lost in transition

tractor

“Change is the only constant in life.”    
―     Heraclitus

The past year plus has been a wondrous and explorative journey into Chester County and my new life.  I am finally living the life I wanted all along, but it has not been without adjustments.

For example, where many of you have been a parent for years, I have been only doing it a short while by comparison.  It is a wonderful and terrifying journey and I am on the hunt for the Cliff Notes to help me through what doesn’t compute!

I have had a lot of change in the past few years, and moving to Chester County and off the Main Line was a big step for me.  Mind you it has truthfully been the best thing I have done for myself and my life save beating breast cancer two years ago. I always wanted to live in Chester County,  and now here I am!

But change while an amazing and a necessary part of life, is also scary.  For the first time in like three decades I am completely out of my original comfort zone and am making a new comfort zone.

I love being here in Chester County.  It is such a cool place, full of rich beauty and history….and antiques and collectibles barns to be picked LOL. garden cart

I will note that making friends as a child and making friends as a middle-aged woman are two entirely different propositions.  But I have been plodding my course and have met some really terrific people I hope to have in my life for many years. I have also rediscovered some really cool people who I knew from before who moved out here years ago.

But then there are some people who have been in my life for many years that I am at a slight loss about. And I will be honest, some of them have left me feeling a bit hurt.

Everyone is busy and life takes us all on unexpected paths, I get that, but there are some people who have not even seen where I am living. There are some who seem to think I have moved to Iowa.  They don’t even call if I don’t call them first.  And some of these people I saw almost every day for years and years and years.  When a lot of these people moved into new homes and whatnot, I was there for them. Sadly, I keep looking out as if some of them will drive up any second, but it is like I have moved to Iowa.  And who has time for a brief jaunt to Iowa, right?

I wish I could say I did not have slightly hurt feelings, but I do.  When you are the single person or person without children in the life equation of your family and friends it is like the unspoken rule that you go to them.  After all, you aren’t the one with kids and all that, you are more mobile.  And yes, at times, it is a slightly Bridget Jones life experience.

But now, when that role is changed you think things will be different.  Only it isn’t, it is just me who is different: different location, different life roles, different things I want to do. (But never fear I still like listening to Carly Simon and Mary Chapin Carpenter )

I now have an even greater admiration for my friends who have moved clear across the country and sometimes even overseas.  You don’t realize with all the joy in a new part of your life blossoming there are also a whole host of other feelings that can leave you feeling a tad conflicted.  When you become the out of sight-out of mind person it can also be difficult emotionally at times.

Don’t misunderstand me, it is really awesome meeting and getting to know new people, but sometimes you just miss the people who have been in your life for decades that you can hang out with in ratty old sweatpants and the worst band t-shirt ever.

This life experience surrounding my move has been wonderful but it does make me realize for example how we do have to encourage our children to go out of their comfort levels and expand their horizons.  When you are changing things about your life including location, part of your subconscious thinks a lot of things will be the same including the same people.  The reality of it is that is not possible.  Sadly we just don’t probably have enough emotional room to drag our old lives around into new ones.  Even if the new life is an awesome happy thing with a fabulous location included.

So now I am learning the art of letting go.  I am here in Chester County and this is my life.  It is an amazing journey which is but now getting underway.  My life blessings are many. I am grateful to the people who I have met who have welcomed me into their lives.

Life is good here in Iowa.  Hopefully some of those people who are M.I.A. in my life will check it out someday.