Norman Rockwell illustrations are perfect for back to school posts. I just love them. And yes, very VERY much days gone by.
Today’s topic is school lunch. Not the menu necessarily, but have school lunches improved really under Obama? While in some regards, yes, definitely, I have to wonder. I did however, find a recent article in Politico informative on that topic.
Our school starting this school year uses a company named Whitsons for lunches. Now interestingly enough I read an article in The Day out of Connecticut where one school district used to use this company and chose another called Chartwells because they felt they were getting healthier options at the same cost. The other thing about Chartwells is they believe in sustainability and for their school lunch programs they like to source food locally. Considering we live in a county that has amazing farms, and so do adjacent counties companies committed to supporting local agriculture and sourcing food locally is very appealing.
However, I will note no complaints thus far on the school lunches. The reports have been the food is a much higher quality and there is more variety and it is overall more tasty and much fresher. But this post really is not about the food service company used for school lunches because my research indicates that Whitsons has a very good solid reputation. What this post is really about is lunchtime scheduling.
Our son eats lunch at 10:30 a.m. every day. Not one or two days a week. Every day. He is a high school teenage boy. Eating lunch at 10:30 a.m. means by noon he is hungry and by the time he gets home, ready to pass out. The flip side is I hear of very young elementary school age children eating lunch at the same school at 1:30 p.m.
HUH? So yes, I will be once again buying protein bars so he can tuck one in his back pack for a snack, but that is not the point. The point is it is just too darn early in my opinion.
What time do your kids eat their lunch at school? And I will note there is no snack break or recess because it is high school. Friends I know who are either educators or in related fields say this is a common phenomenon with kids being starving by 1 p.m. or so.
I had thought we had been told last year that last year was the last year of lunch at breakfast time, and once this year rolled around, lunch would not be quite so early. Maybe if they alternated years so different sections of classes didn’t always get stuck with 10:30 a.m. or if it was only a couple of days a week I wouldn’t be complaining and writing this post.
So let’s talk school lunches. What time do your kids eat lunch and what do you think about the time they eat?
Do they like the school lunches or do they brown bag it? (It seems to me in general kids are not bringing their lunches as much as we did.)
When you are the parent of a teenager, unusual stories about teenagers make you sit up and listen. I am the step-parent of a teenage boy. I haven’t been at this for that many years, so as opposed to parents with more time logged under their belts, I might think about things more in some cases just because I don’t have that many years of life experience doing this.
And life experience is key here. Kids have life experience, and no one said they were dumb or without rights, but where do you draw the line between kids and adults? Adults do have more life experience, right? And we are supporting these kids emotionally, financially, and literally, so what if one kid really throws a curve ball? Do we wrap kids in cotton batting and keep them insulated from the world and reality, or do we let them experience life and make mistakes?
And then there is the battle of the sexes. My friends with teen girls always tell me boys are easier. I don’t have enough experience to know, but after something caught my eye on the news this morning, I might be rethinking that.
My experience with teenagers is limited personally to my friends’ kids, my nephew, and my stepson. I am learning to speak teenage boy…..slowly. It involves lots of patience, occasional piles of clothes on the floor, mono-syllabic conversations, fear of green vegetables, video games, things are never “cute”, and girls (although girls are not discussed).
Immediate family-wise, I am lucky. I have an amazing kid, and my nephew is an amazing kid. (Please note: My niece is not being deliberately left out here, she is just not a teenager yet even if she is the best fashion stylist in the family.) But how would any of us be if we were the parents of one Rachel Canning of New Jersey? This is what caught my eye this morning on the Today Show : the story of this girl suing her parents. Only this isn’t some cute ’80s move starring Drew Barrymore.
This is the story of a teenager who didn’t like the house rules and basically ran away, went to live with and be supported by a friend’s parents and is now 18 and suing her parents for money.
Rachel Canning, 18, claims her parents, Sean and Elizabeth Canning, threw her out of their Lincoln Park, N.J., home last year and stopped paying for her private high school, where she excelled as a cheerleader and lacrosse player. But Sean Canning says Rachel left voluntarily after she refused to abide by simple rules of the house.
But Sean and Elizabeth Canning say their “spoiled” college-bound daughter doesn’t live by their house rules and left the home because she didn’t like the law of the land — overseen by her father, a former Lincoln Park police chief.
