oh look mom, it’s freedom to be a jackass day in exton

Moms Against Suffocating Kids. You just can’t make this stuff up.

How about Kids Against Suffocating Moms?

First of all, personally I am too damn old to protest in the rain. Secondly it’s SUNDAY, don’t they have anything else to do? Thirdly what do they think will happen because they stood in the rain outside a mall on Route 100 at Route 30? Literally no one blink their lights or beeped the horns in support. The people in the car next to us were laughing hysterically.

Also there is that whole thing about respecting our beautiful United States flag and not flying it in inclement weather? So Captain America, do you not respect our flag enough? The flag, our flag, should not be subject to weather damage. Maybe that is an all weather flag, but still? There are actually federal guidelines. How is this even a flag-bearing occasion?

Honestly, you can’t make this stuff up. I would say they should volunteer on a pediatric ward for kids with COVID but who knows if they even have shots?

Shaking my head….just shaking my head….

the dysfunctional states of america.

Storm clouds have arrived again on all of our horizons.

What is this world today in which we live? I actually ask myself that question because in spite of my friends and family, the world outside is ugly and out of control so much of the time.

At the bottom of this post is the UN-school board meeting in Great Valley from last evening. It was not the scheduled meeting of the Great Valley School District, these people stormed the meeting, disinformation in hand, were nasty and angry and took over a meeting of a large school board. The recording missed a lot of the angry and pejorative comments, and some even wrote to me how this was just a “community discussion.” Oh hell to the no. No business of the Great Valley School Board was conducted, just air time for the ill informed.

Among the ill informed, nurses. That blows my mind. One of the ill informed nurses is a Republican candidate for Great Valley School District, Sallie Campbell. She read a Psalm (Psalm 27) at a public school meeting. Separation of church and state much? She also tried to use that phrase “color blind”, and if she really understood what racism was, she wouldn’t use that phrase, would she? (See 1:12:36) She is a complete nut. She also doesn’t seem to understand she is running for political office and people can indeed comment on her demeanor as a candidate. She is mock worthy to a level that Saturday Night Live could make a skit about her.

Unionville Chaddsford School District also apparently had a similarly disruptive school board meeting. Other people elsewhere are reporting similar behavior at school board meetings everywhere. West Chester Area School District is also having issues.

This behavior is not acceptable and these adults are not misbehaving on behalf of the welfare of the children. This is all about them.

What happened last night was completely abhorrent and unacceptable. Given the angry and disrespectful people except I wondered why theycould not have had some of those people removed for being disruptive at a public meeting?

The behavior, expletives, and pejorative comments directed at the school board were a bit much (“pussies” “little bitches” whatever all grossly inappropriate.) As were the comments directed at those attending from the public who were wearing masks, some of whom were friends of mine. Some yelled at these people saying they were “retarded” (yes that word was used) and were wearing “face diapers”. Also other comments that had unpleasant racist connotations. None of that is OK.

I am not naïve and I have seen many a heated school board meeting but none where in essence people operating with disinformation in hand exhibiting mob mentality literally took over a school board meeting and had a non-sanctioned meeting. Some described it as a “community conversation” or other such drivel. It was not. And it prevented the business of a large school district from progressing. As a taxpayer, I object to that. If they want to have a “community conversation” they can go rent a hall or meeting space.

Do I like wearing a mask? Honestly no, but it is a small inconvenience in the bigger picture.

And the bigger picture is simple: if we suffer from large enough COVID resurgences, the reality is we go back to lock-down, and kids are deprived of the normalcy of everyday school they were deprived of in 2020.

The ugliness in this country as a whole right now again, is staggering. The behavior of some, simply appalling. Its like social mores no longer exist. I realized that even after lockdowns lifted I personally started going out less and less because I don’t wish to deal with the anger and vitriol that permeates everyday life. And I have to ask, how do our kids view all of this?

Today I feel world weary. And sad. And I am not a depressant. It’s watching how human beings are treating each other. I mean I am a realist and don’t expect world peace by the end of the summer, but I really wish for less ugliness in our communities. Next week the anti maskers anti vaxxers are taking their road show to a Tredyffrin Eattown School Board meeting and is any of this about the kids or just the egos of the parents?

