Tag Archives: christmas

scrooge, still a timely character. file under: life lessons for christmas.

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Ebenezer Scrooge. One of the most remembered characters in literature. Created by Charles Dickens in the 19th century for A Christmas Carol.

A Christmas Carol was published December 19, 1843. 179 years ago this year. And the characters are still relevant today…179 years later.

The most recognizable and remembered of the characters is Scrooge. Also his clerk, Bob Cratchit. In his time Bob was the symbol in Victorian England of the overworked, essentially abused working class person. Long hours, low pay. The irony of course? This also sounds like today, doesn’t it?

In a Christmas Carol the Ghost of Christmas Present debunks Ebenezer Scrooge’s “un Christian” beliefs on religion and the “sabbath” in the context of business. This ghost also talks about how many people who claim a religious justification for their actions, yet in reality live literally not getting or caring about the true meaning of Christianity. Sort of a do as I say, not as I do thing and utter hypocrisy. Now today, we experience that hypocrisy of true Christians every day. You know like Stepford Wives for Totalitarianism and their ilk?

In any event this ghost thinks man should judge morality by the deed, not by how a man doing describes/labels his actions. Under the robe of the Ghost of Christmas Present are two ragged spirit figures. They are supposed to be like starving children.

The identities of the sprit figures are “Ignorance and Want.” I have never been sure that was other than the proverbial metaphorically speaking of it all: this ghost cares for these children because society, or man, should care for ignorance and want always, and not just talk about it. For the good of mankind.

There are some on this earth of yours… who lay claim to know us, and who do their deeds of passion, pride, ill-will, hatred, envy, bigotry, and selfishness in our name, who are as strange to us and all our kith and kin, as if they had never lived. Remember that, and charge their doings on themselves, not us….they cling to me, appealing from their fathers. The boy is Ignorance. The girl is Want. Beware of them both, and all of their degree, but most of all beware this boy, for on his brow I see that written which is Doom, unless the writing be erased.

~ghost of christmas present in a christmas carol

I started thinking about the metaphors in Dickens’ A Christmas Carol again a few years ago, when I read this article in The Guardian, a U.K. paper. I was able to find it again:

The Guardian: Ignorance and Want: why Charles Dickens’s A Christmas Carol is as relevant today as ever

By Chris Priestley
Wed 23 Dec 2015

…A Christmas Carol is more than just a story. It is a tirade against greed, selfishness and neglect. It uses the story of a rich man – the startlingly nasty Scrooge – to highlight the plight of those affected by the greed and meanness he exemplifies.

The famous child in A Christmas Carol is poor “Tiny” Tim Cratchit but there are two others. When Scrooge meets the Ghost of Christmas Present, he is shocked when two wild and ragged children tumble out from the giant’s robes.

He thinks they must belong to the giant, but he tells Scrooge that they are Man’s. He tells him the boy is called Ignorance and the girl Want.

“Beware them both, and all of their degree, but most of all beware this boy…”

Every Christmas through the 70s (I was now on a council estate in Newcastle where snow was more familiar), the BBC showed an Oscar-winning animated version of the story by Richard Williams, with Alistair Sim voicing Scrooge. It is beautifully animated in a style that evokes the John Leech illustrations from the original publication, but whereas the children are fairly bland creations in those engravings, here they are snarling beasts. I was – and remain – fascinated by them.

It is a brief moment in the story but surely a key moment – and a big part of why the story is still so relevant. Ignorance and Want remain the prime movers behind so many of the worlds ills….But Dickens was having a go at his complacent readers – he was chastising them about their own ignorance…

 

A Christmas Carol is actually life lessons wrapped in a Victorian Christmas story. Allow me to liberally quote an article by a professor at Indiana University named Richard Gunderman in a publication called The Conversation:

…The story begins on Christmas Eve. The “grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous old sinner” Ebenezer Scrooge is toiling in his office, where he turns away two fundraisers seeking to provide for the poor, rudely rebuffs his nephew Fred’s invitation to Christmas dinner and berates his underpaid clerk, Bob Cratchit, for expecting to get Christmas Day off with pay.

At home that night, Scrooge is visited by the ghost of his partner Jacob Marley, who “died seven years ago, this very night.” Now wandering the earth dragging heavy chains forged by his own avarice, Marley warns Scrooge that he will meet the same fate if he does not listen to the three spirits who will visit him during the night.

The first of the spirits, the Ghost of Christmas Past, takes Scrooge to scenes from his earlier life, where he is reminded that he was once a kinder and gentler person….

he reexperiences what it is like to be lonely at the holidays until he is rescued by his sister. He then visits the holiday party of his employer, Mr Fezziwig, who despite modest means embodies the spirit of celebration.

He then sees his younger self with his fiancée Belle, to whom he intended to devote the rest of his life, until he was gradually overmastered by the love of money. Belle eventually breaks their engagement and marries another man, whose large and happy family Christmas the ghost takes Scrooge to witness.

The Ghost of Christmas Present whisks Scrooge to celebrations of Christmas in different settings throughout the land. They then travel to the home of Fred, who valiantly defends his uncle against criticism, choosing to pity rather than condemn him. Then Scrooge finds himself at the modest holiday feast of the Cratchit family, where he meets Tiny Tim, their ailing youngest child, and learns that unless the course of events changes, this will be the boy’s last Christmas. Finally, the ghost shows Scrooge two starving children, Ignorance and Want…The ghost of Christmas Yet to Come transports Scrooge to the holiday one year later, where he witnesses the reactions of various people to the recent death of a “wretched man.” A businessman states that he will attend the funeral only if a lunch is provided, and various people sell stolen items from the dead man’s estate to a fence. The only people who feel any emotion at his passing are debtors who now have more time to repay their loans. After returning to the Cratchit home, where Scrooge sees the family mourning the passing of Tiny Tim, he is taken to a neglected grave, where to his horror, he sees the name Ebenezer Scrooge.