The Morris Catholic High School senior and lacrosse player instead has lived at the Rockaway, N.J., home of a classmate, whose father, John Inglesino, has foot the bill for the suit.
It sounds like a bad Lifetime TV movie, doesn’t it? Only it’s not and it is happening up in Northern New Jersey. This girl, Rachel Canning is a senior it looks like at Morris Catholic High School. It also looks like she has two Facebook Pages. This one and this brand new one she has been posting on for a few hours. She has been posting comments she has been receiving. (For the record: no matter what she is trying to do she does not deserve to be called all sorts of vile and crude four letter words as that accomplishes nothing .)
So she isn’t getting along with her parents. Sounds like a teenager.
So the parents say they don’t want her partying, hanging out with a certain boy, and there are house rules. Sounds like parents.
So she runs away to a friend’s house. Sounds like teenage girl d-r-a-m-a.
So friend’s parents take up her cause, including living expenses and court costs? Ok, that sounds like over-stepping a bit? And the father of the best friend where she is living is according to media reports Former Morris County Freeholder John Inglesino? A politician and a lawyer? Why would he take this on? Does he have something against the parents? Does that sound normal to you? We’re not talking about the cool parents you can talk to once in a while, we are talking about the parents that call me crazy seem to want to take over someone else’s child?
I must admit that I am somewhat astounded at these other parents inserting themselves here. Are there real instances of abuse? Or are they just the type of parents of teens today more interested in being friends with their kids versus actual parenting?
Now look, we were all teenagers once. I remember one time in a fit of young teen drama like many other teens I told my mother I couldn’t stand it any more and was leaving. I still remember my mother’s response which was “use shopping bags from the grocery store, not the good luggage.” That really pissed me off, I slammed a couple of doors….but I came down for dinner a few hours later and all was forgiven.
I did not have the acceptably “cool” parents of the day. They didn’t throw us keg parties and they did things like called other parents before I went to a party to see if (a) parents were there (b) alcohol was being served. Needless to say, I missed a lot of parties. But at almost 50 I can say I am around to tell the tale.
Did I clash with my parents? Yes I did. What kid doesn’t? As a matter of fact, if I am brutally honest it has taken years to find the adult relationship with my mother I am actually comfortable with as an adult. And we still tangle on occasion. That is the nature of parents and children. It’s not always perfect. It doesn’t mean I didn’t love my parents and don’t love my mother, it’s just reality. They were parents, not my good buddies. I loved them, I hated them, they embarrassed me, I embarrassed them. And somehow, we all survived. They were real people, not Carol and Mike Brady.
My father has been dead a few years now and I love him and still miss him every day. I am lucky I still have my mother, and yes she is an original. She is not your orthopedic shoes, gray hair and knitting kind of mother and grandmother. She is more like a senior fashionista who still loves her heels and dressing up. She can be outrageous and even annoying to me because I am her kid even if I am almost 50, but would I have essentially divorced them, run, away, and sued for money? Would I have turned them into a Bravo TV reality show?
No. My parents weren’t perfect, but neither am I.
As a relatively new parent I am acutely aware of things like helicopter parenting. Those are the parents that do everything including think for little Johnny and Susie….even well into purported adulthood. I have had people tell me stories of these types of parents which are truly a little crazy. I have seen things I thought was crazy.
The flip side of this, is I have seen some somewhat astounding kids here and there. I used to live (for example) near an esteemed private school for boys. These boys used my old neighborhood as a parking lot – there wasn’t enough on-campus parking and well, that wasn’t cool anyway (you could get away with much more if you parked off campus). I used to see two types of teenage boys: the really lovely ones who were in many cases children of my friends growing up, and the others with extreme misplaced senses of entitlement who quite frankly were brats. Now that isn’t going to endear me to the private school set, but it is the truth.
And I saw it all I think. For example, a lot of the kids drove mommy and daddy’s expensive cars to school and not only didn’t think twice about getting tickets (mommy and daddy would pay them natch’) , but they didn’t think twice about dinging the cars or even losing the keys. I remember finding a couple of those expensive starter keys that don’t look like regular keys for Mercedes Benzes and BMWs. I used to always walk them back to the school, because as an adult I knew each one of these keys costs a ridiculous amount of money. Every time I took the keys to the school I was told by the school I shouldn’t bother, the parents would just replace them anyway.
