Tag Archives: influencers

whichever way the wind blows is wrong.

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“Hey look, we’re having a snow squall!”

“You can’t say that about the weather! How can you say that about the weather you horrible human being!”

The above sounds silly doesn’t it? Sadly it happens every day, especially on social media.

There are people who blather on, including on other blogs, about “civility.” Quite truthfully, they wouldn’t know civility if it bit them on the ass.

In today’s world, civility, really only truly exists if you are agreeing with someone else’s point of view 100%. And it has to be an approved point of view and if any of the great unwashed hordes on the Internet are not comfortable with your opinion, look out.

As a blogger, I have this happen to me a lot. You either are with them, or if you don’t agree with them, you’re against them.… and verbally you will be beaten to a pulp as soon as they are able to get to their keyboard or to their phone, etc.

It’s ridiculous.

Truly.

Usually it’s the Stepford Bobbleheads of Klanned Karenhood, but not always. There are people who just lack basic reading comprehension. Then there are people who just don’t like it because your opinion is different from theirs, or you said something out loud that people think. Or expressing an individual opinion makes them uncomfortable.

Recently, it’s because I have said a bar called the Brickette Lounge on Pottstown Pike in West Whiteland and West Goshen is being a bad neighbor under it’s new ownership. And the funny thing about that is there are plenty of neighbors saying the same thing, but I am the one who is targeted. So is that by design and are people being sent to harass me? It’s not actually paranoia it’s a reasonable question and general curiosity.

I will note AGAIN that no one is asking for them to close. All neighbors want is for them and their patrons to be considerate and not put neighbors or themselves at risk with the crazy parking and post bar behaviors.

The Brickette could actually do all sorts of things to help with the parking issues:

(1) They could obtain use of a satellite parking lot and operate a shuttle to get overflow patrons back-and-forth.

(2) They could do ticketed events on Eventbrite and it’s not because they’re charging a cover charge per se. It’s a means of crowd control and when they sell the number of tickets that meets their occupancy inside for guests, they stop selling tickets.

(3) Along with asking people to carpool and Uber, if people can prove this, they offer them a little incentive for doing so. Like a percentage off a meal or something.

(4) They have folks at the door right? Are they counting the number of people coming in and stopping when occupancy is reached?

But no, I am completely un-American because I’m daring to talk about this. And the more I’m targeted, the more I’ll talk about it because that says to me that there actually is a problem to be fixed. Someone actually rolled up on my blog’s Facebook page and tried to insert an argument literally on the price of eggs into this. I still don’t have the answer to my question which is what does the price of eggs have to do with this issue?

I mean, if I’m wrong, just prove me wrong, right? It’s a simple enough thing prove that everything is being done to try to make sure the neighbors aren’t detrimentally affected, right ? And apparently the only ones who are trying their best are the people at West Whiteland Township. And the funny thing is where this is located, part of the property is also in West Goshen Township so given the number of cars stretching down Pottstown Pike, and into these neighborhoods where is West Goshen on this or don’t they care? Because they generally speaking adopt an attitude of most things where they don’t answer questions and they don’t care, right?

And I’m sure I will take grief for saying that as well. Basically it seems like anything I say is wrong it’s literally like whichever way the wind is blowing is wrong.

So tell me again about all these people who are so concerned about “civility?”

I don’t think people know how to be civil anymore. It’s really hard to have a conversation that’s normal outside your immediate circle, and even inside your immediate circle it’s not necessarily good.

I was speaking to a friend who had to have an uncomfortable conversation with someone, and that person could not listen or be an adult in the conversation and they basically had to flip out and curse. So my friend subsequently said that just makes it simple and she doesn’t want to be around people who behave like that. I actually concur.

When nonsense starts these days, I find myself less and less wishing to try to speak with someone and talk and discuss something rationally. For the most part, when these people come in guns, a blazing, I don’t want to have a reasonable conversation, so there’s no point. So I don’t.

I run a gifting group on Facebook. The gifting group came up in another group, and someone who had been removed from the gifting group chimed in. I basically said to that person they have no personal accountability. They were in the group twice and removed twice. And they weren’t even removed by me.

Next this person goes on this whole mini tantrum about I have to show them when and where exactly and I am looking at what they’re writing and thinking this was almost two years ago and they’re still hung up on it? Just wow.

And it’s funny you try to not react to these things and respond, rationally and levelly. But most of the time it doesn’t matter because sometimes I feel like the more calm and explanatory you are, the more these people just want to argue. so I find myself utilizing one of the best things that you’re given as a tool on social media: blocking. It’s sanity control.

But blocking presents its own issues. I remember a bunch of years ago I was in this community group where I used to live, and when I joined Facebook, there were people I know in the real world that I simply did not care for so when I joined Facebook, I just blocked them because that way we didn’t have to interact with each other.