Dickens was always about teaching us lessons. Read any article about A Christmas Carol especially, and you will see that it is a cautionary tale wrapped in a tale of redemption. Dickens refers to the lessons of the present to see the effects on the present and into the future. He also makes us think about how the past influences it all.

That should give you chills, because this is so very true today. And it’s that old thing about ignoring the past means we are doomed to repeat terrible things. That is why some history, although unpleasant, should not be made to disappear. Look what the dumbing down of America has currently given us. If we don’t persist in being and doing better, where will we all end up?

I have felt this way since before the onset of our COVID-19 world view existence. But COVID and the Trump years and Trump mentality have definitely thrown us into a post Victorian world that once again shows the vast chasms of life between the haves and the have nots.

We live in a world full of exceedingly selfish and mean people a lot of the time. That is not being a Debbie Downer, as anyone in corporate America and they will tell you it’s a harsh and true reality.

Take this time of the year, for example. It’s the time of year when employees receive year end bonuses. Only that is at the discretion, more like whim, of corporate overlords. I have remarked before about the year of the canned Polish Ham or a box of chocolates that then Prudential Securities offered hard working sales assistants, other support staff, and operations personnel in the early to mid 80s while the stock brokers all got fat, monetary bonuses. I know it happened, because I was literally there. Essentially all of the people who slaved to make brokers look good, got the short end of the stick. If you were lucky a broker gave you a monetary bonus, but it was not a requirement.

Total Scrooge moments, indeed back then.

Then there was always working in an office where the proverbial office pets got bonuses, and the rest? Nothing. It didn’t matter how hard you worked, you were just forgotten. You got to watch as others received bonuses, as you were deliberately overlooked. Yet another Scrooge moment, but then you figure Karma is a bitch and everything that goes around will come around eventually. The universe is funny and true that way. Oh wait, another Dickens lesson, correct?

And then there were the generous and kind bosses. I had a few of those over the years. They remembered Christmas and the actual spirit of the season. If not with a monetary bonus, then a nice gift. I wonder, do those bosses still really and truly exist?

But there will always be the bosses who will Bob Cratchit as many as possible, whenever possible. For them, it is always how much money they can make, and everyone else is well, kind of expendable. I do believe those people will indeed have a reckoning. We may never see it, but it will happen. These are a lot of the people who end up terribly alone…wait for it….like Ebenezer Scrooge.

The holidays are supposed to be pleasant, and while business might always be business, it seems like today more than ever you hear these tales of being Scrooged. And here we are supposed to be living in a world and a time where worker bees are supposed to be respected and have rights, but do they?

We will always live in a world where the next guy might have a lot more, or a lot less. But it’s all about how do we deal with this in our world, isn’t it? It’s also about being kind once in a while.

My critics like to tell me I am not kind. That I am mean. But am I really, or is it just about speaking my truth? That’s for them to figure out, incidentally. I know who I am, and my self-worth.

Now I know speaking my truth comes with a cost. My cost is corporate America. I am like a whistleblower after a fashion, so they will shun me until I am of retirement age. So it is a good thing I am content as being self-employed, a variation on a gig worker. I use my talents for various gigs of varying durations. I am not and will never be wealthy, but it has become enough. That probably makes some uncomfortable because I should want more. But what will more get me precisely?

When more becomes too much, and more of too much becomes the focus you get the Scrooges. Self focused, bullying, miserly, cold. No spirit of generosity. Lacking in actual joy about anything.

So sure, would it be nice to have more? Yes, because having a little more makes paying the bills easier. But our society has become one where we live seemingly only to work, and there is no balance. And those who crave balance, are often punished for that. If you think about it, we seemingly live in a world at times which punishes us for being happy or even wanting to be happy.

We all deserve to be happy, don’t we? So maybe we have to hit the pause button and reflect? We all struggle at times, right? So why can’t we reflect and be human and move forward?

Life is short. Re-read A Christmas Carol and learn from it. Hopefully it is not on a banned or book burning list somewhere. Life and Dickens, still true today.

Thanks for stopping by.

the musing season…

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You know how when you are watching a Christmas movies on TV they have the most picture perfect small (and snowy) towns with all sorts of decorations. And of course the Christmas parties are picture perfect and decorated to the nines with magazine photo worthy canapés.

Real life is a little bit different. We’ll start with how often do we get picturesque snowy Christmases do we have? And the holidays can be messy and not picture perfect although we love our Christmases. Or I do, you might not.

Recently friends of mine from high school pointed out the social media of someone we all once knew. The person is somewhat crackers now, and that’s being kind and perhaps it is a little sad, except I have run out of Christian charity with this one. She is currently posting photos from who knows where of houses she doesn’t live in, people she doesn’t know. But that is not so unusual for social media is it? Fantasy and smoke and mirrors.

My husband always says of me at Christmas that I stress myself out. Maybe I do sometimes, but it is only because I want to spread the magic of the season. I love Christmas and Christmas decorations and the memories they evoke.

This year I decided not to send as many Christmas cards. Why? Because of USPS. Recently I had a gathering for some of my female friends. Mostly high school. I mailed the invitations the first or second weekend in November. We realized that easily HALF of the invitations never reached people! A friend in Bryn Mawr literally did not get an invitation when another friend on the SAME street did! So I will send cards to those I received them from plus a few far away and hold my breath and hope for the best.

We always want that perfect Christmas. Even as a kid I remember that. But some years, that doesn’t happen.

