Tag Archives: grief

grief

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I spoke to a friend today that I had not spoken to in a couple of years. She lives pretty far away ,and life just gets in the way and you don’t connect as much as you should.

She had put up a post on her Facebook page that she had decided she was leaving social media, and if you wish to stay connected, to message her basically in the next few days and swap other methods of staying in touch. So I did.

She had never been a big social media person to begin with, and so it did not completely surprise me that she was leaving social media.

I received a message back today. In the message, she told me that she became a widow last year. And it literally took her a year before she could talk about it. She apologized for not letting people know, and I said you have nothing to apologize for. We know it’s true that grief has its own roadmap with each person who experiences it, don’t we?

So I decided the hell with it and I picked up the phone and called her. I just didn’t want to convey “I’m sorry” in a message.

I’m glad I did call. This is someone who had meant a lot to me growing up and still did as an adult. She was one of my teachers.

I could feel the grief through the phone and it was palatable. And there’s nothing I can do other than listen or say I’m sorry, and that really is a horrible feeling and feels oddly insufficient. But it’s not about us as we’re trying to comfort people we care about. It’s about the people going through these steps of grief isn’t it? Nevertheless, it’s still hard.

I think as we age and we are confronted with these various losses. It gives us pause. You step back and you reflect and God forgive me, but you think to yourself, I’m so glad that’s not me.

Grief is not easy or necessarily kind, and every human being has to go through it at their own pace. But also, as fellow humans, we want to take some of that grief away from these people we care about only we can’t because it’s a process and it’s the beginning of life, and then the end of life. And then you wonder what happened to all the time in between?

And I think that’s the hardest part. Life goes by in an instant. It’s really not an instant it’s years and years but it’s fast.

I hate when friends and family are wound up in a world of hurt. You want to make it better, but all you can do is listen and be there.

I think it’s just one of those weeks.

Another friend of mine lost a dog yesterday and it was another one of those wonderful once in a lifetime dogs that you don’t meet very often. No one‘s really sure I think in the end what precisely happened, but she went down in a week.

Having lost one of my favorite dogs not all that long ago, I know that helpless feeling. And the ache in your heart that threatens to overwhelm you as your beloved pet draws their last breath.

Grief. It’s one of those things that does takes your breath away. It’s one of those things that if you’re not careful, just steals your very soul.

Sending prayers to both of these friends.

That’s all I have today.

a beautiful children’s book 26 years in the making

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Giants “A Children’s Grief Story

When somebody tells you that their newly published book was 26 years in the making it really makes you want to stop and think

Giants A Children’s Grief Story by A.E. McIntyre and ElisaBeth Steins is that book. I will let the author A.E. McIntyre speak for himself:

I am proud to announce that Giants “A Children’s Grief Story,” is now available for purchase. This story is 26 years in the making.
Thank you to my incredibly talented childhood friend and artist Beth Steines whose illustrations brought this story to life. In 1994, I wrote the original draft of the story, one night in my college dorm room. Then I just filed it away.
Then in 1998, while attending a poetry class at WCU, Giants was mocked. The other students lampooned it, and thought I was trying to sound like a child. At the time, I didn’t have the courage to say, that indeed, the little boy inside of me had in fact written the story. So then I filed it away.
Then, three years ago, my brother died and it all came back to me once more. So on a bike ride I thought, “I need to write a children’s story about grief,” almost forgetting that I already had. It was then, when a friend Kelly encouraged me to write a second half to the original story.
No one but Beth and I, my editor and Beehive Book Design have read the complete story until now…while the original version of “Giants,” is in the beginning of my book, “Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall, A Life from Moment to Moment.” And then, I filed Giants away again.
Then, two years ago, my daughters school friend lost her father, and once more, I committed myself to trying to turn Giants into a reality. Soon after, Beth signed on as my illustrator. Giants was originally intended for children, but really, it’s a book for adults too. And I am trying to honor all of those adults out there, who also lost their parents too soon.
Very recently, a dear friend of mine passed suddenly, and much like the boy in the story, I found myself facing the same questions about God and Heaven, and whether my friend was now at peace with God? And then I realized, the questions this little boy must face, are the very same questions, that each of us must face, when we lose loved ones, even as adults.
Now… Knowing how hard this is in adulthood, now……imagine for a moment just how hard it is to lose a parent when you are just a child. Thank you!

I wish this book has been around when my niece and nephew were very small children and their father died in 3 1/2 weeks from a vicious pleural mesothelioma a few days before Christmas in 2010.

If you are interested in ordering this book please follow the link to Amazon.

I think this book is a beautiful thing.