the ick file: royal “junk” we can do without

Shut up Harry

I am an Anglophile. I have a British stepfather and step siblings and step nieces and nephews and so on. They are a wonderful bunch. I have friends and former teachers who are British and live in the U.K. All are wonderful and bright and I can’t help but wonder how they feel about Prince Wanker, err I mean Prince Harry? I would actually ask except I don’t want to ad to the gaper delay of us Yanks to their now British equivalent of Billy Beer. For those who can’t buy a clue here, President Jimmy Carter’s brother Billy. Billy Beer is a brand of beer first made in the United States in July 1977, by the Falls City Brewing Company. It was promoted by Billy Carter, when Jimmy Carter was then the President of the United States.

I remember watching Harry’s mother’s wedding on a tiny black and white TV in my bedroom the summer of 1981. I was 17 and kind of sort of still believed in life fairytales like that. I also remember watching the then inconceivable news cycles that seemed endless when she died on August 31, 1997. And I remember all the crazy news stories between her marriage and her death.

So I am not trying to minimize the loss or the issues faced by Prince Harry over the course of his life. Or that of his brother, William.

But enough already. And enough of Meghan Markle. If she had been of age during the hey day of The Beatles there is not a doubt in my mind she would have edged out Yoko Ono. She’s another version of Wallis Simpson with no socialite pedigree, and Harry is evolving to be as embarrassing as his late great uncle Edward (David.)

I loved Meghan Markle in Suits. I also recall a Hallmark movie. But she was never going to be more than a TV actress. She is a few years older than Harry, having been born the year his parents married. At first I thought with she and Harry what a cute love story, but now? Is she really just a social climbing Royal digger?

Look, no doubt Meghan was treated badly by quite a few in Buckingham Palace. The place is somewhat known for bad behavior as long as there has been a monarchy. It’s like a giant popular girls lunch table in the middle school lunchroom with pedigrees and pecking orders. And honestly as much as I am an Anglophile, some can be horrible snobs and we are all still just those ill bred colonists. So I do believe she was targeted and treated poorly.

But. Meghan and Harry elected to go Wallis and David and leave the Royal family. OK fine. No really, if it’s not your jam, leave. But the problem is, they’ve never left.

Everything they have been up to since they left, is one giant publicity stunt, and all about money. I won’t be reading Harry‘s memoir, and none of us have to, technically because it’s being shopped all over the media, along with all of his appearances. Remember the E Series “The Royals”? With these two it’s like the show never got cancelled.

I think most of it is just in bad taste. And if he’s so happy with his new life, why does he keep talking about his old life? Oh yeah for money.

The thing that really sent me right over the edge was when my friend had posted about his using some Elizabeth Arden cream on his private parts. Howard Stern should have a field day with this. Personally I have never been a fan of Elizabeth Arden products, but if I was I wouldn’t buy them again now because of Harry Tell-All TMI.

Yes, Harry, we get it. You are the Royal Dick literally and figuratively.

Enough already.

Page Six NY Post: All about the Elizabeth Arden cream that saved Prince Harry’s frostbitten penis By Elana Fishman

January 13, 2023 | 4:57pm

Prince Harry in the snow

All about the Elizabeth Arden cream that saved Prince Harry’s frostbitten penis

By Elana Fishman

January 13, 2023 | 4:57pm

Page Six may be compensated and/or receive an affiliate commission if you buy through our links.Prince Harry’s frost-nipped “todger” has everyone talking.PA Images via Getty Images

It works on chapped lips, dry cuticles — and even the crown jewels.

Of all the bombshells from Prince Harry’s buzzy new memoir, “Spare,” few have captivated the internet quite like the Duke of Sussex’s confession about treating his “frostbitten todger” with Elizabeth Arden Eight Hour Cream ($27), a cult-favorite formula that’s a go-to for many members of the royal family … including, now, Harry’s member.

The Duke of Sussex revealed that following a charity trip to the North Pole in 2011, his own pole wound up wounded from the bitter cold…””My mum used that on her lips. You want me to put that on my todger?’” Harry recalled asking his pal, to which they responded, “‘It works, Harry. Trust me.’”…Continued the duke, in a passage that’s horrified many a reader, “I found a tube, and the minute I opened it, the smell transported me through time. I felt as if my mother was right there in the room.”

Well, it’s a good thing the poor man child Prince is presumably getting lots of money from his book. He can invest some of it back into therapy for mommy issues.

Last word? This couple lacks dignity, they lead a pretty cushy privileged life, and they should be able to have some modicum of dignity.

still among my favorite gardening books for practical advice and tips

Yes, I have written about these books before. I wrote about them in 2014 in connection to my recipe about making a “rose smoothie.” (A rose smoothie is something I feed my roses, incidentally.)

But I was prompted this morning to mention these books again because someone in my gardening group with a local restaurant who is a friend of mine kindly offered her old egg shells to gardeners who use them to amend the soil.

Decades ago at this point, I read about these books by Margaret and Bridget Boland in the Wall Street Journal. Yes, the Wall Street Journal. Truthfully, over the years some of the best US gardening articles I have ever read have been out of the Wall Street Journal on occasion. When I originally bought these books I bought them from Trevian Book Shop in Massachusetts.

These books are fun little volumes, and well, some of it literally is lore. As in why people planted things how they planted things and even charms to protect the gardener. There is a funny little section in Gardner’s Magic and Other Old Wives Lore about weather predicting creatures, specifically frogs. And how if a frog looks pale yellow the weather is going to be fine if it’s going to be wet the same frog will turn dark brown or green.

Old Wives’ Lore for Gardeners contains more practical garden magic. It was in this little book that I learned about adding banana skins to the soil for roses. It is what intrigued me in the article about these books I read in the Wall Street Journal- it was one of the things that the writer spoke about in the books. Of course also in this book I learned again about the benefits of tossing old soapy water – as in dish soap – onto your roses and flower and vegetable beds to help control things like aphids that don’t like the soapy water. People refer to this a lot of the time as “gray water” and we aren’t speaking of dishwasher detergent or clothing detergent, but plain old dish soap. Now my older relatives always used to speak of tossing the old dish soap onto the flowerbeds.

People tend to gravitate always and first towards the shiniest and new with glossy photographs gardening books. But inside little old volumes like these there is also a lot of knowledge to be had. These books are still enchanting today and interspersed throughout the lore are invaluable bits of old-fashioned wisdom and gardening tips. If you are a gardener you would love these books.

You can still find copies of these books which were published in the mid-1970s. I checked this morning and I saw them on both eBay and Amazon. They are skinny little volumes so they won’t take up much room. Originally they were very inexpensive. Now they are collectible but they aren’t beyond anyone’s reach you just have to check the listings. I have seen them for sale in both paperback and hardcover format.

I have all of the Bolands’ books (they were a mother and daughter) including Gardeners’ Lore: Plantings Potions and Practical Wisdom.

I will note that I discovered this morning there is also an edition of the first two books which combines the first two volumes into one.

I guess that the moral to this story is don’t overlook the vintage and older gardening books. Like older and vintage cookbooks you find things in these books you don’t see any place else. You learn the practical magic of gardening that our grandparents knew.

The last word I will have in this post is if you live in the Chester County area, the best place I have found locally to consistently uncover old and vintage gardening books is Baldwin’s Book Barn in West Chester. Have a great day….spring is coming!