I have been wrestling with something recently and especially in the last day. I knew I wanted to write about it, but I didn’t know how to write about it until this morning.
This morning I was going through some Christmas ornaments in the attic. I accidentally dropped one of my little ceramic elves. The elf split neatly in half and I was able to glue her back together quite easily.
It’s a shame broken people can’t be fixed as easily as a couple of dabs of super glue. But they can’t be. They have to want to fix themselves to some extent.
I’m not saying I have led a perfect life. I have not. I have made mistakes. But if we’re honest with ourselves mistakes can teach us things. If we want to listen, that is.
I lost a growing up friend the other day. I was asked by his family to let the people we went to high school with know. Unfortunately, social media being what it is, you also get the people you weren’t actually notifying. One of those people left a comment.
And I deleted it. And the reason I deleted it is because they tried to make this tragedy about them with their comment. The comment more or less was maybe my newly deceased friend would say “hello” to her mother. Now that in and of itself, would’ve been a sweet sentiment if my friend had actually been friends with this person, let alone actually knew the mother.
This person who left that particular comment is somebody who is very troubled. But this is also someone who has hurt so many other people I know, that I actually have a hard time finding kindness in my heart for them.
When this other person’s mother died, they left comments all over all sorts of social media pages as if their mother had been a local celebrity or was famous. I get that this person probably misses their mom on some level, but there’s more to the backstory which includes a couple of years they literally weren’t really around for their mother. And they don’t own that. The comments were bizarre.
This person is full of issues (and addictive behaviors) they have never acknowledged or owned. When this person does anything like this, it’s strategic in a twisted sort of way to get attention. For years many have tried to help her, but the hard work, the heavy lifting, had to come from her and she hasn’t ever seemed to want to do it. So people have walked away.
When she left that self-serving comment on the post announcing the death of my friend, it bought a lot of how I felt about this person back. When you run across someone like this, you’re always torn. Do you tell them off or do you try to help one more time? The problem is they are manipulative, so attempts to help becomes enabling. That is why I decided to do nothing, and I simply deleted the comment quietly.
There is a second person who I am also struggling with right now. And this is someone I actually care about. But again, it’s a woman who won’t own her issues, and people have tried to help to no avail.
I mean this most sincerely when I say that I truly hope this other person can find something within themselves to stop the slippery slope. Because she is on the precipice of the point of no return. This is someone who has a lot of positive things to offer the world.
And I swear it’s during the holidays that you see broken people. And because 2020 has been so hard for so many people, I think we’re seeing more broken people than ever. But other than trying to be kind, this is the year we have to tend to our own families and our own people first. And I’m not saying that to be selfish. I’m saying it because it’s the truth. Or I think it’s the truth.
There are professionals equipped to deal with assisting broken people. But these people who need help have to take some of the steps themselves. We can’t literally walk the walk for them. It’s impossible.
However, I am sending up a prayer that these broken people out there find the help they need and can get through the holiday season. And take steps to heal. But as hard as it is to accept, it’s not as easy as gluing a ceramic figurine back together.
Well those are my thoughts. We can’t fix all who need fixing, sadly. Thanks for stopping by.