One year, my father picked a tree with what only could be described as crooked. As in the trunk was totally crooked that my father had to lean it against the wall to get it to stand. Our house in Philadelphia had 14 foot ceilings on the first floor.

Then there was the year that kitty our cat got into her catnip stocking early, as in the WHOLE catnip stocking. There weren’t just zoomies, she drunkenly rocked the top of the Christmas tree baaaack and forth while we all prayed she didn’t bring the whole tree tumbling down.

Then there were the Christmases that kids probably loved more than adults. Like one Christmas when I was really little, and it snowed and snowed and snowed, and that is when we were still living in Society Hill, and the streets were quiet because they were so filled with snow, and there were no snow plows. I remember they stopped running at the trolley used to run down the middle of our street and I remember my mother pulling me in a sled along the track with me all bundled up in my little snowsuit, and then I tumbled into the snow and she didn’t realize it first. I was none the worse for the wear, but I think my mother startled the bejesus out of herself.

One of my favorite Christmas memories I have probably mentioned before. When I was really little, my father had a red VW bug with white interior. We would drive down to some railyard in Philadelphia to get a Christmas tree as they came off of the freight trains. It isn’t just the fact that my husband loves VW bugs that as an adult I have VW bug ornaments with Christmas trees strapped to the top. We did that, and then drove through snowy streets to bring the tree home.

Other Christmas memories include going to 9th Street, a.k.a. the Italian market. We would go to DiBruno‘s for cheeses and olives and pepperoncini and more. Then across the street and over to Cappuccio’s for a Christmas roast. Sometimes we stopped at Termini’s bakery, and the spice ladies. Now, with the spice ladies, you had to know how much you spent before you got to them because there wasn’t a cash register they just wrote everything up and if you weren’t paying attention, they would pad your order total by a dollar or two.

When we were little, we went to Saint Peter’s school at 4th and Pine. St. Peter’s always had this wonderful Christmas book fair. At the book fair every year I would get a Marguerite De Angeli, and she would autograph it. She was a famous children’s author and she did the most exquisite illustrations. She was actually quite famous back then, but she was a friend of the mother of the headmistress so she would always come to our book fair. She lived in Philadelphia and died in 1987 at 98 years old. I still have her books. Seeing her for many Christmases and getting a book signed by her is still one of my most favorite and precious Christmas memories. I still encourage people to pick up her books used for their children today. They are the most wonderful stories

St. Peter’s also did this whole Christmas procession thing where we all had these white gowns and we went with candles from the school into the church and they were Christmas carols and what not.

Other things I remember from childhood in Society Hill was going a lot of Christmas seasons to Gloria Dei, Old Swedes’ Church. There we would watch Lucia Fest. Sankta Lucia. At Gloria Dei Church the celebration is held within the walls constructed by Swedish settlers in 1699-1700, in the beauty of candlelight, with a large entourage of young girls joining her in song and procession. For many people, participation in the Lucia Fest is a unique way of marking the beginning of the holiday season.

When I got older and we moved to the Main Line, I have all sorts of memories and some of my favorites are the sound of sleigh bells. When we first moved to the Main Line, we lived across the street from Mr. Gwinn. He not only had magnificent carriages, but spectacular old fashioned sleighs as well. I remember one time when he took my mother and another neighborhood lady on a sleigh ride. Now you have to understand my mother doesn’t like horses and is not comfortable around them. He would leave them with the carriage and the horses while he would dash into someone’s house along the way for a nip of something festive and then come back out.

I seem to remember more snow at Christmas time when we were growing up then we have today. And at that point in time when I was younger and in high school the Main Line was so different. Larger properties, sweeping gardens, and people went all out for Christmas. They also did their own decorating.

I remember being a young teenager on the Main Line before we all drove walking everywhere. Or taking the train. my friend Anna and I would walk into the center of Bryn Mawr and go Christmas shopping at Katydid in Bryn Mawr. Next door to Katydid was an awesome book shop, and down a little flight of steps at a basement level was Mr. Fish’s jewelry shop. And of course, Parvin’s Pharmacy. Going further up Lancaster Ave., Susan Vitale had a wonderful antique store, there was a toy store, and I also remember fondly Eskil’s Clog Shop and The Country Cousin.

And you can’t forget when talking about Bryn Mawr all the hours spent in the Owl Bookshop in Bryn Mawr. I still think it’s a mistake that Bryn Mawr College took that away years ago. It was the most wonderful old bookshop they had new that were gently used newer books, vintage books, antique books, collectors’ books. It was musty and smells like an old library and it was wonderful. I still have almost every book I found there from the time I was a teenager. They would also have a box of orphaned books that they would put out for riders of the train inside the Bryn Mawr train station.It was musty and smells like an old library and it was wonderful. I still have almost every book I found there from the time I was a teenager. They would also have a box of orphaned books that they would put out for riders of the train inside the Bryn Mawr train station.

In Haverford, tucked into one of the train station buildings was Arnold Brown’s Cheese Wheel. Down in Ardmore you had Suburban Square before it was “improved“ and the original Strawbridge & Clothier. And there was still a movie theatre. Main Street AKA Lancaster Avenue in Ardmore also had lots of wonderful shops and there was a FW Woolworths with a lunch counter. They sold great Christmas ornaments there when we were kids, the old school Shiny Brite and other kinds of ornaments. And there was also the Army Navy store and Harrison‘s department store across the street, which also had a branch in Wayne. Harrison’s is where we would often buy our Levi’s, or Levi’s corduroys and the wide wale super preppy corduroys in annoying bright colors.