And I am tired, so tired of the politics of political bullshit. Yes I cursed, but it is beyond ridiculous. I realized the other day I never hear anymore from some I used to speak with quite frequently. And I think it is because politically we have moved apart, and I am not exactly super liberal. But I don’t subscribe to the cult of fake news and 45 was Jesus with a bad rug. And it breaks my heart that intelligent people literally take fake news as the Gospel. (And I have to ask is it wrong to feel slightly gleeful that nasty Texas Governor Greg Abbott has tested positive for COVID? Asking for a friend.)

Also I have something for you all to read:

Philadelphia Magazine: The Return of COVID Restrictions Proves That Unvaccinated Lives Matter. Those complaining about personal freedom being suppressed by new COVID rules are ignoring one thing: These very restrictions they loathe are here to keep them alive. By ERNEST OWENS· 8/12/2021

At 57 I find myself yearning for simpler days, or maybe some of the innocence of childhood where we didn’t notice the ugliness of the overall world permeating our day to day existence. But I guess that isn’t possible and I will just keep on keeping on… and gardening. Yes gardening. It’s a happy thing devoid of craziness except what is found in nature.

Yes I know we can only control our own behavior, but it is hard to swallow some days how the behavior of others affects us. Common sense and most aspects of a sense of decorum no longer exists at all.

Be safe and be peaceful out there. And garden more.

a wish and a prayer

What a grey, miserable, damp, dark day. In a year where many of us have too much time alone with our own thoughts, today’s atmosphere makes it a day to hibernate and ponder, doesn’t it?

Spotify has this time capsule playlist. Listening to it has made me reflective and a little pensive. Right now Simply Red “Holding back The Years” is playing.

Lyrics
 Holding back the years
 Thinking of the fear I've had so long
 When somebody hears
 Listen to the fear that's gone
 Strangled by the wishes of pater
 Hoping for the arms of mater
 Get to me the sooner or later
 Holding back the tears
 Chance for me to escape from all I know
 Holding back the tears
 'Cause nothing here has grown
 I've wasted all my tears
 Wasted all those years
 Nothing had the chance to be good
 Nothing ever could, yeah
 I'll keep holding on
 I'll keep holding on
 I'll keep holding on
 I'll keep holding on, so tight
 Well I've wasted all my tears
 Wasted all of those years
 And nothing had the chance to be good
 'Cause nothing ever could
 I'll keep holding on
 I'll keep holding on
 I'll keep holding on
 I'll keep holding on
 Holding
 Holding
 Holding
 Holding
 I said
 It's all I have today
 It's all I have to say

Those lyrics are still profound, maybe moreso. It makes me think of the friends I have lost. Bright lights, but they burned too fast. One overdosing thanks to addictions they would not admit to, another to I think that their body just giving out after years of substance abuse even though they cleaned up their act for decades. One although still technically alive, had her life end when she wrapped herself around a tree one night…very intoxicated. There was even one who “fell” off their apartment balcony in NYC. There are sadly more, but these are the ones who come to mind.

Now the one in the massive drunk driving incident? She is still alive as far as I know but the traumatic brain injuries at the time essentially made her a child once again, with a child’s memories. So essentially, after the accident she didn’t know who I was, it was like she was a kid again and her memories just didn’t exist after a point. And her parents quite frankly did not make it easy for you to visit and she was also a paraplegic in a wheelchair, so I was young and eventually just stopped going. I still think of her often. She was such a good person and so bright. But one night, someone gave her the keys to her car back after they had been taken away. She would have been an awesome mom, I think, and we will also never know what trajectories her career would have skyrocketed to.

Damned if I know why I still think of all of these people, but I do. I think because I don’t think they would have had a easy time living through 2020. I mean, look at the rest of us, right? None of us are perfect, and even with the blessings our lives have, it’s one damn hard, stressful, sad year.

I have written about this before during 2020, but it all seems to be coming to a head again: COVID19, racism, truly ugly politics, and more. If these friends had survived, where would they be?

It also makes me think of people whom I am no longer connected to by my choice mainly, but sometimes theirs. One in particular whom I felt was so alone before 2020. The thing 2020 has taught a lot of us is the sad lesson that although we should have compassion for the struggles of others, we need to be mindful of our own families first. So what happens to these people? Do they just fall between the cracks of life?

