The Surrey Services Holiday House Tour completed their second successful year this past December. I am a proud supporter of this tour and it was magical, and my friends enjoyed themselves tremendously.
I have written about Surrey before and it is a particular favorite non-profit of mine. They quite literally do good things.
This year I was one of the photographers of the event as well as a tour attendee and sponsor. I have to be honest, it was one of the most fun events I have photographed in years. Why? Number one it was pretty, and secondly, there was no artifice to the attendees. People were there because they wanted to be, and the joy on attendees’ faces as they went from location to location and finally to lunch and the shops showed you how great of a day it was.
And I will give a little feedback of my own, having been on 2 years of tours.
First of all, Surrey Services knocks themselves out for this. The staff and volunteers could not ben nicer. And this event has a lot of moving parts. They work hard.
The shops were even better than last year, and last year they were fabulous. The shops I think have found a perfect home at St. David’s Church, and I hope they secure this location for next year. The one thing I will repeat which I stated last year, is the people who have subscribed for the entire day (tour/lunch/shops) should have dibs on parking. They should have people at the shops location at the parking lot entrances to direct patrons, with again, dibs on parking being given to entire event subscribers. And they need to have volunteers literally check the lots for people inventing a parking space where none exists, people not handicapped taking handicap spaces just to go shop, and those who feel the need to take up multiple parking spaces with one vehicle. This is NOT Surrey’s fault, it’s the simple fact that humans can be selfish.
The homes this year were wonderful. My feedback is the homes which were enjoyed the most were the homes where they followed the assignment: that this was a holiday house tour. I think some might feel that decorating for the holidays might be a wee bit passé, or clash with the interior design, or they are a bit fearful of holiday decorating. Look, that is what the patrons are signing up for. No matter what holidays you celebrate, as long as it isn’t a lawn full of blow up figures that are the stuff nightmares can be made of, decorate for the holidays. We aren’t only here to see the interior design, we are there for the Christmas and holiday of it all.
I also need to comment on the fact that the tour goers need to remove their floor protective booties between houses. If you don’t, then it defeats the purpose of wearing the booties to keep from dragging dirt into these beautiful homes. The other reason is just practical: if you don’t take the time to remove them, you are creating a slip and fall risk for yourself and we saw that when we go to St. David’s for the shops and lunch. A woman who still had her booties on in the parking lot at St. David’s slipped and fell.
My two favorite houses were in Bryn Mawr and one of the Wayne houses. They were not only spectacular houses, but they let their holiday spirits fly and the love showed. Those were the homes people connected with and you could see people trying to figure out if they could create a similar look. They were inspirational.
Technically Christmas can stay up until epiphany, so I hope you all are still enjoying at least some of your holiday decorations still.
I am sharing some of my favorite moments of the Surrey tour this year.
I look forward to next year’s tour and a big thank you to Surrey and the homeowners who shared their holidays with us!
I try to keep my mouth shut on this topic of a certain bloviator’s latest series of smelly social media farts , but I think I am just done.
Bigly done.
Let’s get this into perspective:
Celebrities and politicians and public figures always and every election season come out on one side or the other. It’s nothing new…except to a malignant narcissist who always has to be the great bloviator in the room.
It’s literally like he can’t believe a woman said “no.”
As we all watch a candidate for President in the United States of America seeming sink further and further into this abyss of crazy, I don’t understand how anyone can think he’s the one? How is he even a choice?
A woman said no and this is what a normal 78 year old man does? And Republicans are ok with his slut shaming? That is exactly what he’s doing while attempting his own twisted harassing cancel culture, and again people are ok with this?
It’s crazy.
It’s like we’re waiting for the resurrection of Jim Jones and special Kool Aid. The Republican Party has been completely polluted. That became complete when his sounds like a goat caterwauling when singing daughter in law became co-chair. And his camp follower for this campaign so far seems to be another nutbag who likes plastic surgery too much named Laura Loomer, all while his wife is noticeably absent from everything.
The reality of this election for me is truly what it all means for me as a woman. This election is also all part of a much bigger picture. This election is also about the simple right to be ourselves at its most basic.
I’m not going to tell people how I think they should vote, but I am telling people why I am voting for Kamala Harris.
That nasty old man doesn’t care about any of us, and he never makes anything better. This is like a giant game show for him. I have never liked game shows.
