sigh….mommy d.u.i…….again

lindeOn the Main Line, it is once again Mommy DUI groundhog day. Yes, another Mommy DUI.  Karin Linde of Bala Cynwyd.  I believe Walt Hunter said in his interview on CBS3 that she is around 32.

Now I will note from jump that this mommy does not fit the socially upwardly mobile mold of the two other Main Line DUI mommies Meredith Williams-Earle and Grace  Tuten. Same area, similar age range, but this one is a  repeat DUI offender (see uploaded court docket “Linde prior.”)  This was the Olive Garden DUI mommy of 2011 that was in Patch. At that time, Bala Patch reported she blew a 0.38 blood-alcohol content, nearly five times the legal limit.

I took a major amount of guff from some when I wrote about the last Main Line Mommy DUI, but let’s fill you in on this current one before we circle back to my thoughts on this topic.

CBS 3: EXCLUSIVE: Another Main Line Mom Charged With DUI Crash With Child In The Car

December 6, 2013 3:51 PM

(Watch video HERE)

By Walt Hunter

VILLANOVA, Pa. (CBS) – A 32-year-old mother faces drunk driving and child endangerment charges after police say she plowed into the rear of a car Thursday night in Villanova, causing a chain-reaction crash. Officers found her 5-year-old son in the backseat.

Only CBS3 cameras were there as Linde was taken to Montgomery County Prison in lieu of $7,500 bail. …According to an arrest warrant, an officer “asked Linde if she had been drinking and she stated, ‘Well,ya.’ Then, according to the warrant, when asked to submit to a field sobriety test, she responded by “stating she was ‘smashed’ and that she in no way should be operating a motor vehicle.”

One other driver in the crash was treated for injuries. Linde’s 5-year-old son was not hurt, but police say he was not restrained in a booster….

Court records show Linde pleaded guilty to drunk driving and causing a serious injury crash following a 2007 accident.

Linde is the third mother charged with driving drunk and crashing her vehicle with her child in the backseat in the past four months in Lower Merion.

When I commented before on this topic I said that I feared an epidemic of these DUI mommies was brewing.

I will ask some of the same questions I asked before:

What has gone wrong here?  How do families not know if someone is having issues? Do that many people really in this day and age routinely drive around comfortably numb? And who exactly let her get behind the wheel of a car? Who lets an intoxicated young mother get behind the wheel of a car with a child in the back seat?

This woman Karin Linde is a repeat offender.  With these new charges (see Linde 2013 ) she went to jail.  They reported that her husband has the child. Thank goodness, I guess. Except if she is a repeat offender, how is it she is allowed to drive anyone around, let alone drive herself?

I will say it again that to me this is an alarming issue.  And with now multiple incidents (different women) to hit the news a couple of months apart , I will state again that I truly see this as an issue.

But if we are honest, by varying degrees this is not a new issue. It’s just not one discussed in public as much as whispered down the lane.

Once again, I want to try to show these women compassion.  But if I am brutally honest, with this one I am having a hard time doing so.  Why? Because this woman seems to have “oops, done it again” and wow,  when do you stop? When does the being a mother gene kick in?

Alcoholism is an awful disease.  I have friends who have been “in the program” for years.  Including now not so young moms. Some have been successful working their programs, others not so much.

When I wrote my last post in November on this sad topic I didn’t just catch hell from mommy bloggers who did not like me writing about this or mentioning these women by name (even if the media and law enforcement already “outed” them by name and location), I received a lot of off-line feedback from women who had experienced issues with alcohol and/or had been a child of one or more alcoholic parents.  They thanked me for talking about it. And shared some heart wrenching stories of their own.  I won’t betray those confidences, but I applaud them for being brave and dealing with it.

Some people with alcohol issues never hit the bottom to stop, some do. They have to want it.  You have to want to get better.

Tonight, nineteen days before Christmas a young mother from the Main Line sits in jail unable to post bail.  Somewhere, someone is undoubtedly trying to help her 5-year-old make sense of all of it.  Can you imagine being that child? Accident, noise, mahem, sirens….mom being taken away in the back of a police car.

My heart aches for the children of these people.  The littlest and almost silent victims.

And no parent wants to judge another parent, but my word this is hard to wrap my head around.  I guess at the end of the day I don’t get how you put the alcohol first, child last.

Here is hoping something good happens for this latest DUI mommy. But I am sorry, this one seems like more of a train wreck, given past acts.

She could have killed quite a few people including herself and her child.

bah humbug u.s. postal service!

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WARNING: this is a RANT against the United States Postal Service. So if you think they are fabulous, turn away now.