I remember the shops and everything at Christmas as a kid we’re very festive. This is why I so appreciate places like Smithfield barn, Brandywine View Antiques, Life’s Patina, Burkholder‘s in Malvern, Frazer Antiques, and even Surrey Consignment Shop in Berwyn. All of these places decorate for Christmas as well as having a great selection of things that you can buy as Christmas gifts. It reminds me of how the shops I remember as a kid would get decked out for the holidays.

When we were in high school, our mothers all worked on what were then called the Shipley Christmas Shops. Back then we had multiple religions and ethnicities volunteering, and everyone was OK with calling them the Christmas Shops.

My mother and plenty of my friends’ mothers volunteered for this event. As a matter of fact, I remember the year it was held in an old mansion off of Bryn Mawr Avenue. That was the year they had these fabulous woolens and they were these Christmas plaid tartans and stuff that were magical. I still remember it and this was circa 1979 or 1980.

People don’t remember that this event used to be held offsite. When it was able to come onsite at Shipley and into the Yarnall gym it wasn’t bad for years. What changed were the parents volunteering because they just weren’t as friendly as they used to be. That’s why I stopped going. I used to love to go to this every year, and then there was just this one year that the parental volunteers even at the sign in table were cold. Unfriendly. They weren’t even particularly warm to the older alumnae who came. Oh and they had a Lu La Roe booth. I mean come on. And then, of course, there was the year not so long ago were the woman helping a local business on their booth actually stole from other vendors. (Yes, really.)

And that’s what really changed. It was the attitude of the volunteers and what they were willing to do and really they just wanted the credit to say they did it, and they didn’t put as much effort into it. And they certainly weren’t hunting down great businesses, or even using alumni/alumnae businesses.

Yes, there are a lot of online retailers but guess what? People love these shopping events and I actually think what changed were those volunteering and the attitudes of the purported volunteers who were supposed to be running the event. They didn’t want to do the work. It’s sad, but not just here.

This is something you see across the board with volunteer committees in the region. People don’t want to put the effort into these things anymore. The parties, fundraisers, and these shopping events don’t plan themselves. This is why you are seeing the literal demise of non-profit events, but the demise of volunteerism and committees. Women used to join these committees because it was the right thing to do and it was good to give back. What that evolved into in my humble opinion is how much they could get out of it personally and that was never the point.

So this year, after doing the event since 1960, Shipley cancelled the event. They can’t get enough volunteers apparently which is really sad. Someone said to me about how all these women work and I just kind of looked at them because women have always worked, and volunteered.

Something else volunteer related I always loved was the Christmas Bazaar at The Church of the Redeemer in Bryn Mawr. I am guessing they still do it in some form, but I have to tell you it was amazing!

Upstairs in the church hall and where the offices and kitchen were was the silent auction. You could also buy lunch and sit at a table in the church hall which was all decked out in Christmas decorations and greenery it was fabulous!

Downstairs was the white elephant room where you could find all sorts of things including then fabulous vintage Christmas ornaments. Down the hall from the white elephant was the churches thrift shop which was a treasure trove of items. It was one of my favorite places to find vintage pocketbooks. Then there was a room for toys and then there were a couple of big rooms for books. I always bought way too many books, and still have a lot of them decades later.

A lot of these Christmas bazaars and shops and shopping events my friends and I went to for years and years. They kind of set the tone for Christmas. We also would start hunting Christmas in the fall at the St. David’s Fair. We all still attend the St. David’s Fair and one of my dearest friends pours her heart and soul into this event every year. As a matter of fact, the St. David’s Fair is an event that has aged well which is entirely due to the volunteers.

But Christmas is not just about the decorations and preparations, it’s about a state of mind that is sometimes difficult to achieve some days. There is an emotional component that can be hard.

Christmas is a joyous season, but it is also a bittersweet season. People who have experienced great loss can find Christmas a heavy load. They have their memories with departed loved ones. Others have memories with them and those who are no longer with us. How does one balance it? Do you keep some of the old while incorporating new? Or do you do everything everyone else expects at the expense of yourself?

I find myself thinking of my father and brother in law who passed away this time of year. Both loved Christmas. This was the first time since 2005 which is when my father died, that I didn’t cry when I got to the ornament boxes that still have his handwriting on it. I smiled. It made me happy, like I was saying hello again to ornaments I grew up with. Like the little rabbit ornament that was on my parents’ first tree. I smiled again as I was planning Christmas cookies yet to be baked. I thought of my late brother in law. I can still hear him coming into his house arms full of Christmas packages and referring to my niece as “cake.” We all miss him. He was a tremendous human being, and had the uncanny gift of being able to see people. He was very kind, and he also loved Christmas.

Life is messy, but I suppose it’s what you make out of the mess when all is said and done. We all want these picture perfect holidays, much like all of the Christmas and holiday movies on Lifetime, CBS, Hallmark, Netflix, etc. O.K. if you find those families, please let me know. Life can be significantly less fun at times, and issues (especially around the holidays) take longer to work out.

This has been a hard year for so many people. Economy, life in general, family…or just emotional. The people posting perfect everything without a hint of reality? I am guessing that is what gets them through the day. I have never been a good fake it until you make it, or don’t kind of person. I am just me.

This is not necessarily my easiest Christmas. I have found myself wavering between “Yay, it’s Christmas!” and “Yeah, whatever.”

It has been a long year. For everyone. But there have been plenty of spots of joy and laughter. And there are so many out there who are in truly bad situations. We all need to be grateful for what we do have, not concentrate on envy of what we don’t have.

Face it they all have been long years since the end of 2019 when everything in our worlds’ changed thanks to COVID19. And then of course, it has all gotten longer thanks to insane politics and extremist groups who wish to limit our basic rights and freedoms in this country.

So I am going to take a breath and try to soak up the season, and remember why we celebrate it. Have faith. Things will get better.