So there I am in this group, and it was a group I wasn’t super participatory in. Mostly I just read stuff but there was literally this one post someone asking for a plumber, so I added a comment. The next thing I know I have this admin/group page owner contacting me that people are complaining because I blocked them in the group. I laughed, and I said they’re not admins or a group and page owner, I blocked them when I joined Facebook because I chose not to interact with them because I know we don’t get along in the real world.

Well, the woman who runs this group says to me you can’t block people in my group. And I said I am not blocking the people who run the group, I am blocking people I don’t wish to interact with because it’s always negative, and I learned that not from social media, but from encountering them in the real world. Her reply? They’re giving her a hard time so I can’t be in the group if I am going to block them. I just laughed at her with the absurdity of it, and that was the end of my participation in that group, and I haven’t missed it for a decade. And I still block those original people that I blocked when I joined Facebook.

And that brings me full circle to people on social media. There are so many people that think you should just have a conversation with them whether it’s via comments or they are messaging you or trying to call you. These people in a lot of cases have zero boundaries.

Sociologically, this is fascinating. There are people that I have blocked on one social media outlet who will try every single other outlet to try to connect with me. And why do they have to even connect with me? We have no commonality and we don’t need to be friends.

Remember the good old days before social media when you could just choose to pretend people weren’t around, and they weren’t in your world and that was fine and everybody went about their business?

And don’t get me started on creepy “influencers.” I am not talking about the Bravolebrity tarts or rejects from Batchelor / Batchelorette Island who are being paid to post something they probably don’t actually use is marvelous, I am talking about these people who are hangers on often on the fringes of our communities who do this all of the time. And a lot of the times I don’t even understand why they would be considered an influencer and what exactly is an influencer?

Aren’t we all influencers in our own right based upon what we like and don’t like? Or are we not allowed to say unless some company is paying us for our perspective or we have a gizillion followers that may or may not be purchased?

It’s a very weird world we live in, and then there’s the Internet and social media. Maybe we were better off before in some regards in spite of all the things that are helpful about the Internet and social media?

I don’t pretend to have all the answers. But what I do know is somebody somewhere will have a problem with this post.

Have a great evening!

influencers or just social media narcissists?

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I will preface this entire flowing stream of perhaps random thoughts and consciousness with yes, more people post on social media than not. This is not about the average everyday folk who post and use social media to stay connected to those perhaps living far away, or locally connected for whatever reason. I am talking about the incessant public look at me and my fabulous self posters….it’s not about doing good or even sharing is caring. I am talking about social media narcissism.

Yes, 2024 means we still have too many “influencers“.

I’m going to be honest maybe it’s me and I’m just getting too damn old but I don’t understand influencers any more than I understand overly trendy, which is something I have never gotten. What do they actually do except post pictures of themselves? Do you buy something because they talk about it on social media? Do you go to a restaurant because they went to it and took a picture and you’re not sure if they actually ate anything?

And we’re talking about random areas, not merely Los Angeles or New York City. So when you see these people sometimes you really want to reach into your phone or computer screen and virtually shake them because they don’t get that fashion is not merely putting on a designer label or something expensive. Part of what makes fashion fashion is style and most of them do not have either that or a good full length mirror. But then you realize narcissists aren’t probably going to listen to anything you say anyway so you have a good giggle and make a mental note for that old Glamour Magazine “don’t” column where they put a black box across faces for the magazine column.

Some of my favorites are the Instagram shots of those “influencers” who have these almost glassy eyed professionally bored shots playing with their food somewhat unnaturally. Do they actually like the food or is it just a shot for followers? Do they also not get that you can’t just squeeze a hat on one’s head like the lid to your Dutch oven?

Or the megawatt bad descriptive adjective laden shots of self proclaimed “public figures.” Everything is amazing and they have goals of removing toxic people from their lives but what will happen if they look in the mirror? Will said mirror crack and does it have a warranty?

And then there are all the lifestyle “influencers.” I’m wondering whose lifestyle they are influencing because I’m thinking their taste is all in their mouth most of the time. Even I know that looks I rocked at 25 don’t belong on my middle-aged self. I also know if I couldn’t wear something in my 20s I definitely couldn’t wear it in my 50s.

I don’t pretend to be an interior designer or an actual lifestyle or fashion expert, but I know gaudy and ostentatious when I see it, or just cheap. I do actually know some of those who are the real deal and I appreciate them. Of course they feel no need to bombard you with anything. They quietly show you what they’re doing and put it out there. And usually it’s a lesson in less is more.

If you are somewhat of a fireplug shape, you also shouldn’t wear what they keep calling ball skirts on Instagram. And for the record they’re not ball skirts. They look like the tulle undergarments that used to go under the skirt of a ballgown to give it extra fluff and body, but what would some of those people know from actual ballgowns? It’s like I thought wearing your underwear on the outside went out with Madonna’s early videos, but what do I know? You can find these skirts on Anthropologie‘s website and really cheaply from places like Amazon and Temu. When I kept seeing them, I actually looked them up because I was tired of seeing social media “influencers” wearing them. I mean, barf, it takes the fun out of how those skirts were intended except to me they still look like slips, etc.