Weekends meant a lot of these boys would come back to my neighborhood as a meeting point to go to parties, mess around with their girlfriends, and dump their liquor bottles after parties. The best story about bottles were the kids who tried to dump them in our trash. My neighbor at the time (who was a psychologist by trade), stood there and made them take every bottle out of the trash. They whined and protested and she kept it simple: they could deal with her or they could deal with the local police. And yes, I still have still photos somewhere of this. I remember one kid saying “you don’t know who my parents are”.
And all this time, through to present day I am told by parents of teenage girls that teenage boys are much easier to deal with.
After seeing this news report, I might be inclined to agree.
This girl Rachel got a bit of a smack down by a judge yesterday. He told her no. I am guessing that doesn’t happen very often.
Rachel Canning, 18, won’t get $650 weekly child support or payment of her private high school tuition from estranged parents Sean and Elizabeth Canning, a judge decided Tuesday. But a second hearing on the suit is scheduled for next month, and the Morris Catholic High School senior could still force her parents to pay up her impending college costs.
A judge Tuesday ruled against New Jersey teen Rachel Canning, who sued her parents for expenses and education tuition after she says they tossed her out of their Lincoln Park home last year.
Morristown Superior Court Judge Peter Bogaard appears to have agreed with an independent investigators’ assessment of the home atmosphere: that the high school cheerleader and lacrosse player is “spoiled.”…..“We love our child and miss her. This is terrible. It’s killing me and my wife. We have a child we want home,” Sean Canning told The Daily Record of Morristown, N.J. “We’re not draconian and now we’re getting hauled into court. She’s demanding that we pay her bills but she doesn’t want to live at home and she’s saying, ‘I don’t want to live under your rules.’”
Rachel Canning has lived in the Rockaway, N.J. home of classmate Jaime Inglesino. Inglesino’s father, John Inglesino, has foot the bill for the girl’s lawyer fees, more than $12,000 thus far.
So I looked up this Rachel’s father on Facebook along with her. I did that after Facebook, being Facebook I saw a comment by a friend of a friend talking about this Canning family. What she said prompted my further look:
“Father was police officer and chief in this town and….they still live there (he retired and now works in another town as town business admin.). Family has had personal struggles, but really nice family. Love the mother, very involved…. I think Rachel has headed down wrong path. Broke my heart to watch judge read ruling and Liz (mom) cry and Rachel not react. As hard as I remember those [teenage] years being, I cried a lot over arguments with my mom and dad…..That other man [parent of friend] is too involved. He should be siding with his peers not with children’s friends”
This person’s comments are nice and measured. And see this is the thing: small towns always have gossip about the families of people who hold public positions so don’t you think if this girl’s parents were so awful or abusive to the point Children and Youth would have to step in or should step in that people would have heard of it? I found this public photo of the family on Google and sorry, as a photographer you learn to pick up certain things in photos, and maybe my radar is off, but what do you see here?
This is what Rachel’s dad has to say:
And then there are the photos of the parents and this girl at yesterday’s court hearing. The parents in tears, the teen smiling and showing little other than that. I am sorry, but the more I read, the more I feel for the parents.
Court testimony seems to paint a picture of parents trying to not lose a kid to partying and bad influences, so I guess I don’t get why the parents of this friend of hers has inserted themselves here? How is their business to influence someone else’s child? If this was an “at risk” teen, maybe I would feel differently but what I can’t escape is this is a teen who was told “no” and didn’t like it.
Rachel Canning has two Facebook pages. Her new one is very much in the public eye and she is “sharing” publicly. I wonder if she is being coached? Or does she think at 18 she knows best in the sharing/over-sharing department? Does she want to prove our case or paint herself cleverly as a victim in overpriced jeans? Or is she just a messed up kid ?
Is it the responsibility for every parent to reward bad behavior? Because if this girl is an honor student really being wronged, why wouldn’t she be one of these kids applying for scholarships and financial aid? Is it just me, or might that be too much work?
And I have to admit this gal needs a dose of reality because not every parent can afford to send every kid to college as much as they might want to. And I know and have known kids who had less than nothing who figured it out and got the education they wanted.
I think this girl is about to learn a very valuable life lesson of who to trust and listen to OR she will continue to hold everyone else responsible for her life and her decisions. I hope it is the former and not the latter.
