So. Are women really liberated?
Yes, I am serious. I was thinking about it last night and this morning. And no, I am not and never have been a text-book definition of a “women’s libber”. Unless speaking my mind and being somewhat independent minded make me one?
As history likes to tell it, The Women’s Liberation Movement was a political alignment of women and feminist intellectualism that emerged in the late 1960s. This movement was heavy into consciousness awakening and if you follow the historical timeline, grew out of civil rights. The predecessor movement was the women’s suffrage movement of the early 20th century which enabled women by their hard work to obtain the right to vote. All of this had roots in a theory that social freedom was necessary for women to no longer be second class citizens.
And we were. But I have to ask if we are to an extent today or is it just a weird feeling because so much seems to be regressing right now?
Yesterday I wrote a post about politics and the mid-term elections which occur next week. The post centered around one writer’s article and another’s editorial. Interestingly enough, a lot of the greatest umbrage taken by my thoughts added to what others had written were from other women.
One woman said I was endorsing specific political platforms and vis-a-vis candidates because I suggested people read these pieces because I found them interesting. She went onto basically describe me as reprehensible for doing so. I wasn’t telling anyone how to vote, I said it was an interesting read and what I was thinking about. They said specifically ““Well worth taking the time to read” is a political endorsement. Your message is not sharing information but suggesting endorsement of a political view that many in Chester County find reprehensible.”
The second woman came in via a rather strange comment and said : “You most likely have lost me as a follower. You sucked me in with Chester County Ramblings. I have enjoyed your writings over the past few years, until today. I want to hear about the history and happenings in the county that I adore. One thing I sure do not want to read are your political ramblings, pro, con, undecided or what you color you are wearing today. If this is route you plan to continue in your Chester County Ramblings, count me out. Ruined a good thing.” (I am guessing she missed the part where I write for myself and what interests me? Or that no one is compelled to read every little thing they stumble across?)
This is the stuff that blows my mind. The pretzel logic here is women are supposed to be free and liberated now for decades and allowed to express their opinions as long as their thoughts are sanitized with bubble water so everyone can float along on fluffy blue clouds?
So are women really free if other women feel the need to tear us down because we express our opinions and/or have an opinion they don’t care for?
This is some of what I was thinking about when I was in my garden working on my flower beds this morning. It amazes me how quick women are to tear other women down. That has always amazed me. It’s so…well…high school. If you do not conform to someone else’s comfortable notions you are bad.
Take an article which appeared in The Daily Local this summer about The Women’s Lib Barn:
….The Keegans plan on staying in the home they’ve loved for the past 50 years and have no plans on removing the unique message. They’ve had people ask about the barn, including a woman who recently asked for permission to make a painting of it, though they found it annoying when some bloggers posted stories on the barn without having all the facts.
“People today don’t understand it, they think all of a sudden it appeared. They don’t know it’s from the ‘70s,” Ronnie said.
“It isn’t women, it’s woman,” she stressed. “It’s my statement.”
I am guessing the lady is referring to this blog? What I have posted is what I have found elsewhere about their barn, including old articles but it got all lumped together seemingly at me? That baffles me. Her barn is literally one of my favorites if not my favorite because it is quirky with its painted statement .
This barn was even part of my photography show at Christopher’s in Malvern a few years back in 2015. She sent me a note because one of my photos hung was of her barn. And to kind of criticize me for changing the meaning (in her mind) by cutting off the question mark at the end of her statement. (Well truthfully it wasn’t cut off, I did canvas prints and it was wrapped around the side.)
She invited me to come sit on her porch and she would tell me the story. I emailed her back promptly to say I would love to hear about how the barn came to be the woman’s lib barn and that I would also love to give her the photo…and I never heard another thing. I followed up again, and then just sort of thought “oh well” and went about my life. And then the reference to me (I presume) in the 2018 article someone I know wrote for the Daily Local. And then I again wondered if women were really liberated or just liberated enough to criticize other women?
Now when I ponder things like this, I do not extricate myself from the woman equation. I can be as guilty as the next woman in the criticism of other women category. But it does make me think again and again what are we liberated from exactly?
As time goes by and the seasons fold into one and other, I grow more at home here in Chester County and love the feeling of belonging. I kind of love that I have shed my Main Line skin and enjoy the simplicity and beauty I have found. I love my garden, my little house, my family. The thing about Chester County which I have never felt anyplace else in my life is I can just be. Maybe it’s an age thing where I now realize I do not have to live up to everyone’s expectations, nor do I want to.
Yet occasionally I pause and ponder and marvel at the boxes women are still expected to be put into…even by other women. Like is the case with this blog and some of what I write. If it’s my blog and I am the writer, aren’t I supposed to write about what I think about or enjoy or dislike? I am not a compensated blog, so I am not paid for my writing in this format of this blog.
I also wonder if my younger self was more of less free and liberated? Does this all vary with age and responsibility?
I accept that I am not everyone’s cup of tea. It’s impossible to be that person because we are all different and it should be o.k. to be yourself not a mirror image of every other person around you.
Like many other women I find it irritating when people contact you just so you can tell your husband something for them. Every time it happens I imagine myself as a 1950s housewife complete with apron and starched hair.
Or then there are the occasions when you are having work done inside our outside of your home. I have had those who preferred to speak only to my husband. Not because I couldn’t grasp the tasks at hand but because they wanted to deal with a man.
This summer I wrote a post “life in the land of women” – it seems this post has been a continuation of that so I will close with what I said then:
We can’t teach tolerance if we can’t be tolerant at least some of the time ourselves.
We can’t teach the value of individuality and independance if we constantly go after those the least bit different from us.
Are we really free if we are confined by the perceptions of others?