Thanks for stopping by.

ghosts of christmas past

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I have been going to write this post for a few days. Every time I sat down to begin it, life got in the way, so I decided I just need to start it today.

Why the title of the post? I was going through old photos and it just sort of hit me is that was the title. The photos I was going through were of parties and black-tie fundraisers from many, many years ago.

One of the things I loved best about a lot of those parties were the dresses we had back then. So we’re talking the 80s through mid 90s. And especially in the late 80s, the dresses were pretty. That was one of my favorite era for black tie dresses and gowns. I am not talking the Dynasty-esque dresses, there were just a lot of pretty, well made dresses.

How fancy you dressed back then, was dictated by the event itself. And the events themselves were kind of special. You couldn’t just buy a ticket and subscribe necessarily, you need to receive an invitation to do that. ticket prices for the event but they weren’t exorbitant. Of course back then sometimes they felt exorbitant because a lot of us were just starting out working full-time after college, etc.

Back, then black tie was predominantly floor length as far as the dresses went. Sometimes tea length, it just depended on the dress. White tie was something else again. Perhaps one of my favorite gowns was this crazy beautiful iridescent silk taffeta Victor Costa gown. My mother bought it for me at Nan Duskin in Philadelphia.

There were a lot of stores as in department stores and boutiques to choose from. And they always had a selection of ladies black tie attire. And the dresses were pretty, the fabrics had body to them.

And most importantly, at least for me as compared to the majority of the dresses you see today in photos, Hoochie Mama wasn’t hollering for her dress back. Sure there was tons of strapless, but the dresses left a little to the imagination and they weren’t sliced all the way down the chest bone or all the way up to the pelvic bone, it seemed.

Also back then? Plastic surgery was reserved for something your mother’s friends did, sometimes badly. Today it feels like no one can age gracefully (or otherwise) and plastic surgery and procedures seem to be starting rather young.

The parties, especially at Christmas, were so much fun. The Charity Ball is in the Philadelphia Charity Ball, at that point was December 23. but before that starting in November, there were all sorts of events and Christmas parties. Around Thanksgiving was Pilgrimage on the Parkway.

I remember a few parties that were even held at 30th St., Station. One Christmas party I remember in particular because I had this dress back then that I loved and this party was not formal, it was semi formal. Semi-formal meant short dresses and men wore coat and tie. I had found this dress at John Wanamaker’s when it was still, John Wanamaker’s. The dress was a wonderful red with blue undertones as opposed to orange. It had a halter neck and a regular zip up back but it was the 80s, so the halter collar part was pearls. Not big, huge, Barbara Bush sized pearls, they were regular sized, but that was the entire color. The dress was to the knee.

Back then half of what we wore as far as evening shoes were simple, black peau de soie pumps. The heels were an average height, they weren’t sky high, and the heels weren’t chunky. And if you didn’t have those you had velvet pumps of a similar style. Essentially classic and elegant.

Sometimes we had our hair done in an updo, but not all the time. I have pretty thick hair and I remember one party that I went to in Alexandria Old Town, Virginia. I ended up taking out the up do before the party because the woman had teased my hair into a southern up do and it looked like I was related to Imelda Marcos. I still remember that moment because it was really funny.

And at that time, I had a lot of friends in the Washington DC area. People who had migrated there for work after college and more. And back then when you went to Washington for one of those black ties or Christmas parties, you had to bring your A game. those women in DC knew how to dress. And the dresses were gorgeous down there. So were the parties.

This one group of girls I remember used to do this great holiday fundraiser and it was black-tie edit benefited Toys for Tots. I want to say for a while it was held I think back then at the Ritz Carlton in Washington DC. I remember it was always held on a lower level of the hotel and wherever it was held there were these antique dioramas built into the wall on that level they were kind of fascinating to look at.

And at one of those Washington DC Christmas parties one year, we all met Walter Cronkite. He was in town for something , but retired at that point. I remember how tall he seemed. He had come into DC from Annapolis. He was so nice. He actually did stop to speak to all of us. And his voice in person was just as great as it was on TV. He had been at something at the hotel and literally just stuck his head into the party we were at to check it out. I remember he had such a nice face in person and his eyes sparkled.

This was of course before the age of social media. So there weren’t many photos. Just memories. Like memories of the parental units going to black tie Christmas parties. Or the Christmas parties we went to as a family. All dressed up, white tights, mary janes, and matching dresses until we revolted finally. Oh and don’t forget the matching Christmas nightgowns!

And all of these parties had great food and beverages served using actual china and glassware, and no plastic utensils.

I remember neighborhood parties. I remember one where every year one neighborhood man would wear his Christmas plaid pants. And sometimes a Christmas vest. The pants were what my one grandmother would have called “high water” pants, or they were a little too short. He would greet everyone at every party with a big grin and say “Howdy, neighbor!” (No it wasn’t Texas, it was the Main Line.)

Back then there were quite a few neighborhood parties. As a general society, we weren’t so transient. People moved into areas and stayed, they didn’t move into areas and then flip for the next bigger house. People actually sang Christmas carols, and knew their neighbors. Even if I didn’t want to be all dressed up and looking exactly like my sister, the parties were pretty fun and festive.

Then there were the caroling parties every year with my cousin Suzy. Suzy lived in Newtown, Bucks County. None of us could sing, but we would still gather at Suzy‘s house. There was a little Christmas party, then we would go around Christmas caroling for a while, laugh like hell, and go back to Suzy’s l house. Suzy was also one of the first people I went hunting vintage Christmas ornaments with. Often that meant getting up at o’dark early to hit the flea markets outside of New Hope.