Lyrics
 Has anyone ever written anything for you
 In all your darkest hours
 Have you ever heard me sing
 Listen to me now
 You know I'd rather be alone
 Than be without you
 Don't you know
 Has anyone ever given anything to you
 In your darkest hours
 Did you ever give it back
 Well, I have
 I have given that to you
 If it's all I ever do
 This is your song
 And the rain comes down
 There's no pain and there's no doubt
 It was easy to say
 I believed in you everyday
 If not for me
 Then do it for the world
 Has anyone ever written anything for you
 In your darkest sorrow
 Did you ever hear me sing
 Listen to me now
 You know I'd rather be alone
 Than be without you
 Don't you know
 So, if not for me, then
 Do it for yourself
 If not for me then
 Do it for the world
 Poet priest of nothing
 Poet priest of nothing
 Source: LyricFind
 Songwriters: Stevie Nicks / Keith Olsen

Yesterday I posted “A lot of people are struggling right now. This has been a crazy tough year. Send up a prayer to mankind so that people know they are loved.

I mean that. But where I am conflicted is some people I know who are struggling have to find the inner steel to climb out of the hole they have dug for themselves, all by themselves…as in we can’t do it for them or enable them in any way. And for so many people right now that seems an impossible feat. Why? Because 2020 is the year the unimaginable is happening…every damn day.

And then there are the people who want to climb out of the self-dug hole but say “It’s hard, I tried.” No sugarpuffs, life can be damn hard. But please, do it for yourself and those who love you. But will they? I don’t know. I hope so, but I don’t know.

2020 is the year of self-conflict (in a sense and I will explain.I think. I hope.) Human beings are not stand alone beings necessarily. We need each other. But COVID19 is isolating a lot of us. Some of us could really use a hug or just human contact. But there is the whole virus thing. Today I gave a friend a hug. I kinda know where she has been and what she was up to. She needed a hug. Maybe I did too. Not sure.

I have days where I just marvel at people. Especially on social media. It’s like normal social media has morphed into this whole virtual mean girls platform on steroids. People are just online assassins some days, and often you have to wonder for what? Because you are different from them?

And then there are the people who in the face of 2020 seem to have to post additionally how marvelously their lives are….and you know their lives are anything but happy, and wonder why can’t people admit when they are having bad days or a series of bad days? Would it be so bad? To me it’s preferable to living the grand illusion.

And the people who are struggling? Sadly now you can start to recognize it. So much of our life has become virtual, that you can see far more easily when the cracks are showing. So what do you do? You try to be there…but this is a year we also have to be there for ourselves and our own families.

There are people you would never think suffered from depression…who are. And people who prior to this kept their issues to themselves, but because of COVID19, life is just extra scary. And then there are yes the people who are milking 2020 to get as much free stuff out of people as possible. That really bothers me. And no, not being jaded, it is happening quite a bit.

There are many people I know who are sick or who have been sick. No not COVID19. Just other horrible stuff, like the ever popular Russian Roulette of step up and pick a cancer.

It feels like every day you hear something crazy. I just heard about the barn fire in West Pikeland Township on Yellow Springs Road. It had all of the sets, tools and supplies for the SALT Performing Arts. They do wonderful things and the arts are so at risk thanks to the economic downturn because of COVID19, and prior changes to tax codes that affect charitable donations. If you can give SALT Performing Arts a donation, please do. No homes were lost and no one was hurt, but wow what a blow. Do they do old fashioned barn-raisings anymore? I hope they do because I think that was probably a historic barn too. And don’t forget your local volunteer fire companies and first responders. They are our heroes in ordinary time.

We all just need a break from 2020, I think. Except I also feel 2020 has made us pause for the self reflection that makes us appreciate what we do have. I feel very grateful for my life and family…yes even when they are driving me crazy. (Like the one playing video games loudly a room over from the home office I am typing this in.)

2020 has just been one exceptionally crazy year for the annals of history. It will be the year we all remember with far more detail then the future will want us to. But what will we learn from all of this? I mean we certainly won’t forget the year from hell known as 2020.