And then there are the socially aspirational, who consider themselves influencers, and I still wouldn’t pay any amount of money to have a meal with them. What makes them an expert? What do they actually know about wine or cooking or entertaining? Again, just because you paid a couple bucks for something doesn’t mean it’s fabulous. It’s like the people who take a gardening course, proclaim themselves “master gardeners” but don’t actually plant anything so why bother?

And these “influencers“ are all over the area. Even if you don’t follow them, they buy ads and they pop up in your feeds. All they do in my humble opinion is contribute to the extraordinary lack of reality on social media in general. And none of these people get that just because they take thousands of selfies and are constantly posting on social media, it doesn’t make them society. More like gauche and obnoxious and obvious.

Among my favorites are the occasional giggles watching a fish lips bunch pose for photos. The Botox collaborative who can’t quite smile naturally because they have frozen face syndrome.

I’ve basically said before that the concept of actual society in Philadelphia is basically dead. It truly is. It kind of is in other areas too. Probably because society wasn’t just posing for photos. Today the concept of it is closer to look at us, and Andy Cohen we are ready for our Bravolebrity Real Housewives close up.

Seriously, these perennial selfie posers just don’t understand is what they are doing is not actually society, it’s merely what they think it should be. These influencer types simply don’t get that was not what society used to be about. Yes, it was about pretty dresses and gracious living but those photos and those events? Good was accomplished and the actual event itself was always centerstage, and the nonprofit having funds raised for it.

And the thing about these old events is the actual media would be invited to events and they would be on a press list just like the guests were on a guest list. But it wasn’t garish and it wasn’t grotesque. And the gowns/dresses were awesome and they fit because after we bought them they were tailored as necessary.

When I started to see the influence of the new people in, shall we say…polite society…. it was at the Academy of Music, and it was Opening Night for The Philadelphia Orchestra, which used to be a big deal. There were young friends parties, (I was actually chair of Young Friends for The Philadelphia Orchestra for a few years) and there were varying levels of adult parties and people got dressed up. Beautiful black tie, and white tie that came out for the now defunct Academy Ball. Guests went to dinner, they came to the concert, and they knew how to behave.

“Back in the day” I was among other things Co-chair of the Young Friends of the Philadelphia Orchestra, Opening Night 1996. This was one of the Philadelphia Orchestra strike years. The concert was canceled, but the party went on. Ours that year was at the Rittenhouse Hotel. That was also the year the more mature ladies on the Opening Night Gala Committee tried to make us fold our party into the other two parties. We declined. Ours was the better party that night as was evidenced by the crashers from the other parties 🤣 including then Inquirer music critic Daniel Webster and then Society Editor David Iams. It was a fun night and I loved that dress. Of course it was when black tie was still truly elegant.

How I knew it was changing was when it started to get more corporate for a lack of a better description. People started bring alcohol in plastic cups into the interior of the Academy of Music, which is one of the oldest theaters in constant use in the country (doubled as a NYC theatre the series The Gilded Age in the recent season) and you’re not supposed to do that. These people were also talking during the performance and didn’t even turn off their phones.

That’s when I stopped going to a lot of those events. There were smaller events I would still go to after that, but today? I don’t find any joy in them so much anymore. I used to love them. It was so much fun getting dressed up, putting on a beautiful black tie dress or gown. It was kind of like living Cinderella moments . It was so much fun. Great people to talk to. But when it stopped being fun and people stopped volunteering for the right reasons, I decided I would find other things to do. You see, it got to the point where people wanted to have their name on an invitation, but not actually put in the volunteer hours.

And it’s gotten worse because last year I went to an event at the Kimmel Center, where someone took off their shoes and put their bare feet up on the backs of the seats in front of them. That was enough to make you vomit for sure.

The other thing is people stopped being able to have conversations at these events. It’s like with the onset of social media. People are no longer able to have actual conversations. It’s becoming a lost art form.

A friend of mine, who is a writer, said to me recently that she doesn’t go to a lot of these events that they are also inviting all the “influencers” to for just that reason. Basically, she said, you go to those events, and these people are only interested in two things: photos for their socials and talking about themselves. Other than that, for the most part, they’re kind of rude and dismissive. And manners are one of those things that transcend social classes and groups, you either have them or you don’t and today it’s more don’t than have. It’s kind of sad.

I could go on but I won’t. I realize life doesn’t exist in a bubble and things change and evolve, but sometimes things don’t change for the better. And for all the good that social media can accomplish, it seems to be that that the can do good aspect of it is more and more forgotten and I think it’s sad.

Enjoy the snow.