Then there were the family Christmas parties with my mother’s German friends, Susi and Babette. Those parties were spectacular like out of a movie set, but they weren’t artificial. They were natural and gorgeous and very German. The ornaments on the trees, fresh greens, candle light. We always loved going to their houses. And the fun thing about their parties were the people were so interesting and fun. When I entertain today, I still like to channel them. No pigs in a blanket at their houses, which was always fine because that to this day is an hors d’oeuvre, I don’t understand nor like.

In the 90s I remember being invited to this spectacular Christmas party. It was on Fishers Road in Bryn Mawr. A beautiful little house on a shared driveway. I’m not even sure if the house still exists because so many places have been knocked down for bigger houses to be built.

Anyway, the guy that owned the house had something to do with IKEA and he and his partner lived in it. He did this totally glorious European/Scandinavian Christmas party. The decorations were beautiful. Unbelievable trees and greens and decorations. The house was just decked. Candlelight. There were also so many different kinds of fish. Beautiful oysters on the half shell and shrimp and crab and I don’t even know what else. A true smörgåsbord. Ham, beef, cheeses, fruit. The house was like a jewel box. I think the reason I liked that party so much it was like another version of what my mother’s friends Susi and Babette would do.

These parties I remember were all pretty. The houses festive and beautiful. The decorating done by the homeowners, not a Christmas decorating service. Everyone was a little Martha Stewart on the Christmas bus back then. And it wasn’t party trays from the grocery store, these were planned out menus that the hostess did, and for the most part prepared herself. Yes, these kinds of parties are a lot of work, but they are worth it and your guests appreciate it.

As I mentioned, there were the annual Christmas parties you attended with your family. One party we went to we attended for decades. We watched the changes from the first wife to the second wife. With the first wife, sometimes they would all be there to greet you at the door. The wife and daughters in quasi matching dresses of icy perfection. With the second wife, it was all warmer and more genuine. And every year the Christmas tree was different. The most amusing thing about this party is every year the core crowd was the same. It was a party where I knew every year like clockwork that I would see certain friends. It was never the most exciting party, but it was beautiful and nice.

Then you grow up and everything is different again. And what is so funny is how things change now that we are the age of our parents taking all of us to Christmas parties or fussing about our gowns for The Charity Ball.

Me personally? On one hand, I loved all the fun black tie holiday parties and the annual Christmas parties we went to. But then on the other hand, I love our own Christmas traditions in a completely different time.

Now it’s us. Pre-COVID, we did a few Christmas parties, including one at Loch Aerie before she opened as a wedding and event venue. She was restored but the kitchen was just a shell and the ballroom addition was not built. Duffy’s did the catering with a kitchen in a big truck.

But mostly, even before COVID hit, it is us, at home. Those are our traditions. Not as formal, never as dressy. These days it’s more about how will I display my vintage Christmas ornaments and where on my tree will my wool felted Christmas mice will go. But the Christmas dishes and real glasses and silverware still come out.

I remember years ago, before I was married, and I was with someone else, we would go to their relatives for Christmas sometimes. The brother and sister-in-law took the time to do a beautiful meal with real plates and silverware and glasses, and then there was the other sister, and it was a lot of plastic cups and cooking things in disposable tinfoil pans. Obviously, you know which house I liked better.

A friend of my mine and I were talking about all of this yesterday. She texted me a photo, all bundled up underneath an umbrella in the rain waiting for Santa to come by on a fire truck where she lived. She says to me “this is me, no more Charity balls.” And then we both laughed, because I knew where she was coming from exactly. My friend’s parents also threw these amazing holiday parties and her mother’s house was one of my favorites. And like my own parents, everything was decorated and beautiful at Christmas.

And then there are other things that you remember about the season as a little kid. The Sears Wishbook. That catalog was huge and I remember a year after year turning down the corners of pages where there were dolls and toys I wanted. No kid ever got their entire wish list but thumbing through that catalog was kind of a Christmas tradition in and of itself.

So now we are all decorating our own homes. Sometimes my friends and I wonder how our mothers did it all. But as we all decorate, we all remember our ghosts of Christmas past. There aren’t nearly enough photos but we remember the feelings, the sound, the smells. Every year some of the images in our memory fade a little bit, yet many still remain. The echoes of people talking in rooms that no longer exist, with festive music playing in the background. Even some memories of Christmas sleigh and carriage rides. I still hear the jingles of sleigh bells, which is probably why I have some hanging in my house all year round.

Continue to create your Christmas memories. They are so important. And for goodness sake, no paper plates and plastic glasses. The season comes but once a year. Make it special.

Thanks for stopping by!

christmas traditions, baking, and even a miracle

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As I have mentioned in previous years on this blog, in our neighborhood we have our own little tradition. We leave each other a little gift. I delivered mine yesterday and so did my one next-door neighbor, and bit by bit there are more little surprises appearing on our doorsteps in time for Christmas. We know these elves well, they are our neighbors. And this is one of my favorite Christmas traditions since moving to this neighborhood.

The neighborhood behind us does luminaries up and down their street on Christmas Eve. We see it through our woods from upstairs and it’s so lovely to look at!

I have done my baking including the Christmas stollen. This year I tried a new recipe using sourdough starter and oh and how it did rise! I did deviate slightly because I filled mine with marzipan.

I also made Lebkuchen for the first time. I could not find those German wafers you are supposed to use so I used a King Arthur recipe that makes them like bar cookies. This is the case with many king Arthur recipes I have discovered over the years I have had to tweak it. Their recipe was very dry and it omitted powdered anise which most other recipes contain. You don’t use a lot just a little smidgen. To combat the dryness of the dough, and I added about four or 5 tablespoons of buttermilk. The dough also completely crumbled apart once I was able to start to roll it the next day so I ended up pressing it into the pan. But it did turn out well and I added more liquid to the glaze because 2 tablespoons of brandy was not enough. I actually used about 4. I actually used a local Brandy that is apple brandy from Manatawny Still Works .