Rachel Canning wanted $650 in weekly child support, plus the payment of her tuition at Morris Catholic High School. But a New Jersey judge denied her initial request. “Are we going to open the gates for 12-year-olds to sue for an Xbox? For 13-year-olds to sue for an iPhone?” he asked.
By David Porter, Associated Press / March 5, 2014
A northern New Jersey honor student who has sued to get her parents to support her after she moved out of their home had her initial request denied Tuesday by a judge who cautioned that the case could lead to a “potentially slippery slope” of claims by teenagers against their parents.
Rachel Canning had sought immediate relief in the form of $650 in weekly child support and the payment of the remainder of her tuition at Morris Catholic High School, as well as attorney’s fees.
State Superior Court Judge Peter Bogaard denied those motions but ordered the parties to return to court on April 22…..Court documents show frequent causes of parent-teenage tension — boyfriends and alcohol — taken to an extreme. In the filings, there are accusations and denials, but one thing is clear: the girl left home Oct. 30, two days before she turned 18 after a tumultuous stretch during which her parents separated and reconciled and the teen began getting into uncharacteristic trouble at school.
In court filings, Canning’s parents, retired Lincoln Park police Chief Sean Canning and his wife, Elizabeth, said their daughter voluntarily left home because she didn’t want to abide by reasonable household rules, such as being respectful, keeping a curfew, doing a few chores and ending a relationship with a boyfriend her parents say is a bad influence. They say that shortly before she turned 18, she told her parents that she would be an adult and could do whatever she wanted.
She said her parents are abusive, contributed to an eating disorder…Canning wants the judge to declare that she’s non-emancipated and dependent as a student on her parents for support…
But this raises a conversation with parents. What rights do parents have as far as discipline? Should they be more concerned about being popular with their teenagers, or about being their parents?
Now maybe these Canning parents didn’t handle every conversation well with their daughter, I have no way of knowing. Do I believe that the relationship issues between adults affects kids? Sure it does, but does that mean every teenager should rise up and sue their parents?
If she wanted to leave, she is now 18. But it seems to me she didn’t necessarily want out of Hotel Parents, she just wanted her own way. I mean let’s get real if you are a woman: did your parents like every boyfriend? Isn’t boy drama just a part of growing up?
Of course with girls especially, there is that whole forbidden fruit thing. The parents say no and they work harder to get around them. However, as much as it pains me to say it, for the most part my parents were right when they said “no”. I for one just didn’t want to hear it. Do I think they could have phrased things better and as a new parent do I try to improve on what passed for teen-parent communication back in the day? Yes to both.
I feel strongly about kids trying to respect adults. I do not see teens as equals to adults. I think a lot of kids are more intelligent than adults, but now that I am the adult I kind of get the other side of the dynamic. And it’s hard. You want to be their friend, yet you literally have to be the grown-up. You think you are saying the right thing and half the time it falls on deaf ears….face it if it is longer than two or three sentences I think all teenagers hear is the “waah, wahh, wahh” that Charlie Brown and Peppermint Patty used to hear whenever their teacher spoke.
I admire the super patient among my friends. I will admit sometimes I don’t get it, a lot of times I don’t get it….but I try all the time to get it. I will admit I get hurt feelings when I try to make a super awesome dinner and it gets pushed around the plate or my teen just shows up late. I will admit I don’t get the love affair with video games and dirty socks on the floor. And I know these are little things. But as opposed to some, I am so new to this, so this is all my learning curve.
And then I read about kids like Rachel Canning. And I hate to be all judgmental and mean grown-up, but I count my lucky stars.
But I feel for these parents.
So Rachel, I know you are out there lapping up your press. I can see it on your face in video and photographs and on your Facebook page. Maybe you see yourself as a Real Housewife of New Jersey in training, or feel your parents should just cater to your every whim, but life doesn’t work that way. I hope you go to counseling with your parents and work it out. But do I think they should pay for you as a non-emancipated teenager living elsewhere? Nope. I hate to say I think you are being a brat, and I am sure it is not that simple, but that is how I feel. I also find your behavior selfish in as far as you as a kid don’t even realize your actions could say….cost your parents their employment and then where would all of you be, including your sisters?
And little girlfriend, I wish you could see how creepy it is that your BFF’s dad has so inserted himself into your life. Sorry, but the jaded adult in me just doesn’t see this as normal or good.
Love them or hate them, we only get one set of parents. Don’t do something you regret. There is plenty of time to be a grown-up, my dear. Go home. Actions have consequences, and I really don’t think you have a clue…..
