put a monogrammed grosgrain ribboned sock in it, martha.

martha

The faux W.A.S.P. from Nutley, NJ has gone too far this time.

Martha Stewart in an interview this week with Bloomberg news says (and I quote):

“Who are these bloggers? They are not trained editors at Vogue Magazine. I mean there are bloggers writing recipes that aren’t tested, that aren’t necessarily very good, or are copies of everything really good editors have created and done.

Sooo, bloggers, create kind of…ummmm popularity but they are not experts and we have to understand that.”

Martha, you lost me a long time ago and it did not even have to do with your jail stint.  Many moons ago when Martha Stewart Living first came out I was a devotee.  But then I discovered that everything you liked as a collectible so went up in price mere mortals couldn’t collect those items any longer.  An example? Antique oil lamps. When you plunked them in a magazine, and possibly on the cover many years ago the prices went up exponentially.  I stopped collecting them.  Same with every time you mentioned anything from transferware to pressed glass. Even vintage linens and quilts were untouchable for a while.

So you created an empire. As a woman I am cool with that. But you certainly are not without fault, and as a matter of fact I remember writing an email to your company years ago, because I, a mere mortal noted a glaring mistake in some recipe of yours I tried.  It was for the garden and roses, not the kitchen.  A spray with baking soda and what not in it.  Your proportions were incorrect. Naturally I never received a reply, because after all, you also invented the word “perfect”.

But Martha Stewart, you did not invent blogging.  And I am not even sure you really write your own blog all of the time because if you read it the writing voices often sound different and if you are a blogger like myself, you know that bloggers have individual voices and writing styles.

And you certainly did not invent the “whole category of lifestyle”.  There is no doubt you contributed to it, but lady, you did not invent it.  It existed before you, it will exist after you.

So why take pot shots at bloggers?  Afraid of a little competition? Afraid we are coming up with ideas and recipes that are better than what you have to offer and we can do it without attitude?

I take an exception to what you said to Bloomberg and am amused at the same time.  The Vogue reference, for example.  When were you an editor at Vogue?  Martha Helen Kostyra Stewart you have done well for yourself, but wow, Queen Elizabeth the first you are not.

I get that you are a long way now from your humble roots in Jersey City, NJ and Nutley, NJ and one of the things I used to like about you was your mother.  Now she was cool and fun to learn from when you had her on your TV show and weren’t afraid of an old Polish woman stealing your spotlight. You married well and became an instant W.A.S.P. just add water.  In my neck of the woods women like you used to be referred to as social-climbing gold diggers, but I won’t be rude and I digress.

But when it comes to bloggers aren’t experts, who said we all were?  I am only an expert in my own world. I am not Martha Stewart or the Pope, after all.  But I will put my gardening prowess and kitchen skills up against you any day.

To say home cooks who blog do not test their recipes and they are copies of I assume YOUR recipes and aren’t very good, well who died and made you Julia Child, my dear?  I can’t speak for all bloggers, but I can tell you MY recipes are tested in MY kitchen before I share any of them and they are MY own recipes.  Most of the time I don’t even write them down. And I know my recipes work because too many people have tried them and oh yeah, I am even in the Epicurious Cookbook.

I sat and listened to you pimp for several retailers in your Bloomberg interview and as I listened to you trash talk everyone who did not kiss the hem of your royal garment I realized what a lot of this is about: you are getting OLD Martha.  “Work”, dermatological fillers, and a clever but classic wardrobe can’t cover the fact that you are a long time from your salad days, aren’t you?

Poor, poor Martha.  Like an aging cat with clumps of fur coming out here and there, you claw at the world desperately trying to keep the throne you seem to have become accustomed to.  The only thing is, you are a legend mostly in your own mind at this point.  I mean I knew you were desperate when you did Match.com on the Today Show. 

Here is a hint Martha: apologize and don’t wear so many Hillary Clinton-esque pant suits. Or put a grosgrain monogrammed sock in that big mouth of yours.

And you can kiss my blogging behind.  As opposed to you I am not running for some popularity contest, I write about what I want, when I want….for me.  I love a lot of the old-fashioned house wifely things you used to extol. I love hunting for cool things like vintage linens and I like to cook, garden, and keep house.  And I am very good at it.  But why I do it is a little different from you.  I do these things because they bring me and those I love pleasure.

You see Martha, it is the simple pleasures in life that you cannot take for granted.  We will all age, you apparently are having issues doing it gracefully.

So Martha, just shut up.

For more on Martha Invents the blogosphere read:

Babble: Oh, Martha Stewart. Why Did You Go and Get the Bloggers Mad?

By SunnyChanel |  October 16th, 2013 at 2:00 pm

 

Mail Online: ‘I started this whole category of lifestyle’: Martha Stewart dismisses  homemaking rival Gwyneth Paltrow’s GOOP

By  Daily Mail Reporter PUBLISHED: 15:06 EST, 15  October 2013 |  UPDATED: 15:34 EST, 15 October 2013

Bloomberg TV:   Martha Stewart Speaks Out: Bloggers Are Not Experts

Martha Stewart declares that she ‘started this whole category of lifestyle’

Babble: Here’s Why Martha Stewart Is Trash Talking Bloggers    By cecilyk |  October 16th, 2013 at 4:47 pm

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