I will note I tried to tell King Arthur flour about the issues in their recipe and they were kind of ridiculous about it. Told me maybe I lived in a dry high altitude climate. (Umm no, live in Chester County, PA) and then they had to tell me how maybe I let some extra flower “slip into the bowl”. Umm no again so I will just tell you all my workarounds.

I didn’t get around to my anisette cookies or biscotti this year, but I baked a whole bunch of still traditional Christmas cookies. Big soft ginger cookies, sugar cookies, a couple different kind of chocolate chip cookies, peanut butter cookies, and white chocolate oatmeal cookies. On one batch of the chocolate chip cookies I was in too much of a rush and I forgot to add the eggs. So they ended up like chocolate chip lace cookies. Still perfectly edible.

Now for my Christmas miracle. I just found out that one of my growing up friends who lives in upstate New York just emerged from a coma. She was in a coma for the past two months.

It was kind of freaky the way I found out I just had this weird feeling because I hadn’t heard from her and we usually speak every couple of months. I thought about her a few days ago because I heard the old Kansas song “dust in the wind”. She and one other person I know from high school loved that song. And then the other day she just popped into my head and I realized I hadn’t heard from her.

I went to call her cell phone and the call just dropped and went nowhere. So I went to social media and saw that her brother had posted she’s been in a coma and was awake. So thanks to Facebook I was able to message and then video chat with her yesterday. That makes her the official Christmas miracle. She literally could have never ever woken up.

It was one of those things where everyone who knew thought those of us who did not know knew, only we didn’t. She was even a story in a newspaper in Auburn, NY that contains a link to a Go Fund Me to help with expenses. Yes she has health insurance, but another thing happened to her while she was in a coma for two months: somebody who went to “visit her“ in the hospital made off with her cell phone and the bank card that was tucked inside the case that no one knew was there.

As she told me yesterday this person essentially cloned her identity, emptied her bank account, and sold her expensive phone to one of those we buy used phone places near her. That apparently was caught on some kind of security camera I guess it was in a mall. As I am told the police have not apprehended this person yet but Karma is a bitch and they should just turn themselves in. I mean how do you do that to somebody in a coma? I hope as an additional Christmas present somebody turns that person in, and I think that if the phone was sold at a place that buys used phones, obviously that store knows who they are and they should come forward because that cell phone contained photos of her son who passed away a couple years ago and also of her late mother.

But for the grace of God go any of us, and his Christmas day is now literally right around the corner, I hope everyone has a wonderful and blessed Christmas. I also hope everyone is safe because Covid is on the rise again.

If I don’t post again, I hope all of you have a very Merry Christmas.

holiday landmines…and other thoughts

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Today was the day I had slated to address our Christmas Cards. It will have to wait until tomorrow. I hit a holiday landmine this afternoon.

I received a few Christmas cards, and ever the Christmas card addressing procrastinator, I thought I would open them. Well one was a note from a friend who lost their spouse. They said something along the lines is the problem with looking at photos is you can’t hold hands with it.

That just made me stop. So beautiful and yet so sad and heart-breaking and tragic a sentiment. It made me remember the breadth and depth of their love. And I know there are others out there in my friend group who is having the same emotional struggles right now.

So I thought to myself, tomorrow is another day and I will do the cards then.

It made me think of last week when I was getting out more of the Christmas ornaments. Every year I know these boxes containing some of my late father’s ornaments are in a certain ornament tub in the attic. Every year the boxes fall apart a little more, and the handwriting fades a little more. And every year, I am a puddle for a few minutes all over again when I see them. And I remember when the boxes were newer and sturdy. And the handwriting bold and definite.

Christmas is magical. And often bittersweet. And sometimes it can be sad within the beauty of the season. I know quite a few people this year who will be spending the holidays with one person down in their lives. Someone who completed their circle in some way.

We need to take a beat and pause during this time of year. These are the things that are actually important — those who remain and those who have left us. Christmas memories. Keeping old and good memories and making new ones while remembering those who are no longer here.

All of this occurred to me today as those twisted Stepford Wives in the local chapter of “Moms for Liberty” who released their book burning list I guess recently (or it surfaced again in time for Christmas?) The list includes The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini, Outlander by Diana Galbadon, Forever by Judy Blume (which they were flipping out about when I was a kid), Beloved by Toni Morrison.

The funniest bad book was 50 Shades of Grey by E.L. James which literally made me laugh because the kids are probably stealing it from their mother’s bedside table – and yes that book is total trash. And of course all of the books that are geared towards kids who may be LGBTQIA are always bad, and well let’s sprinkle the world with extra racism at Christmas to show how Christian they all are. But let’s not forget as soon as you tell a kid something is BAD, they want to know all about it.

All I can think is how can these people have such sad, narrow-minded lives? And then my mind goes back to people I know who are struggling this Christmas season. As my friend Tom said:

“The most moronic group name I’ve seen in a while. They don’t know what they want to believe and others to follow. Liberty defined is, “the state of being free within society from oppressive restrictions imposed by authority on one’s way of life, behavior, or political views.” So by asking authority to impose restrictions on freedoms is insane.”

I don’t know what it will take for people to wake up in our world and realize being different is what makes us unique. It makes us individuals. It makes us human. And these oddly empowered people who worship still at the altar of extremism in politics Just.Don’t.Get.It.