If you really value our constitution and inalienable rights, I don’t see how anyone can consider him. If you are a student of US and world history, I don’t see how you can consider him.
The haters will come out of the closet now, I’m sure and it will leave me with one final point to ponder: why are so many afraid of the musings and opinions of independent minded women?
2024 is here. I turn 60 this year. I am not particularly upset by this thought, but I feel like the rest of my life…. was just yesterday. Life does go fast. When I was 47 I wondered if I would get this far, that was the year of my breast cancer diagnosis. I am not being morbid or negative, it’s just something I thought about back then, and remembered today.
I have been doing this blog since 2012. That is 3,730 posts ago. That’s kind of astounding to me. I wondered if I would run out of things to talk about, but I haven’t. People like to criticize what I write about, and that does include at times people I actually know, not merely keyboard warriors. But then criticism will often end when someone then thinks I can be of use. They don’t get there is being of use and being of service. I will leave that right there.
I am still not a compensated blogger. That means I don’t run ads and I am not paid for my blog pieces or articles or whatever you want to call them. People still don’t get that a blogger and traditional media are not one and the same. Some of my favorite mentors are traditional journalists, a lot of whom are now retired. I am fortunate to have them in my life.
2023 was an eye opener of experiences for a lot of us, not just your friendly neighborhood blogger. I personally noted things about the human species I wish I hadn’t at times. Which brings me to new year, new thoughts.
I know some people who are struggling. The reason they are struggling is a combination of alcoholism as self medication for other things, as well as other things. After consulting with people I know who are sober living humans, I have made the conscious decision not to enable them. However, my decision while made in love and the best intentions has not been popular in some quarters. It could cost me these long term relationships, but I have to not continue to say the behaviors are ok. I get that people struggle, but those of us who live knowing these people can’t always pick up the pieces, smooth things over, or take the abuse that a combination of alcohol and mental health issues can generate. It’s not fair. It’s not right and it is not doing any of these people or anyone who cares about them any favors. These people are not family, but they matter to me, and I hope they find their way and don’t become a statistic.
None of us have led perfect existences. I have never pretended to be other than a human being, flaws and all. I still keep a gratitude jar. I have written about keeping one several times before. It is not full of anything particularly profound, just when the spirit moves me, I add a thought. Like today. There but for the grace of God go I. That is my thought today.
Other things include people in my orbit, life, world, whatever that I don’t think value me. There are people in all of our lives for whom we will drop everything for, especially when they need to talk, who don’t exactly reciprocate. Life is not about tit for tat, but after a while feeling invisible? Well that hurts. I experienced that in 2023, and I didn’t care for it.
2023 was a year with lots of moving parts for us as a family and me as a person. It was also a year of loss. Family and friends who left this earthly plane. Medical stuff involving surgery. I appreciate who was there for me and for us a great deal. But there are some who kind of were not. Is this terminal to a relationship? I don’t think so, I hope not, but it gives me pause. And when people give me pause, I give them space. I don’t want to fight, I don’t want to argue, but I don’t want to feel bad either. I don’t do bullshit well. Never have. It’s a character flaw I suppose.
One person hadn’t been in touch in over a year. Heard from them as they were planning an event. I told them we couldn’t this year because I had a post skin cancer reconstructive surgery the morning after the event under general anesthesia and I was really sorry. Never heard from them again, not to see how I fared, or at Christmas. It was like my use was over. That made me feel really crappy truth be told because it was someone I would drop everything for if they asked.
And then there are the people who don’t say thank you. That’s all, just a simple thank you. If you put out the effort to do something for them or to help them, it’s just a simple thing that is appreciated. I get that people get wrapped up in their own lives, but sometimes there is a world going on outside of that, isn’t there? 2023 saw this a few times. And again, it was with people that I would always stop whatever I was doing if they needed someone. I thought that was what friends did.
When you have a use, people remember you. When you are of less use, more human being, sometimes not so much. The flip side is, just because I do something I shouldn’t expect them to do the same.
2024 and my 60th year on planet earth in a few months means putting myself first a little more. It means learning to say no thank you to what I do not actually care for or don’t want to do. It means saying when something bothers me and not bottling it up to be polite all of the time. It means sometimes it will be all about me and that is perfectly acceptable. It means another year as a bloggeress not suffering fools lightly.
Life is like a tide: in and out against the shore. Sometimes calm, sometimes stormy. I prefer calm seas…and pretty gardens.