I hope you appreciate I made it through the post without mentioning a certain malignant narcissist occupying 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Like all narcissists he hates when things aren’t about him, so the parting shot? #VOTE like your life and country depends upon it…because it does.

Stay safe out there and check in on people.

friend time

This weekend we had a socially distanced dinner with some of our high school friends outside on the porch at Stonewall Golf Club and it was so lovely. This afternoon I sat on our deck with another one of my friends from high school and we did wine and cheese. We have a long patio table on the deck and my friend and I sat at opposite ends of the table and enjoyed a beautiful afternoon and caught up.

One of the cheeses was amazing. A new discovery out of New York State from Nettle Meadow Farm. Kunick cheese. And the wine if you are interested was an Alsatian Pinot Blanc from Trimbach. (But I digress.)

My point is we have become so seclusionist that we might talk to each other on the phone or message or text, but that whole human connection is missing thanks to COVID19. After this weekend , I kind of feel like a new woman.

I did not realize how truly important human, in-person connection is until you have it after months of not having it.

Now COVID19 is not going anywhere fast, so we have to keep being safe. But we definitely have to have small doses of seeing the people in our lives.

My family and I have been sticking to ourselves. We sort of see neighbors occasionally at a distance but it hasn’t been much else than that. And the more you stay home, the more afraid to go out you become.

I am completely leery of being out in public and when we are out it’s masks, wipes, hand sanitizer and praying that person in the grocery store not wearing the mask will actually get it and stay 6 feet away. But people are so inconsistent in public, or inconsiderate (take your pick) that it makes you want to stay home.

And the more you stay home, especially if you are immunocompromised, the more anxious you are being around even your friends. It’s a vicious cycle. And then there is the artificial existence of social media. My friend commented on that, along with all the comments you see go by on Facebook that makes you want to correct for grammar and spelling that totally made me giggle because it’s true.

The COVID19 world is hard. And not just in your own sphere. I had a nice lady message my blog’s Facebook page. She was from Chester, England. COVID19 is making her feel isolated. She thought we were Chester County as somewhere in the UK. She was looking to connect with people to feel less alone. That kind of resonates, doesn’t it?

Anyway I just didn’t realize the own hum of my existence of being lacking and shut off until this weekend. And then because I had a couple little doses of friend time, I feel almost rejuvenated. I feel up, and alert, and positive.

We need to stay connected to keep our sanity through this. It can’t just be a virtual life we live on social media.

Hope you all had a great weekend. Thanks for stopping by.

covid fatigue

Bleak Ruin

COVID19 fatigue. I am thinking it’s a real thing. No, not talking about people being fatigued after recovering from COVID19, I am talking about being on mental and emotional overload without really realizing it.

I don’t know about you, but I’m just tired of it all. I’m tired of wearing masks but I know I have to wear one.

I’m tired of having a hard time finding masks that actually fit because a lot of them aren’t adjustable.

I’m tired of trying to do things like find disinfectant wipes or even a blessed can of Lysol spray because they are either out of stock or someone is price gouging.

I am tired of not feeling comfortable enough to go do my own shopping in the grocery store because I live an immunocompromised life and the few times I have been out there are so many people that will stand within close proximity to other people not wearing a mask it sort of freaks you out.

I am tired of not seeing my friends and I don’t even go out that much. But it’s summer and it’s the time when you enjoy your friends company and you do cookouts and you go on vacation together. Whatever your routine, it no longer exists.

I am tired of watching all my friends with school-age kids and kids in general worry. It’s summertime kids are supposed to be able to play outside with abandon, go to summer camp, have sleepovers, and a lot of that isn’t occurring.

I was talking to a friend yesterday who said her children don’t even want to do online anything at this point because they are so tired of virtual everything they want real life again. I totally get it. Last week I did a historic “walking tour“ of West Chester, only it was virtual. It wasn’t that it wasn’t interesting, but I realized how much I would’ve loved it being in the town with a group of people on a tour and my camera instead of on a zoom virtual event.