I ordered a small something. It was breakable. The seller thought a super padded, bubble wrapped, and cardboard shield of protection would keep it safe. Unfortunately, they didn’t ask me about it or I would have told them differently.

I have seen it happen dozens of times. You’ll be standing there and the post office and inevitably someone ahead of you will ask whoever’s behind the counter “is this wrapped well enough?”

Of course most of those people behind the counter say yes, especially during the holiday season. They don’t want to be slowed down at all.

And then there is the issue of postage is getting so darn expensive, that people are looking at ways of getting things to recipients less expensively.

One also can’t forget the fact that sometimes the post office just doesn’t deliver things. That happened last October when I mailed my sister her birthday present two and a half weeks ahead of time Priority Mail. You know that overpriced service that is supposed to take two or three days?

She lives in New York City. You would think that a city so fabulous would also a fabulous services like mail delivery. The phrase “Hell no” applies here.

I made the United States Postal Service reimburse me for postage on that package. It took a couple weeks to get them to do it, but I had paid for service I had not received. The idea was to get the birthday present to my sister ahead of time, not after her birthday had passed. It took the post office 2 1/2 weeks to deliver something I paid for Priority Mail delivery on.

My sister’s stories of United States Postal Service in New York City are legendary. My favorite stories are always her recounting how she is treated when she actually has to go stand in line for something in the post office. Apparently Mother Russia has nothing on all of those postal workers in New York City.

For years I had the same post man. He was awesome. When I moved out to Chester County, it was like getting indoctrinated into a new society. Once again, I have an awesome post man, but there are these rules I’m just not used to.

For example, because of liability now they don’t get out of their post office delivery vehicles unless they are delivering a package that doesn’t fit in your mailbox.

So, say that you are having something delivered when the mail arrives, or a work person is at your house and parked on the road. If their work vehicle is blocking your mailbox, you don’t get your mail that day. Or if you are having company, and they foolishly want to park in front of your house, the same thing applies.

How did I discover that? When we had just moved into the house and had some work truck parked outside doing something, the post man left us a note in our mailbox telling us about that? But if we did not have a nice mailman, we never would’ve known.

So yesterday this package was delivered. Usually, when the mailman is delivering something, he rings the bell. This time he didn’t and I just happened to hear the truck pulling away from the house.

I went downstairs to retrieve the mail left on my front porch. I see this small package with red stamps all over saying “DAMAGED IN HANDLING IN THE POSTAL SERVICE”. There was nothing affixed to the package however, telling me what to do about this.

I picked up the package and all I heard were the sounds of broken glass. I am so glad that the person who sold me this tiny Currier and Ives print shipped it Priority Mail aren’t you?

Not only is the glass shattered in dozens of pieces and shards and nearly cut me opening it, but the glass was the vintage kind that was painted on the back to look like matting.

The glass shards sliced the brittle paper of the old print. So the whole thing is useless. And it is a waste, and that pisses me off.

Now granted, the seller should have rethought her packaging. There are plenty of helpful bits of information out there on how to ship artwork. But this was so small a piece, I know she thought she would be fine.

The person who shipped this to me will be reimbursing me for my entire purchase. But the United States Postal Service seems less than interested in this. They have definite culpability here.

I tried contacting them by phone twice yesterday, and couldn’t get through. I tweeted a picture of the package at them on Twitter, they didn’t flinch. I sent an email to “customer service” but never received even an auto reply.

The United States Postal Service likes to tell us “We deliver for you” and “With Priority Mail, we’re here to help.” But they seem to do neither.

When I ship a package I don’t usually use the United States Postal Service any longer. I use UPS or FedEx. They aren’t perfect either, but they do seem to have a slightly higher degree of accountability.

I’m getting ready to put my Christmas cards into the mail, just a few, I’m not doing a full load this year. Yet still I wonder how many will actually reach the intended recipients.

This is the busiest season of the year for the United States Postal Service outside of tax time, and among my friends I am already hearing tales of things that are just delivered in pieces.

It would be nice if the people at the counters of the physical post offices actually took a minute to tell people that certain packages probably weren’t packed securely and should go in a box, or have more padding. But I know that won’t happen.

It would also be nice if the people behind the counters and post offices were little more pleasant during the holidays. But, if the West Chester main post office is any indication, that’s not happening, either.

Sign me irritated.

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the mini-tree of it all!

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I make no secret of my love of Christmas and vintage ornaments. Today I completed my six mini-trees and have them scattered about the house. I thought I would share two of the trees with you.

Why have a plebeian elf on a shelf when you can decorate mini-trees?