I chose this bird photo (above) I took this morning because it embodies the phrase “pecking order” to me for some reason. And the way my mind works, “pecking order” relates to something my friends and I have been talking about in relation to our kids in school.
The pecking order I am referring to doesn’t have to do with kids, but in fact the adults in the equation, the parents.
As someone relatively new to the parenting game of life I really had no awareness for years of parents groups like PTAs, parents’ associations, booster clubs, school Facebook pages, message boards, and so on and so forth. But now I am acutely aware of them and have been observing them here and there like a sociology experiment.
When I wasn’t a parent I was told by some that I shouldn’t have an opinion when it comes to things about schools, general parent-based groups, school boards, and so on. Now that I am a parent (or parent-in-training) I am sometimes told I shouldn’t ask so many questions or have an opinion because I am so new at the game. I could get angry at this, but mostly I am just amused. But I do know people who move through their childrens’ schools as mute foot soldiers to avoid dealing with these issues. Personally I am wondering how we can learn if we aren’t supposed to ask questions at times.
However, what truly amazes me and those I talk with about this is how groups which can do so much GOOD for a school and for kids can also twist into something almost unpleasant at times where the adults are concerned – it’s all the things you think we as adults left behind in high school but it’s almost like the behavior patterns are reincarnated at times. It’s like the lunch room and school yard cliques that once reigned supreme are resurrected.
For me, as someone new to this fray, I find even observing this behavior as distasteful as I did when I was a tween and teen. It also can be like observing where bullying comes from. How can we teach children not to be bullies when some adults have still not learned that lesson?
As an adult you are supposed to be able to embrace the spirit of individuality, yet even as adults when we become part of a group, individuality to an extent is quashed.
I want my child to be able to appreciate the differences in others because I simply believe to expand your horizons and grow you need to learn to appreciate the differences in others. Mind you I am not talking about destructive or dangerous behavior, just embracing a world where everyone is not just a cookie cutter of the person standing next to them. I figure we have enough of that going on already with the cookie cutter developments taking root throughout every community with a spare inch available. Or, just because the houses all look the same it doesn’t mean we have moved to Stepford.
As an adult, I will question something if I don’t understand it or if I think something is wrong. Yet with a lot of these groups we absolutely can’t discuss and question things like adults, but conversely we morph once again into school kids in the lunchroom glomming up into cliques.
No one leads such a perfect life that they should be able to judge another person via snap judgment. Yet it is human nature that we all have been guilty of that.
But unfortunately this is how kids learn about all sorts of things including how newness and individuality is perceived, and where bullying comes from.
People are different, and what I have learned in this new aspect of the adult world is that there are a lot of people out there that even as adults expect you to be just like them and don’t know how to deal with individuality.
And I hate to say it, but sometimes I see it more pronounced in school related groups like PTAs and committees for fundraisers and sports boosters and arts boosters and so on. And (again) it’s all the nonsense you think we as adults left behind in high school but it’s almost like the behavior patterns are reincarnated. The irony is all these people are coming together with the same common goal: the betterment of the lives of kids in school. But since life is cyclical, behavioral patterns can be too I suppose.
There is a definite pecking order, and deviating from the comfort level of some causes drama. One of my friends told me the story of carnival at the school of one of her children. She tells me how she goes all ready in blue jeans and sneakers and a comfy sweater all prepared to help. She is greeted by a mom Nazi complete with walkie-talkie and a clip board. From what I was told apparently most army generals had nothing on her.
The irony and utter humor was of course I remember that woman from when she was a teen. She was the girl who always had high drama at every party with her boyfriends. I can still see her running around either barefoot at a party in tears or being booted from some dark corner in a state of questionable undress. And there she is today, queen of the PTA with a walkie-talkie and a clipboard.
Some people for whatever reason seem to have a narrow view of life or are utterly rules based. But where are the allowances for grey areas?
I believe interaction and discussion is the pathway to building stronger relationships and so on.
But what I am discovering is that a lot of those parents in these groups are not only judgmental, they are kind of mean at times. The world is enough of a cruel place so why can’t we just be nicer to each other?
I have friends with children who have special needs. These are my friends with literally the patience of Job. These are the people whom others always feel the need to tell how to parent and raise their kids.