Well here we are. 2023 is about to become a memory. 2024 is knocking at our doors.
Time flies.
Life happens while you are making other plans.
Auld lang syne.
This is the year I turn 60. That is almost inconceivable to me. Women aren’t supposed to admit their age. But why? Why can’t we be honest and embrace it?
So am I now old enough to admit I really don’t give a damn about New Year’s Eve parties?
I came across this poem of Jeff Buckley’ today’s. I don’t quite know what to make of it, but here it is:
Like a lot of his music, it’s kind of abstract. But in this disjointed world in which we now live but he will never know, does it fit? Not sure. Like I said not sure what to make of it. (But then again I could never decide if I liked his music or not, although I once knew people who were *obsessed* with it.)
What will 2024 bring us? Will we all be living the fractured fairy tail that is the USA? Probably since we are going into another rather depressing Presidential election cycle. And no one has put the National Grifter in jail. It’s like those who could deal with him are all claiming to be a little bit preggers here.
All we need to ever remember is January 6th, 2021. And if people vote for him again and his greed and political bullshit aren’t dismantled and put away for good, Americans will get what America couldn’t come together and deal with productively. It’s all great if people posture one way or the other all over social media, but if people don’t get out and vote him down?
I predict this will be once again the lesser of two evils election come the fall of 2024. That’s a shitty way to be governed don’t you think?
And Chester County Democratic Committee? Kindly cut the crap and ditch Grandma Charlotte and current leadership early in 2024. If you don’t, it’s not a question of if but when you all will ruin what you worked so hard to achieve.
And Chester County Republican Committee? Quit pandering to extremism groups and saying you aren’t. It’s kind of like gun sale raffle tickets on election day, or very obvious. And background check your candidates, even for school board unless you will love you some more fake “professors”, for example? Or how about ditching the perpetual no-win candidates who seem to run for everything, not do their own campaign work, and drive the campaigns of your few good candidates crazy? You actually had some good candidates who suffered because of your less than stellar candidates.
My ultimate wish for politics? Not whomever gets all of the toys wins, but balance. Our country was founded on balance and a two party system. Once again I will remark how the politics of extremism is ruining quite a bit, even basic interpersonal relationships. I have been saying this for a few years, and oh the criticism I receive. Whatever. I still think I am correct.
Chester County Municipalities in 2024? All I wish for is more “sunshine” and transparency, far less development, and more historic preservation.
Ahh social media, what will you bring us in 2024? In 2023 you bought me a self-branded public figure who decided to complain to the police about this blog, although I did truly nothing except mock a public figure and offer my opinion. And when you self proclaim you are a local celebrity and public figure? I just don’t know. Or the guy with the penchant for writing on campaign signs, and a what else do you call it other than a mail order bride 40 years his junior and a penchant for odd public Tik Tok video things only no one is supposed to ever say anything?
As we exit 2023 we can but marvel at so much the past 12 months?
From faux boutique owners that didn’t pay their Main Line bills, to running a century old furniture business into the ground through greed and chicanery, to wondering if tumbleweeds will fit in over at the old Pete’s Produce in Westtown, to living in fear over Danelo Cavalcante at large, to the craziness of Chester County politics (like raffle tickets for guns on election day poll tables) from both sides of the aisle (you can run for office as a Democrat in a primary but only if pre-ordained), it’s amazing we are all still standing isn’t it? And wait we didn’t even get to all of the development did we?
And social media, you’ve been exceptionally special all 2023. Yesterday I read a post by a woman in a social media group that struck me as raw and honest and describing the behavior of people that no one should aspire to and yet so many didn’t get it or wanted to tell her how she should feel:
EDITED: It’s not about new money, old money, or no money at all. The crux of the matter is discrimination, irrespective of one’s financial background. Focusing on creating an environment free from bias and treating everyone with dignity is the essence of this conversation.
So, my husband’s been cruising along in his career, and my business is holding its own too. Life’s comfy, but stepping into those fancy boutiques on the Main Line can throw a curveball.
It’s like I’ve got my own fan club following me around, especially when I just want to try on a pair of shoes. One shoe at a time, the other under lock and key – it’s almost like I’m on a secret mission. And the “Can I help you?” questions never quit, even when I’m broadcasting the “I’m good” vibes.
Supporting local businesses is a vibe I’m all for, but it gets tricky when you feel like you’re a fish out of water. Sometimes, I find myself hitting up big box stores just to dodge the whole vibe.