Please note the largest mini-tree is like 2 feet tall. They all feature ornaments I had either previously collected, found at the Smithfield Barn and other places this year, and a few from my father.

Surprisingly it took hours to get these little trees decked out appropriately…but I had so much fun!

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the bittersweet season

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Twenty years ago today my sister got married. December 4, 1993. On December 22, 2010 my brother- in-law died only about three weeks after a diagnosis of peritoneal mesothelioma, a rare form of cancer of the abdominal lining.

That added with the death of my father eight years ago November 13 makes the joyous Christmas season a little bittersweet as well.

Both my father and late brother- in -law loved the holidays. They both loved decking the proverbial halls with amazing Christmas decorations and entertaining friends and family.

I have memories of my father winning some holiday decorating award when I was little in the Society Hill section of Philadelphia. It was for exterior door spray decorations he had made from greens and fruit and ribbons.

I like to bake, and for years my cookies were my contribution to family Christmas meals. I can still hear both of their voices in my head talking about cookies.

As a matter of fact, the last time I had heard from my brother-in – law was an email sent by him from the hospital in Pittsburgh where they had sent him from NYC to treat his cancer. The message was short. It said simply “save me some Christmas cookies.” Two days later he was gone. That was the only year in my entire life I burned multiple batches of cookies.

The bittersweet season gets a little easier as years pass but still there are inevitable “moments” when my eyes just well up with tears. Like now as I am writing this.

I know some people after they experience loss don’t want to decorate or even acknowledge certain holidays, but I think you just have to. Especially if these people who are no longer with us loved the holiday season.

This year will be a little teary for me as I am hosting Christmas for my family for the first time. I used to do Christmas Eve every now and then, but never Christmas Day.

I remember my first Christmas tree after my father died as being crazy hard to put up. We all have so many funny memories of decorating trees with my father.

When I was really little and we lived in the Society Hill section of Philadelphia we had twelve or fourteen foot ceilings (I forget precisely how tall), so we got a really tall tree every year. I remember going with my father as a little, little girl down to freight yard railroad tracks somewhere near South Philadelphia to pick out a tree. I remember one snowy Christmas I wasn’t sure we would get the tree home- it was the 1960s and my parents’ car at the time was a red VW bug!

Decorating a tree with my father was a process with a capital “P”. He would lay out the boxes of ornaments and they went up in a specific order according to size and shape. His trees always had an amazing balance to them.

Well all except for the year we got the tree with what my mother called “spinal meningitis.” You see, we didn’t realize the tree had a curve in the trunk.

And then there was the year that Kitty Joy our big red orange tabby REALLY got into the catnip stockings early. First she skidded up and down the front hallway and then we found her at the top of the Christmas tree, celebrating with what only could be described as a “load on”!

Of course the largest family joke, was when would the Christmas tree actually come down? One year I swear my father left it up until Valentine’s Day.

From the time I was a little, little girl, I have all these fantastic memories of Christmas. I think somewhere I might also have still some of the notes from Santa that my father wrote with his opposite hand after dutifully devouring the plate of cookies and milk my sister and I put out for many many years. I also have vague memories of being posed with my sister in front of the Christmas tree every year.

When we became adults, and after my sister had married, I also have memories of those Christmases. I remember all the years of when my niece and nephew were really little of trying to keep them out of the presents before Christmas morning. Can’t blame them there, as I was a closet present shaker when I was little. I was just more stealth about it.

I have memories of my brother-in-law when my sister and he moved to New York coming into their kitchen with some bags loaded down with presents, and other bags loaded down with the most fabulous cheeses and holiday snacks. I can see him in my mind’s eye bustling around their kitchen island putting things away, getting things out, combined with his laughter and the joyful shouts of my niece and nephew excited that the father was home.

I have a few friends who will be facing Christmas this year with the loss of parents for the first time (we are getting to “that age”) and I know it will be hard for them. But I hope they truly celebrate the season as I believe that is what their parents would have wanted. And if the tears come, let them flow, but remember the happy and not the sad.

Keep good memories alive by keeping traditions intact.

So slowly, bit by bit, Christmas is creeping in. And although I am feeling a bit of the bittersweet season upon me, I won’t stop because these family members who are no longer with us made the holidays magical and special.

So people might laugh at my love of vintage Christmas ornaments and my childlike glee of decorating. Or think I’m a little nutty to make a Christmas wreath almost every year, but these are the traditions instilled within me that keep the Christmas- loving child inside of me alive.

And although life can get bittersweet like an O. Henry Christmas story, there is no trading it in.

Thanks for stopping by today.