With a few of my friends in particular I’ve seen very little of and it’s just because of what’s going on. Normally this time of year we will have our little summer day trips together where we go and look at antique stores, or walk around say Kennett Square and have lunch, go to a Life’s Patina opening, or to the herb sale or art show at Historic Yellow Springs but we haven’t really seen each other. It’s not because we’re mad at each other or anything like that it’s all because of COVID-19. I haven’t even gone to see the goats this year at Yellow Springs Farm because of COVID19.

We live in a world where we are all holed up in our own little universes. And how can we feel safe out in the world when COVID19 cases keep spiking and people are partying like it’s 1999 with complete abandon and disregard (cue the dumb ass college students at Villanova University.) And oh for God’s sake yes I remember that age and outside summer parties where where it was at, but we didn’t have a global pandemic to contend with.

I am watching via social media my friends dropping off their children at college. And I know they’re trying to put up a good front, but at the same time I know they are concerned because going out into the world with #COVIDidiots can be a problem.

I know people who are keeping their kids home this semester, I know people whose kids want to stay home this semester because they’re afraid of how their schools are approaching COVID19. I know people who are choosing to essentially homeschool their children for the year because they’re not comfortable with whatever it is their school districts are doing wherever they live.

I know plenty of people who are economically stressed right now because of all the additional expenses involved with COVID19. And then there are those who have taken pay cuts and been laid off. And then there is the whole category of my many friends who own small businesses who are just trying to stay afloat.

Meanwhile, a chain restaurant along the Main Line which closed a few years ago got COVID19 money. Bucca di Beppo. And it closed around 2013!

We can’t even go visit our natural resources without worry. And we have Energy Transfer / Sunoco /Sunoco Logistics for that. They polluted Marsh Creek Lake. And oh yes it’s a water source.

People are snapping out at friends and family. It’s COVID19 stress. Then add the stress of this country’s current political nightmare. We have a president who is essentially trying to dismantle the United States Postal Service. Because he doesn’t want to be honest about COVID19 but he doesn’t want to lose the election either so he wants to screw up our ability to vote by mail. Yes I believe the political stress caused by a toxic president who acts like a malignant narcissist adds to all of this COVID19 fatigue as well.

Add to this all of the weird weather. We keep having storms which feel like biblical proportions that do all sorts of damage in a time where we’re really searching for a little good news. Even if you deliberately try to avoid the news these days, you can’t avoid the news these days. like among today’s headlines is the fact that the United States has surpassed 170,000 deaths from COVID19.

Personally, I’m kind of over 2020. This adulting stuff is hard this year. It’s ridiculous. Try to keep the faith, people. It’s like our only option.

UC Davis Health Newsroom
NEWS | July 7, 2020
“COVID fatigue” is hitting hard
. Fighting it is hard, too, says UC Davis Health psychologist
It’s time to develop coping skills, which include exercise and talking about our fears and stress.

Washington Post: Health
With no end to the pandemic in sight, coronavirus fatigue grips America
. By Brady Dennis, Jeremy Duda and Joel Achenbach
August 11, 2020 at 8:00 a.m. EDT

Press Democrat: Running on empty: How the pandemic has left many of us feeling cranky MEG MCCONAHEY THE PRESS DEMOCRAT
August 14, 2020, 3:31PM

the seemingly unending covid19 mess of it all

I don’t know about all of you , but this is so unnerving what we are dealing with. I am referring to COVID19. And 2020 in general.

As our communities struggle with how and what school districts are doing, many in our communities are making excellent points. Someone said to me if all school districts start virtually how are they possibly going to switch to in person? What is the magic combination? What is going to be different in October that they are suddenly going to feel it is safer? She said she felt that whoever goes virtual should be that way until January if not the end of the year, unless some schools actually go hybrid and it goes smoothly at those schools. She also pointed out a lot of schools which were contemplating hybrid are dropping off one by one.

Let’s start with the school districts who I think are trying but aren’t receiving consistent direction from any THEY answer to. First there is the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania to deal with and then there are Federal politics of the United States Secretary of Education Betsy De Vos because face it, she is allowing herself to be used because of the election. Old Betsy wasn’t appointed for anything other than political reasons so how can you trust that woman to decide what’s best for America’s children?

I think literally everything the school districts are dealing with is conflicting information. Then of course, they are also dealing with the sub-level politics within each school district.