People in this country and in other countries have lost so much over the past couple of years, can’t they just take a beat, take a breath and remember what this season is supposed to be about? They are as bad as the Scrooge neighbors of Castlebar Lane in Willistown who were nothing short of miserable at the meeting the other night where the township announced the settlement agreement with Wildflower Farm.

I just don’t get people. I want to think some of these people may also find the holiday season difficult except they seem to be like this all of the time, right?

Christmas is in 10 days. Can we be kind and supportive of those who need it and stop all the extraneous B.S.? (And that includes the crazy rage-o-riffic impatient driving patterns everywhere.)

But oh yes! Before I forget: HUMOR. The Christmas star on this local tree has had too much Egg Nog, apparently:

That reminds me of the tree we had as a kid that my mother swore had spinal meningitis. It looked all perfect on the lot and we got it home and it leaned at such an angle that my father put it in a corner and kind of leaned it against the wall so people didn’t notice as much!

Personally, I miss my father and my great aunts and my brother in law and my maternal grandmother at Christmas. These are the people who loved Christmas even more than me I think. And they always made it fun…even if decorating a tree with my father could be maddening because he had a specific ORDER to adding ornaments to the tree. And I just realized now that I *think* I do the same thing. So that just made me smile.

Well that brings another rambling stream of consciousness to an end.

Try loving one and other for at least a short while? Life is short, it’s Christmas.

Bah humbug to all Christmas crabs and to all a good night.

christmas is ON at frazer antiques!

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Frazer Antiques located at 351 Lancaster Ave in Frazer/Malvern is ready for your visit! They also have a 15% off sale until December 31, 2021!

Look at this gorgeous platter!

Frazer Antiques is one of my favorite haunts all times of the year, but there is something magical about an antique store at Christmas! There are so many great vintage ornaments and they are reasonably priced. There are also all sorts of little things to tempt you and catch your eye!

Here is something I found yesterday which is happy in my house now:

Isn’t that little crèche amazing? It’s vintage Oberammergau made in Germany! I was psyched to find it!

Frazer Antiques has friendly staff who are also among the many antiques dealers who fill the store with delightful treasures. As a matter fact I found out yesterday that one of the dealers is someone I went to high school with that I did not know had a stall there !

I hope all of you will take a minute to patronize another local business here in Chester County that’s really lovely.

Frazer Antiques is open pretty much every day 10 AM to 5 PM. 351 Lancaster Avenue Malvern/Frazer. Plenty of free parking in the front and then behind the shop! (610)-651-8299

They ask that the unvaccinated to please be considerate and wear a mask inside. And they have plenty of hand sanitizer right as you walk in the door.

Please note, I was not asked to create this post or take photos, nor was I compensated in any way, shape, or form. I love this local business and merely believe in #ShopSmall #ShopLocal #PayItForward

magnolia cottage shop in malvern is looking magical and holiday bright!

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Last year none of us were out much because of COVID19. This year we are taking baby steps. It is sometimes disconcerting being out because face it, we are not used to it. I think that’s why I appreciate the small businesses in our area even more.

One of my favorites, Magnolia Cottage Shop is all decked out for Christmas and Kathy the owner has gone out of her way to make it so wonderful and welcoming. The shop is full of so many fun things right now, I could have stayed far longer than I did!

I found a few things I loved including this little vintage Annalee white elf. I don’t know much about these Christmas collectibles, I have a couple of friends that love them so I have gotten a few here and there over the years and I think this one is a Frosty! He looks really cute on my tree!

Magnolia Cottage Shop has something for everyone and one of my other favorite things were the vintage Pimpernel Santa placemats:

Magnolia Cottage Shop is located at 288 Lancaster Avenue Frazer/Malvern PA 19355. They are closed Mondays. See website and Facebook and Instagram for more!

festive and wonderful marshallton!!

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This afternoon started at The Cottage Shop in Marshallton. It’s a lovely little spot which is only open a few times a year, and it is something I missed during COVID19. This little gem is on W. Strasburg Rd not too far down from The Four Dogs Tavern.

Then it was off to the front porch of The Marshalton Inn for a Holiday Artisan Market with Re-Imagined Style and others. (They are there until 3:30 PM then it’s all hands on deck as they get ready to light the tree and welcome Santa to one of my favorite and so historic villages! The tree lighting is at historic Martin’s Tavern at 4 PM and festivities run until 6 PM!

Our last stop was The Four Dogs Tavern for lunch and to get some more Four Dogs swag (T-shirts, they make great gifts!)

Four Dogs Tavern is one of my favorite places. The atmosphere is awesome, and the food is always very good. I was very amused today after lunch when I had stepped outside and was waiting for my husband and this small group of Trendy Wendys stepped out of the Four Dogs and one said to the other “Well it looks like an old building I guess.”

Wisely I said nothing. But in my head, I was definitely rolling my eyes because oh that building has history!

If you are interested in more of the history of this area or would like to support the history, please check out The Marshallton Conservation Trust website.

Although we didn’t make any other stops we ended up coming through the Borough of West Chester which is also getting all gussied up for the holidays and looks very festive.

I will note that I decided to go to Marshallton today on my own and I was not asked to write anything, nor am I being compensated for my opinions.

There’s lots to love in Chester County this Christmas! Go exploring!

the little christmas things

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“It is Christmas in the heart that puts Christmas in the air.”
— W.T. Ellis

For years I have been hunting for a mistletoe ball like the one that hung from a chandelier in our house when I was really little. I have seen some from time to time, but they were never quite right.

Until today. And it was like a friend of mine reached decades into the past and pulled it forward. I have found the doppelgänger of the one from my childhood!

I hung my new old mistletoe ball on a chandelier that may have hosted the original one in my parents house in the 1960s.

It’s such a simple thing and really gave me some extra Christmas spirit today.

Thanks for stopping by.