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so I made a wreath…

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It’s December! Christmas decorations can make their 2013 Christmas season debut!

I made a wreath yesterday.

Including the wreath form it cost me $6.51.

How?

Gently used and vintage Christmas decorations is how.

Yesterday I made a stop at Resellers Consignment Gallery on Route 30 in Frazer. In the front of the store as you walk in there is a jumble of gently and not so gently used Christmas decorations . These decorations include ornaments, ribbon, pinecones, wreath fixings, you name it. You have to dig through, and I hope you’ll dig gently if you go, so you don’t break things for the next person.

Hanging up throughout the store you will notice, much as is the case at places like the Smithfield Barn in Downingtown, there are also artificial Christmas wreaths galore. The wreath I found (plain and unadorned) was 25% off, and if you’re in the market for an artificial tree, they are loaded with them at Resellers – big trees, not the table-top variety.

Everything that went on my wreath except for the florist wire, came from Resellers yesterday. And yes, everything cost me $6.51. I also believe that I could make a wreath for just about the same amount if not less from fixings at the Smithfield Barn.

My point is simple: you can decorate for Christmas on a budget. There are enough people in this world that jettison Christmas decorations on a regular basis, that if you look at places like Resellers, Smithfield barn, thrift shops, church sales, and so on you can find pretty much everything you need.

The only thing I do not buy it any of these places are used or vintage lights. I am not an electrician, so I have no clue what is in good condition or not.

Decorating for Christmas just puts you in the mood to get a little holiday spirit. And yes, I have inside wreaths and outside wreaths and I don’t do it all every year, I tend to rotate my ornaments and decorations.

If you put your Christmas decorations away carefully, they can and do last. I put artificial and pinecone wreaths on hangers in my attic covered with big clear trash bags. If it is a year where I am making a natural wreath out of fresh greenery, I removed the ribbons and decorations that can be salvaged at the end of Christmas and put them away as well.

I am a fumble fingers with a hot glue gun, so the only thing that go on my wreaths are things that I can wire on with florist wire.

I don’t want to put specialty stores or craft stores out of business, but there are a lot of Christmas decorations that you can source quite reasonably and a gently used or vintage condition.

I like to do what I consider tasteful decorating for Christmas. I don’t do a million lights and inflatable things on the front lawn. I mean no disrespect to those who chose to do this Griswold Family Christmas style of decorating, but truly I do not need my decorations to be able to be seen from space!

Fun fact: I had an uncle that when I was a child that used to go to little overboard with Christmas decorations, including music being piped from the roof. Loudly. And this was before National Lampoon and Chevy Chase made overboard Christmas decorating so infamous.

You won’t find anything adorned in my home before December. Some years I get things up early in December, other years it’s a couple weeks into the month before I begin.

I also really try hard not to overwhelm my rooms. I look at it the way Coco Chanel looked at jewelry: she had a famous quote about taking one piece of jewelry off after you are dressed and about to walk out the door.

Have any of you begun decorating? What is your favorite thing to do?

Also if any of you know of any church sales or fleamarkets or Christmas festivals coming up with a gently used Christmas ornaments and other holiday things for sale, feel free to leave a comment.

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RIP Blue. update on missing dog alert!

I wish I had better news to share. But I just received this message from the person that asked me to post about Blue the dog in the first place. I am in tears and it is not even my dog:

Hi, not sure if you saw the post I shared, but poor Blue was found on the side of a major highway…. Broken back and not going to make it… He got to see his owner, hear her voice and die in her arms😔

RIP BLUE. People – no one likes to hit someone’s pet, but if you could slow down and be more aware of your surroundings on roads, and if you accidentally hit someone’s dog or cat and can safely pull over and call the police, please do or call them at a later time if you can’t safely pull over.

I have a dog with three legs. She has three legs because she accidentally got out when she was little before she was part of my family. If it hadn’t been for the wonderful Westtown East Goshen police, she would be dead. Again this was a case of someone hitting a dog and not stopping.

It happened to my sister as well. Only she lost her dog. I also watched it happen twice in my old neighborhood, in broad daylight, and the people did not slow down or stop – they took off.

Please, even if you can’t save the animal, at least let someone know you accidentally hit it.

bring blue home

I was asked to post this. Blue was lost Nov 30th at 4pm from French Creek in the 2400 block of Saint Peters Road. Pottstown, PA. He is a 5yr old Lab Chow mix. Please if you have seen this dog call these people ASAP!!!!

t2

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Do you ever “T2” during Thanksgiving weekend? I do.