Common sense and being more realistic would keep everyone virtual longer but we are dealing with politics over people on every level. And then there are the people who either can’t or just don’t want to homeschool their kids virtually. Economics, jobs, personal choice. It’s a hot mess.

And the problem overall? I don’t think the districts ever had disaster plans to cover any of this. Who knows if they should or shouldn’t have, NONE of expected this, and face it, ever since COVID19 has landed none of us have gotten consistent messages or direction from leadership in Washington DC.

Top down from the White House, they have tried all along to suppress information because of politics. People are dying and they are playing politics. The White House has been playing their agenda at the expense of everyone else and to the extent of trying to discredit their very highly educated experts because the experts are telling them they have to pay attention and do better that this COVID19 global pandemic is far from over.

People I know have lost family members to this virus. Other people I know are separated from family members because those family members are in states that are like big giant hotspots of COVID19.

Someone I know told me yesterday that one of their doctors lost a colleague to COVID19. A surgeon in their 30s or 40s. Not old or sick. This doctor also got COVID19 themselves early on from a patient who did not know they were carrying the virus. As this one doctor recovered they needed physical therapy because the virus caused some kind of movement imbalance.

But I guess the point to this long rant is nobody knows what’s going on and we’re all playing catch-up. And we’re dealing with misinformation and withheld information.

And this virus is affecting the economy. Except I think what is actually happening is it’s pointing out that the economy wasn’t so hot in the first place. Now everyone can hop all over me about that but I spent my life in the financial services industry. I’ve been around as the wheels have come off before.

And the day before yesterday I had to go to the bank only my bank branch is closed for renovations so I had to go to a bank branch for my bank in a supermarket. I haven’t been in a supermarket since March before COVID19 hit officially. I almost had a panic attack as I counted the people who weren’t socially distancing and weren’t wearing masks and didn’t have masks on their children. And were also crowding me. I went home and changed all my clothes, got a shower, and washed my hands multiple times.

I wish I had the magical answers to this problem, but as someone who like many of us out there lives an immunocompromised life, this stuff terrifies me.

Other countries who have been serious about containing this are doing much better now. But the overwhelming problem in this country when it comes to COVID19 from education to just going to the grocery store safely is the politics in this country. The toxic freaking politics.

I just wish we could learn more about what is going on honestly with the politics of it stripped away.

So many people are struggling. Salary cuts, job loss, losing their homes to crazy acts of mother nature. You name, it 2020 is mind boggling.

How do we come together and survive this? How do we usher the children safely back to school? What is safely back to school?

I can tell you I have almost gotten to the point where I don’t want to listen to the news or read newspapers anymore. Like many other people, I have moments where I struggle with all that is happening emotionally. You have to wonder why it is we are all being tested? Is it to make us stronger, teach us a lesson, what? You have to wonder if part of the answer is philosophical or theological.

I don’t have any answers I just have thoughts on the whole thing. And I don’t know if my thoughts are helpful to anyone. But I felt the need to write this out.

I guess we just have to try to continue to soldier along as best we can and try to make good decisions and stay healthy.

Thanks for stopping by.

#covid-idiots in chester county

Reader submitted photo dated today 5/14/2020

I will preface what I am about to say with I do NOT disagree with the fact that we need to take steps to get things open again. Only I don’t really know what that looks like because there are some businesses that are going to be harder than others to re-open because of the proximity employees have to customers like with restaurants, bars, hair salons and barbershops.

But the photo you see above taken today in West Chester downtown at the old courthouse is not how to do it.

I think these people are freaking idiots, truthfully.

They aren’t wearing masks they aren’t even social distancing. They are just waving “open” flags. These are the kind of people who are going to keep us closed longer because these are the kind of people who are going to catch COVID-19 or coronavirus by their behavior and spread it.

Do these people think they are actually going to sway elected officials with this protest today? They aren’t. But if any of them pop up with the virus we’re going to be closed longer.

It’s an actual global pandemic. It’s not some political tool to control us. I think this is ridiculous.

Sign me irritated by stupidity.

thoughts and a message of hope…from england

I have been watching less and less of the news. It’s a repeating loop of Coronavirus on steroids. Often we are not learning anything new, it is just a constant repeating of the horror the world is going through. But I think the biggest problem I have with this whole global pandemic and how it affects us here in the U.S. is what comes out of the White House.

