Flying Monkeys have been out of fashion since the Wizard of Oz (movie 1939, book 1900.) In both, the monkeys symbolized a dark side of the human ego, or evil that people are capable of.
Interestingly enough, “Flying monkeys” is a common descriptive term used to describe people who carry out the abusive or manipulative wishes of a narcissist.
Yes, for real. After doing a little bit of research, I know I’m not the only one who has looked into this. And those who have looked into it include clinical psychologist, like the one with the YouTube above.
Some view social media as a giant popularity contest. And if they can’t be the top of the pile, they want to basically take out anyone else that’s in their way. Remember however, a good narcissist never wants to get their own hands dirty. They want to provoke people to act. They sit back and watch others do their bidding. They are self-absorbed cowards.
Flying monkeys are another spin on the mean girls middle school lunch table, and generally speaking it’s a narcissistic person. They vibrate when they are afraid their carefully (or not carefully) crafted cover is cracking, or has cracked. It’s a form of an act of desperation cloaked as other things.
Essentially the people sending the flying monkeys are insecure and afraid. They want people to think they are wonderful, they need that. If you threaten that, you are the enemy. Especially if you think they are behaving in a silly or laughable manner.
Don’t laugh, you can’t laugh, you must adore? Yeah mmmkay.
Yes a narcissist can actually be insecure. They are apparently known as “vulnerable narcissists,” and people with narcissistic tendencies can indeed be deeply insecure, often using extreme and grandiose behaviors as a way to compensate for a need for constant validation from others.
There are also “grandiose narcissists.” They can appear to have a genuinely over-inflated sense of self.
Interestingly, narcissists can have a fear of abandonment too. I didn’t know that until I began researching the topic out of curiosity. I learned narcissistic types may try to make others feel insecure to temporarily strengthen their own sense of self-worth. Which makes social media and all the unreality in it their most perfect playground.
A malignant narcissist is defined as someone with an extreme sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy, and a disregard for others. They are also manipulative, aggressive, and abusive.
Again, social media is the perfect breeding and grooming ground. The majority of people don’t see these people in real time, only whatever they are posting on social media. It’s all look at them, look at their possessions, every aspect of their lives. It all appears so perfect, but it’s a façade to some extent, isn’t it?
Social media is a giant Petrie dish of pack mentality, so when a narcissistic person feels threatened, they literally call on the flying monkey squad. They don’t want to get their own hands dirty, but to a narcissistic individual your hands are their hands. They will coach people in what to say on their behalf, only they manipulate you into thinking it’s your idea. They are not above complete fibbing about their targets, and there are enough damaged or vulnerable people to believe it hook, line, and sinker especially on social media where few do actual research. Narcissists reel these folks in by appearing to be a little bit of what these people seek consciously and subconsciously.
Truly it’s fascinating, even when it’s directed at you. When flying monkeys are sent after another person it’s deliberately done to hurt a target of a narcissist’s ire or insecurity (or both.)
I have experienced this. Most recently a flying monkey who came in the form of a woman who had to call me out first on social media and what people should think or do about me who has zero to do with their life. This person is a complete stranger, so this behavior? Already quite odd.
Next this person started sending me private messages while trying to join a group they were previously removed from. The messages were obviously coached and rather fantastical given some of the odd word salad language. You could hear more than one voice. Oh and this person included middle school tactical maneuvers like she spoke to people about me, that they all really loved her and I was keeping them from her and how many people hate me.
It was fascinating.
And their beliefs and arguments about me a total stranger? Utterly fabricated and fantastical. Essentially gaslighting and attempted guilt tripping. a diversion from their own messy lives, perhaps?
I would say why can’t we all get along. But then there are these people who are threatened by anyone different from themselves or who recognize them for who they are , and voilà, here we are.
Is this all about me? No, but the impetus has been personal experience. Does that make me a narcissist? No. Sociologically and psychologically it is actually fascinating. I am sure that irritates narcissists and their flying monkey squads, because that is not the desired effect.
So the moral of this story is don’t let people steal your joy. And why do people want to steal the joy of others? Maybe we are not supposed to care about their motivation? Maybe it’s that simplistic and we are merely supposed to recognize this for what it is and go about our lives?
You can’t please everyone all of the time, and you have to ask yourself if we are supposed to? I don’t think so. And with people whom you don’t know and don’t really care to know on social media, you have to laugh. If it seems like fantastical and illogical projection, it probably is. It all goes back to the simple theory of consider the source.
Below are some things to read and enjoy your day.
What are flying monkeys and how to deal with them
The Curious Fact of the Flying Monkey
Flying Monkeys (The Narcissist’s Tool for the Smear Campaign)
https://www.verywellmind.com/narcissists-and-flying-monkeys-7552473
https://www.businessinsider.com/what-an-apath-is-and-why-they-are-dangerous-2018-2
https://sherrygaba.com/why-flying-monkeys-make-it-difficult-to-heal-after-narcissistic-abuse/