I know someone else who told me of a Girl Scout or maybe it was a Brownie troop leader. A little girl wanted desperately to belong to this one particular troop because all her friends were in it. But this troop leader found the girl’s mother NOCD (“not our class darling”). Here was this person, an adult, who couldn’t look past the mean girl of it all. But that is the thing about mean girls that I have discovered: they never quite grow up they just get older.
To a lot of you, this is nothing new. You have been seeing and dealing with things like this for years. But again, to me, it is all somewhat a brave new world. Maybe I look at things at times in an over-hopeful or over-simplified manner. Maybe I ask too many questions or speak out where others are silent. But how are we to learn if we sanitize everything and can’t discuss much of anything?
But while education in a sense has increased with the ability to choose more or better for our children regardless of public, private, parochial, or charter schools, the one thing that hasn’t changed in a lot of cases are the age-old issues with parents. There are always going to be adults that think they know more than their peer group. It’s just human nature. I accept that.
And in the midst of it all, I often see these brilliant kernels of hope. Often the children are kinder than the parents.
Just as we can teach our children, we can learn from them as well. The world is often not a pretty place, but it is not one without hope and brilliance.
So I am relatively new to the whole parenting thing and don’t pretend to know everything. Oddly I do not disagree with everything this woman is saying (and usually I find little common ground in anything she writes about), but the way she says it is almost venomous in spots.
Where I saw this (because I do not follow this blog) also pointed out an op-ed in the New York Times about the achievement gap between wealthy and not wealthy kids. (You can read that HERE.) And wow, I so don’t even want to touch that whole have and have-nots thing. I am like Malcolm in the Middle on this topic and maybe it is too zen for some of you but here it is: I figure in this world there will always be people with more money than me and people with less money. It is what it is. Circumstances can’t be helped and to me it should be more about working with what you have got instead of lamenting what you don’t have. Life sometimes should be more about finding opportunities versus taking advantage.
…. if you think your child is brilliant, shut up about it already.
During the past several months – okay, who am I kidding – during the past several years during which I have lived among the haves (and we are all haves to varying degrees here in Lower Merion, let’s just be clear about that folks), I have had to suffer through dozens upon dozens of social interactions which revolve around the particular difficulties faced by the blessed and the brilliant aged 5-18…It is bad enough when thoughtless parents sit around bragging about their kids, but what is up with the way they inculcate their kids (thus transformed into brats), with the same notion that making self-aggrandizing pronouncements is the done thing? It is good to be (secretly) proud of the achievements of your kids, it is good to (secretly) sing their praises…..And if your kid has overcome some hardship in order to get there, sing it sister! But it is not okay to tell me repeatedly that your child is God’s gift to a sorry universe of Plebeians. It is not okay to pretend that you are really discussing a difficulty they are having “fitting in” when what you really want to communicate is that your child is above par. So above par that perhaps the entire public school curriculum ought to be redesigned to fit the particular needs of your child…..Here’s the rub – if your child is truly having difficulty fitting in perhaps you should consider turning down the halo over their heads. Perhaps you could reinterpret the poker faces of other parents when you start talking about your kid/brat and understand this: nobody can take your kid for longer than five full minutes. They probably already can’t take you, but you’re an adult….. it’s to late for you anyway – someone else already brought you up and they clearly did a bad job.
Ok is she completely wrong in her premise here? No. There are a lot of obnoxious people and equally obnoxious children out there. But wow, she’s a little mean.
People are proud of their kids, it is human nature.
And maybe if a parent says their kid is having a hard time fitting in, it is just that. But what I have a problem with is the underlying current I feel of class warfare. Enough already, there are far more important things in this world to worry about.
With regard to the comment about public school curriculum, the simple truth is a lot of it could be re-worked. Face it, even when they are gold-plated school districts with fabulous everything (usually by their own description) what is one thing parents always complain about? That is IF your child is just average, not among the super achievers or super athletes or super problems they get lost in public school systems. And another truism is a lot of schools talk a good game about special needs but in truth do very little. Or their definition of “gifted”.
So are a lot of parents obnoxious? Heck yes. But you can’t blame a parent for wanting their child to stand out in some way and be noticed. Or get help when they need it. Nor can you blame them for loving unconditionally. And that is not a function of socio-economic status, it is a function of love.
I have been told parenting is not an exact science, and I am learning that. Unfortunately I am also learning that there are a lot of very judgemental people when it comes to parenting.