That man we call President is not Presidential. I was even reminded of that last night when I watched a PBS special on the Roosevelts.

A couple of weeks ago I called my mother and she shooed me off the phone almost immediately. “The President is speaking . I can’t talk now.” But honestly, what is he saying? He spent weeks not really taking this whole #COVID-19 thing seriously. Then all of a sudden he says it’s a pandemic and he thought so all along. Then he works something in about campaigns and his administration. Then everything will be open by Easter, then everyone wear masks but he won’t. Then he talks about how many people are going to die from this virus. Then he talks over the medical experts at his press conferences annoyed that people are asking the actual medical professionals questions. “Didn’t I just answer that question?” (paraphrased) he angrily shot at a reporter who had recently directed a question to Dr. Anthony Fauci at a press conference.

We need a national leader about now. Trump isn’t leading. He’s an angry man child embodiment of chronic contradictions and a stunning lack of compassion and that brings no comfort. It makes me anxious. At first I was trying to watch the news conferences from Washington to look for information and leadership in a time of crisis. Coronavirus-time IS like war-time and we need a leader who gets it, who gets us as Americans. Not a quasi-dictatorial narcissistic man child who still blows up Twitter daily with his petty bulltwaddle and spelling, punctuation, and grammatical errors. Dude all of your Tweeting is bad for America.

Good thing there are people in this country like New York Governor Andrew Cuomo. He leads, he is authentic, and he is living this right along with everyone. That is actually comforting to me because my sister and her family as well as my stepbrother live in New York City. I have to tell you closer to home, I find the Philadelphia and surrounding counties news conferences and New Jersey’s news conferences make more sense.

And then there are people with their Marie Antoinette attitudes of let them eat cake. Like the guy in North Jersey who defied stay at home and social distancing orders and threw a giant Coronavirus booze fest party. He’s apparently now being charged for doing so. Good. And don’t forget the kids in the Pittsburgh area who had to have a giant blowout and where are their parents?

It’s like all of those whom suddenly define themselves as “constitutionalists” and why is government telling us what to do? That is simple: if we would all just stay the hell home they wouldn’t be telling us what to do. It’s like those who are all up in arms because churches are closed. Large gatherings spread viruses. Hello? The actual history of the 1918 influenza pandemic as an example? God does not expect us to die for him from coronavirus. Many churches are live-streaming and isn’t God or whomever you may believe in all around us? Ok maybe a theological conversation is too much for most on a Monday so we will leave this right there.

But it is because of all of this swirling crap that I have taken to tuning out the news and staying put and working in the garden more. Whether we want to or not, the fates have decided we are slowing down. (Apparently I am not the only one gardening article about victory gardens in The Philadelphia Inquirer today.)

But there is one leader who may God bless and keep her who is truly leading. Queen Elizabeth II of England. She gave her subjects comfort and hope in a time of crisis. She also gave the rest of the world comfort and hope. No angry tweeting about fake news and newspapers that have done her wrong. Talking to the people and offering support and comfort.

BBC News: Coronavirus: The Queen’s message seen by 24 million

About 24 million TV viewers watched the Queen’s broadcast to the nation on Sunday, according to overnight figures.
In a rare speech, the monarch thanked people for following government rules to stay at home and praised those “coming together to help others”.
The message was seen by 23.97 million viewers, making it the second most-watched broadcast this year….It was only the fifth time the Queen has given such a speech in her 68-year reign.
Her most recent Christmas Day message drew a combined overnight audience of 7.85 million.
In her speech on Sunday, the Queen said the UK “will succeed” in its fight against the coronavirus pandemic.
She thanked people for following government rules to stay inside and paid tribute to key workers for their efforts.
Speaking from Windsor Castle, the Queen said the pandemic was a “different” challenge compared to what the nation had faced before.
The message ended with the words “we will meet again” – an apparent reference to Dame Vera Lynn’s bolstering war anthem We’ll Meet Again.
The Queen’s four other special addresses were given in 1991, 1997, 2002 and 2012.

