2024 is here. I turn 60 this year. I am not particularly upset by this thought, but I feel like the rest of my life…. was just yesterday. Life does go fast. When I was 47 I wondered if I would get this far, that was the year of my breast cancer diagnosis. I am not being morbid or negative, it’s just something I thought about back then, and remembered today.

I have been doing this blog since 2012. That is 3,730 posts ago. That’s kind of astounding to me. I wondered if I would run out of things to talk about, but I haven’t. People like to criticize what I write about, and that does include at times people I actually know, not merely keyboard warriors. But then criticism will often end when someone then thinks I can be of use. They don’t get there is being of use and being of service. I will leave that right there.

I am still not a compensated blogger. That means I don’t run ads and I am not paid for my blog pieces or articles or whatever you want to call them. People still don’t get that a blogger and traditional media are not one and the same. Some of my favorite mentors are traditional journalists, a lot of whom are now retired. I am fortunate to have them in my life.

2023 was an eye opener of experiences for a lot of us, not just your friendly neighborhood blogger. I personally noted things about the human species I wish I hadn’t at times. Which brings me to new year, new thoughts.

I know some people who are struggling. The reason they are struggling is a combination of alcoholism as self medication for other things, as well as other things. After consulting with people I know who are sober living humans, I have made the conscious decision not to enable them. However, my decision while made in love and the best intentions has not been popular in some quarters. It could cost me these long term relationships, but I have to not continue to say the behaviors are ok. I get that people struggle, but those of us who live knowing these people can’t always pick up the pieces, smooth things over, or take the abuse that a combination of alcohol and mental health issues can generate. It’s not fair. It’s not right and it is not doing any of these people or anyone who cares about them any favors. These people are not family, but they matter to me, and I hope they find their way and don’t become a statistic.

None of us have led perfect existences. I have never pretended to be other than a human being, flaws and all. I still keep a gratitude jar. I have written about keeping one several times before. It is not full of anything particularly profound, just when the spirit moves me, I add a thought. Like today. There but for the grace of God go I. That is my thought today.

Other things include people in my orbit, life, world, whatever that I don’t think value me. There are people in all of our lives for whom we will drop everything for, especially when they need to talk, who don’t exactly reciprocate. Life is not about tit for tat, but after a while feeling invisible? Well that hurts. I experienced that in 2023, and I didn’t care for it. 

2023 was a year with lots of moving parts for us as a family and me as a person. It was also a year of loss. Family and friends who left this earthly plane. Medical stuff involving surgery. I appreciate who was there for me and for us a great deal. But there are some who kind of were not. Is this terminal to a relationship? I don’t think so, I hope not, but it gives me pause. And when people give me pause, I give them space. I don’t want to fight, I don’t want to argue, but I don’t want to feel bad either. I don’t do bullshit well. Never have. It’s a character flaw I suppose.

One person hadn’t been in touch in over a year. Heard from them as they were planning an event. I told them we couldn’t this year because I had a post skin cancer reconstructive surgery the morning after the event under general anesthesia and I was really sorry. Never heard from them again, not to see how I fared, or at Christmas. It was like my use was over. That made me feel really crappy truth be told because it was someone I would drop everything for if they asked.

And then there are the people who don’t say thank you. That’s all, just a simple thank you. If you put out the effort to do something for them or to help them, it’s just a simple thing that is appreciated. I get that people get wrapped up in their own lives, but sometimes there is a world going on outside of that, isn’t there? 2023 saw this a few times. And again, it was with people that I would always stop whatever I was doing if they needed someone. I thought that was what friends did.

When you have a use, people remember you. When you are of less use, more human being, sometimes not so much. The flip side is, just because I do something I shouldn’t expect them to do the same.

2024 and my 60th year on planet earth in a few months means putting myself first a little more. It means learning to say no thank you to what I do not actually care for or don’t want to do. It means saying when something bothers me and not bottling it up to be polite all of the time. It means sometimes it will be all about me and that is perfectly acceptable. It means another year as a bloggeress not suffering fools lightly.

Life is like a tide: in and out against the shore. Sometimes calm, sometimes stormy. I prefer calm seas…and pretty gardens.

Happy 2024!