When a friend sent me the above, I spit out my coffee. It’s like a Hard Sided Tribble Decorating Service for Stepford wives. (if you don’t know what a tribble is, look it up.)
I think it’s ridiculous. I did not know porches needed collectives. I did not know pumpkins required concierge service.
Oh and in spite of comments from the owner on social media that they just dreamed this up, it’s not original.
What am I talking about? A pumpkin decorating service called The Porch Collective. They say they are wait for it…a pumpkin concierge service.
But see next videos and article…not original.
Of course if you aren’t interested in “The Porch Collective” you can always go “Dwell“
I don’t know this must be like one of the few times a year that Stepford Village development dwellers allow color into their beige, beige world? But it’s carefully orchestrated color using a color wheel leftover from that pyramid scheme perhaps?
Oh am I being sarcastic? Why yes and that is very astute of all of you. I am not going to tell people how to spend their money, but part of decorating your home for the holidays is heart and caring. It does not take a Halloween witch to place pumpkins artfully, after all Martha Stewart has been doing it for years and tells you like clockwork every year in her magazine. Same with Country Living Magazine. Also, on Pinterest without a subscription. Or hey GOOGLE.
And don’t tell me you are too busy. No one is that busy that they can’t place a few pumpkins. And hey sure, not everyone wants to carve pumpkins, I personally don’t because I like to look at the pumpkins. And when our son was little, pumpkin hunting, hay rides, corn mazes, and a massive carving and decorating afternoon with friends was a tradition.
Seriously, have we so devolved into the land of samey same in a beige beige development world that we can no longer find joy in picking out pumpkins ourselves and placing them?
And if you do not have time to pick out pumpkins, psssst there is this great company called BloomBox and they have great prices and they deliver….
But seriously back to the Porch Collective. Not original. Here- just peruse the Internet:
Oh but dear rubes of a certain collective, they are doing you a favor and they dreamed it all up themselves over iced pumpkin lattes and a pumpkin flaxseed muffin in their cookie cutter kitchen in their cookie cutter house. Note the screenshots below, especially the comment left on their socials.
People this is as original as a grocery store apple pie. My eyes are dong the full roll. And I like pumpkins, but umm people after they dump all of these pumpkins on your McMansion porch who will be disposing of them for you? If you buy 30-60+ pumpkins where will you put them? I bet your HOA dragons might have something to say about that. They should have paid closer attention to some of the samey same businesses I found all over the country which include clean up in the prices.
But hey, what do I know? I can tell you I can place my own pumpkins and I don’t want to look like a giant vomited pumpkins all over the front of my house. I also do not want to see my design scheme replicated all over the place.
I just can’t get over the Stepford Wife of it all with this. If you use them, remember delivery and set up are extra.
Go ahead, call me a witch. It’s near Halloween, after all. But damn people, have we so fallen from reality that we can’t place our own freaking pumpkins?
Sign me cackling all the way….
OK, I’ll admit that I …didn’t catch the sarcasm after the glowing comments in several paragraphs. ..why would she like this obvious overcrowding of pumpkins and gourds on the front stoop AND the front door! I mean, really. Imagine 3 or 4 friends show up at your front door… or try to … and the embarrassment of a friend brushing her coat against the display..and everything falls off the steps…and how would you EVER put the pumpkins and gourds together again!