It was truly a beautiful thing to listen to her speak in this time. Say what you want about her and sometimes people criticize Queen Elizabeth but she knows how to lead in times of crisis. And it was just so good to hear a message that was realistic yet not full of gloom and doom. It was also good to hear a message that wasn’t all about them.

We will get through this. And it will take its toll. I hope we all get through unscathed but really it’s beyond our control at this point. We can only do our part and stay home. And if you have extra supplies to donate to first responders contact your local firehouse or hospital.

This weird time is giving us time to meaningfully connect with each other if we can stop and see the good in that. I also know it’s frustrating and scary. It makes you nervous. Trust me, I have felt all of those things. Especially because of the bombardment of so much news and the contradictory behavior coming out of Washington D.C.

One day at a time I think is the only way to handle the hot mess of Coronavirus. Yes much like a 12 step program, one day at a time. I will close with a quote from Teddy Roosevelt:

Rhetoric is a poor substitute for action, and we have trusted only to rhetoric. If we are really to be a great nation, we must not merely talk; we must act big.

#StayHome

more endings and beginnings

The other day I wrote a post called “whisper down the lane“. It wasn’t about me personally, it was more like life observations.

And yesterday, literally yesterday, a very dear friend told me something I did not want to hear, but had to. Someone else I considered a friend that I would like to say I was a good friend to and happy to know even when I did not agree with some of their behavior, had apparently had quite a bit to say about me that was quite unpleasant.

“They are not your friend”

You never want to hear that. Ever.

At the end of the day, it wasn’t the question of what was said, but that anything was said. Women always spill he proverbial tea. It’s the whole concept of a lack of loyalty to someone who was a decent friend, helped you out with some stuff here and there, and was someone who listened to you over the years when you needed someone to talk to…and who always kept what you said to myself. And in spite of what has transpired, I will continue to keep what was discussed to myself because that is what an actual friend does.

Women are bitchy. No other way to describe it. And when we should be supportive, truly supportive of one and other, we are instead tearing each other down. Living in the land of women needs constant translation and is like a field of land mines.

I am not perfect. I don’t pretend to be. But don’t ask me for an honest opinion on something and then kind of flip out on me when I tell you probably what you didn’t want to hear me say.

That was a year ago give or take with this person, but I just went on about my life afterwards. Why wouldn’t I? They asked me for my opinion after they asked me to listen to what was going on, I responded, they didn’t like it, and I put it out of my head. Not my monkeys, not my circus. Realistically, I figured things were maybe fading at that point. Which I also put out of my head probably subconsciously because I liked this person. The whole theory of reason, season, and lifetime where people in your life are concerned once again. It bothered me a little, but I figured whatever would happen would eventually happen.

Sadly, what happened is this. The whiff of friend betrayal and passive aggressive nastiness is slightly unsavory and unwarranted. And it’s mingled with a good dose of disappointment in a person that I initially thought was better than this, or at least more intelligent than this.

Sometimes people like to climb over others on that mythical race to the “top”. I always find that sad. I don’t judge my friends by their designer handbags and shoes or the size of their house or the make of their car or what they can do for me. It’s do I like them? Do I think they are good people? Do I enjoy having a conversation with them or hanging out with them? Do they pay it forward in this world? Are they interesting?

And the thing about “society” in any area of the country or world is you really do have to be invited in. If you are hungry about being accepted, or should I be kinder and say “motivated to be accepted”, careful on your climb. Why? Because this kind of behavior is what people remember. And eventually the fall can be hard and really hurt.

A dog that brings and carries the bone is kind of human nature but I find increasingly that people take issue with those who cannot display an iota of loyalty. Or kindness. Especially when they have been shown it. Again, not perfect, but I don’t betray friends or those who have shown me kindness. Essentially the Golden Rule or “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (Matt. 7:12)

So could I be miserable back? Sure. But why? When women do this to other women, generally speaking, they sadly already have enough issues or insecurities of their own. So I wish them well as I bid our friendship adieu. I am seeking to take the high road, so here’s hoping they find other things to talk about, or learn not to do this to others in general.

Humans are unnecessarily unkind to one and other so often . I hope this person got what she needed by putting me down. I hope they find what they need in life. I appreciate the time they were in my life except for this.

Tiens. Life goes on.