Here’s the kicker: recently, I’m trying on some clothes, and the salesperson pops the question, “Where are you from?” I say Malvern, and they hit me with a “No, I meant, like, what are you?” It’s moments like these that make you wonder if everyone’s just reading from a different script.
It’s not about expecting red carpet treatment because of success – it’s about wanting a fair shake. Sharing stories like this, maybe we can nudge things toward a more equal and inclusive shopping scene. Ever had one of those moments where you just wanted fair treatment, no strings attached?
I totally get where this woman is coming from. If you have experienced anything like this it is just sort of surreal no matter what the reason. And again, so many of the people who responded didn’t actually even get what she was saying. I got it. And I say that as a middle aged white woman who grew up on the Main Line. When you experience these special people, it leaves a spot. It’s just a terrible feeling before anyone dissects it to anything else.
One experience I had that was unpleasant was an antique/resale store in Wayne. I had been at Penn Medicine in Radnor having undergone a Mohs surgery for squamous cell skin cancer on my cheek. That meant, yes I had a small diagonal bandage on my left cheek. Squamous cell is in between basal cell and melanoma for those who are curious. So I was dressed down, not wearing rags and nice but not flashy jewelry and a nice handbag.
Ever since breast cancer, when I have a successful cancer procedure (and now there have been a few) I get myself a treat. I parked and went into the store. I was the ONLY customer with 3 or 4 sales women behind the desk. I wandered around for at least 20 minutes. All of those women knew I was there. They literally stared at me. I smiled at them. Not one said “hello” or “if we can help, let us know.” Nothing. I saw one thing that interested me, I said “excuse me, can you help me?” None of those women looked up. I left and have never been back.
Another true tale is years ago I worked at a now defunct plant nursery. The owner was a chain smoking, socially ambitious and wincingly unpleasant widow of the original owner. Let’s start with if someone she thought was a single man came into the business and they looked like they had a coin or two, because I was single I would literally get sent to the warehouse so she could have her single daughter wait on them. It was like warped Cinderella. It didn’t bother me, just made me laugh.
But what didn’t make me laugh back then there was the way they often treated this very, very old lady who would drive up in this ancient beast of a station wagon. Her clothes were neat and clean but threadbare. They were miserable to her, almost rude. Condescending. To them she didn’t look the part of the Main Line. She was just a little old lady who still liked flowers and plants sometimes. I liked this old lady named Miss Collins and I didn’t even know who she was or all the great things she had accomplished in her life until one day, many many years later, I read her obituary.
Miss Collins, also known as Margaret Hill Collins was instrumental in getting Fair Housing laws in the suburban Philadelphia area as well as being a birthright Quaker from a very old Philadelphia family. She also worked tirelessly towards race relations. She went to the U.S. Supreme Court and won in 1973. She was from an old Philadelphia and Main Line family that would mean nothing to new settlers of the Main Line today, but her family property is today part of Bryn Mawr College. Swarthmore, Haverford and Bryn Mawr Colleges maintain her papers.
Back to social media. Social media seems to rule too many lives. We are all guilty of spending too much time on it sometimes. As a blogger, I am often caught in the swirling black hearted vortex of it all, usually because someone somewhere has decided I am an evil horrible person who should only regurgitate unicorns farting rainbows. Lordy, that sounds like it would be exhausting, so I opt for just being me. Undoubtedly in 2024 I will continue to be amused by the people who seem so obsessed over what one woman (me) thinks. I am not anything other than an ordinary woman. Might I suggest gardening for what ails them?
2023 has been a year that has been trying to many on personal levels. It seems like all of us experienced loss this year. The cycle of life has it’s ups and downs, it’s all how you muddle through it. Some days it is just that: muddling through and you know what? It’s ok.
I never have pretended to be a perfect person, or to have led a perfect life. I am, at the end of every day, always just myself. I know I am lucky to be able to be just me. I am lucky to love an be loved. I am fortunate in family, friends, and a loving life partner in my husband who was rather late to dinner Saturday evening because at the end of the day he helped a man whose name he didn’t even learn, get his car started so he could get home to his pregnant wife in Massachusetts.
For 2024, I wish people peace. I wish people good health. And I actually wish people love. The ability to love, be loved, and love themselves. I wish for less phony bullshit. And for God’s sake get off of social media once in a while, and learn the actual history of where you call home.
