always been just myself .

I have always told people I’m an acquired taste. And I’ve always been opinionated. But the difference between me and a lot of other people you might come across in your life is I am a real person, I don’t just play one on social media.

But I think a lot of people don’t put time into their relationships. I try to stay in touch with people, but sometimes I fall flat at that goal because life gets in the way and if you don’t hear from me, it’s not because I’ve moved onto the next best thing, it just means I have stuff going on in my own life.

It’s just like I don’t get particularly upset if I don’t hear from certain friends all of the time, because I know they have stuff going on. I don’t think any of this used to bother people as much before social media. I think well social media does this great job of bringing people together, it also leaves us with somewhat unrealistic expectations at time or the need for instant gratification.

I think from time to time we all have stuff going on in our lives. And I think one of the things that I don’t particularly care for in our modern society is people are often very quick to dispose of other people and there’s also the thing that a lot of people don’t have conversations anymore. I think it’s gone the way of letter writing.

Conversely, in this new disposable world in which we live, it does smart when you realize that there are some people you don’t hear from in real life because you no longer have a use. But I can’t control them. I can only control myself. Just like the people who literally only call to unload their lives, and with some of them you are waiting for them to simply ask you how your day is going.

Life evolves, and people with it. I merely wanted to simply say I appreciate the people in my world.

And I do.

But then there are things I do not appreciate.

One thing I do not appreciate is when someone randomly says to people that a donation in kind I made to a local non-profit vis-à-vis taking event photos at an event is something I was compensated for. I am not a Freddie Freeloader. I buy my own event tickets, sometimes even sponsorships in addition. Most recently I have done this for Surrey Services for Seniors. I sweated it out at their recent garden party friendraiser/fundraiser. I took hundreds of photos, and I think in the end, they got close to 350.

I was an “In Kind” partner as a matter of fact. I was not paid, it was volunteer. That amount of photos taken edited and delivered within a week can cost a non-profit thousands, depending upon the photographer. I used to be a second to a professionally trained photographer for weddings and big events. So in a sense I was this woman’s apprentice. I loved learning, and will never say I am other than a digital photographer who seconded a professional photographer. I do not shoot events professionally, what I do these days is for pleasure and as a donation. Friends, former friends, and frenemies have benefitted from my occasional assist.

I like taking photos at events because it gives me a break from small talk, honestly. I do not have the staying power for that these days as much as I used to, and I do not drink much. So it keeps me busy and moving around and having fun capturing moments of an event that are not staged or posed. People like having those memories. I also did this for Surrey at their Holiday House Tour, and for the 2024 event, I took photos as an additional donation, purchased four tickets, and a sponsorship. I paid and donated my way.

I used to do the same for quite a few years when the Tredyffrin Historic Preservation Trust was doing their fabulous house tours. I used to photograph the houses going on the tours from the exterior before the event and preview party. My love of cool old houses and churches is nothing new, it was heaven to do it. And my husband and I would buy tickets and be a sponsor. Like Surrey, it is an organization I believe in and a worthy cause. I was not paid to take photos, etc.

When I take photos at Life’s Patina events and do little videos, I am also not paid. I do it because we buy tickets to the event and love the events and non-profits they highlight. The team at Life’s Patina will tell you I also go for the felted mice.

Believe it or not, sometimes people do things for the right reasons and to pay it forward.

It’s like when people have tried to say I am a compensated blogger. I am not. I have never been a compensated blogger and in case none of you have ever noticed, I pay extra for this blog to NOT have ads.

Other things? Read on…or leave the post now….your choice.

Recently we placed an Uber Eats order. It was hot and no one felt like cooking. Our delivery person asked me if I wanted to sell my house when I opened the door to retrieve the order. And gave me a real estate flyer.

I was not rude to this person, and I have been in the past when unsolicited realtors have headed my way door knocking. But I have to tell you when you allow yourself the little luxury of delivered groceries or food, you should not be solicited for other things as well. It is creepy and unprofessional. And if we wanted to sell our home, do you really think we would choose a random delivery person?

Other things irritating includes when I am posting about something happening locally. And I am talking about and posting things that others should be posting about in their communities.

And they don’t like my opinion. So they castigate and criticize. Ok, well, I guess that is their right, but f they can do it better, write it better, why don’t they?

Other things I ponder are the reactions of women my age to the next chapter in the HBO MAX Sex in the City called And Just Like That. Not only the reactions, but the time they pour into the reactions.

OMG yes I am talking about a TV show. Get over yourselves.

I have finally had the lightbulb go off in my head about why women now who loved Sex in the City don’t like And Just Like That.

People expected the new series to be just like the old series, only that’s not possible because the story is not frozen in time, it’s fluid and people age. The actresses have aged, we the viewers have aged. And while the series still has the unrealistic to die for wardrobe/shoe/handbag/domiciles, the story line of the series has grown up. All of the women are encountering age-appropriate scenarios with partners, spouses, dates, coworkers and kids that actually happen, even if not necessarily to us or with Hollywood magic.

Life happens. And people have been talking about things that are awkward in this new series and it’s because they’re awkward when they are situations in real life as well.
Life happens and I had to laugh at the most recent episode with the Karaoke machine and Miranda’s painful attempt at “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” and then the landscape garden design guy singing “Bette Davis Eyes” – talk about a couple of songs that right out of my soundtrack of the 80s in my head…. and included in songs I played over and over.

The new series is covering middle age etc. None of us are 20 somethings anymore even if you are devoted to injectables and procedures and guess what? It’s ok. I actually prefer the current age in spite of irritating things like occasional joint pain. We are free to be ourselves without incrimination except occasionally from ourselves.

So three seasons in I still like the series. How long will it last? Who knows, but I’m enjoying it while it’s here….and the fashion and apartments etc that go with it.

But most of all I am laughing at the women who devote time every week to talking about the series like it is life and death. If you don’t enjoy it, don’t watch it. They are kind of like the people who announce they are leaving a Facebook group and never do.

And then can we talk again about social media and the people who freak out on your personal page if you are not to their expectations of what you should be posting about? Meanwhile people (women) are posting anonymously about who does the best vasectomy and that is normal? Alrighty.

Life is a meandering thing, for sure. What I am also discovering is how many people in the US seem completely down in the dumps 24/7/365. The solution in part? Watch less news. Either you voted for him or you didn’t and either way, there he sits ravaging democracy until elected officials wake up.

I have had some friends get snappish with me for sure because I don’t want to discuss this ad infinitum. Surprise! I can’t change it, I can only go on living and hope good will out int he end. But hey, you do you, and I will do me.

Speaking of me, the other amusing thing is I am 61. So I am at a stage in my life where I have worked my whole life and can slow down some. It doesn’t mean I am a worthless bobblehead. It’s a personal choice I have earned the right to make.

And that extends to interest or lack thereof in local issues. My job is not to cover all of your local issues. I am interested in what I am interested in, which is definitely not everything everyone else in interested in a lot of the time. People need to find their voices in their communities, except for maybe Willistown because it has gotten so crazy there again people are starting to wonder when the crews with the special white suits are going to show up and start carting people away.

So is this enough of a meander for you people on a July afternoon?

Happy Friday!