T2 is basically a second Thanksgiving dinner. I do this when friends and family have been scattered to the four winds for the actual Thanksgiving holiday. If I have a free turkey to use, and I’m not cooking the actual holiday dinner, I like to do another dinner at some point in the weekend basically so I can have Thanksgiving leftovers.

I am pretty much a traditionalist when it comes to a Thanksgiving -type meal. I make my own cranberry sauce, it takes so little time. I also make my own herbed stuffing cubes. I know it sounds anal, but I don’t like all the sodium and additives in the seasoned stuffing mix that you can buy in the grocery store.

Basically you preheat the oven to 400°. You take a loaf of inexpensive potato bread, whole wheat bread, or plain old white bread and chop it up into about 1 inch cubes. It’s not an exact science you know what you like when you do it. I like potato bread for stuffing the best unless I make a baker’s sheet pan of cornbread for stuffing.

I put a piece of parchment paper on the bottom of a baker’s sheet pan. This pan is one of those ones that looks like basically a cookie sheet with a lip, and it is aluminum and heavy. I put the cubes on top of the parchment paper and give them a quick spritz with canola oil cooking spray. I do not soak them. Then I sprinkle whatever herbs and garlic powder I am going to use for my stuffing. Generally speaking I use savory herbs: rosemary, sage, thyme and so on. I might even throw a couple dashes of sweet paprika in.

Next turn off the oven. Yes, you heard me correctly, turn it off. Throw the cubed bread and with the herbs on top in the heated oven and literally ignore it for a few hours. Once everything has dried out and gone cold in a closed oven, I throw it into a Ziploc bag. I do this a day ahead of time.

T2 also gets a pie. This year it’s my pumpkin pie, with a praline surprise in the bottom. All it is is a piecrust unbaked in a deep dish pie dish. I like the vintage Pyrex ones that I can get at church sales, tag sales, thrift shops.

The pie filling is basically the recipe on the small can of Libby unsweetened pumpkin, but I add one more egg. They call for two I use three.

The “praline” aspect is simple: the day before I make my pie I take a couple tablespoons of butter and throw it in an 8 inch sauté pan. To that I throw a small handful of pecans and walnuts. They can be halves or they can be chopped. Your choice but I like the halves. To that I had a small handful of raisins. I used green raisins I got from the Indian grocery store this time. They’re great in curries and even better in pies. I add cinnamon, fresh ginger, cardamom, and a few tablespoons of turbinado sugar. I cook everything up until the point the sugar and butter caramelized together. Then I turn off the heat. Once everything has cooled off a bit, I spoon the stuff into a storage container and allow it to cool completely before putting the container lid on. Incidentally this is another thing I do the day before. The pie filling however, I do the morning I bake.

This morning, I whipped up the pie filling, did my piecrust and lined my pie plate with the crust. Before I poured the pie pumpkin mixture into the pie shell.

The bottom of the pie shell I then lined with my nutty praline mixture I made yesterday. I baked my pie at 425° the first 15 minutes, then reduced it to 350° for almost an hour today. When you add things like nuts or extra things to the pumpkin mixture, it takes more time. But you keep an ion it because you don’t want to burn your pie or overcook it.

The picture that opens this post, is my actual pie that I will be serving for dinner this evening.

The stuffing for the turkey will have baby Portabella mushrooms, onions, celery and other good things. Even a few crumpled strips of cooked bacon.

I will serve a hardy green salad that has a mixture of Romain, arugula, spinach, baby kale, and other greens. I will also do whipped sweet potatoes made with carrots and maple syrup. To the sweet potatoes I will add a dash of pepper flakes to give it a little heat. I will also serve on the side a small dish of the pickled beets I put up earlier this fall.

Early on the morning I am cooking the turkey, after my pie in the oven, I chop up the onion and celery and whatever needs to going to my stuffing cover the bowl with saran wrap and toss it in the refrigerator. It saves if you do a little prep time ahead of time.

When my guests arrive late this afternoon , I will serve them and assorted cheese platter of cheeses from Yellow Springs Farm. Because Catherine Renzi’s cheeses are goat milk-based, a lot of people will put out something like a fig preserve to have with the cheese. It’s that whole sweet and savory thing. I however, have decided to be different, and I will be serving my cheese with a tiny ramekin of apple butter on the side to use instead of sick preserves. It’s the apple butter I made a few weeks ago.

I set my table with real linens. All the linens I have, I have scored from church sales, flea markets, thrift shops, and eBay. You can get that Rich holiday feel without breaking the bank. And it is so worth it to use a good tablecloth. And quite frankly the vintage ones have more depth and substance to the fabric that a lot of the modern ones.

Except for the china plates my Great Aunt Josie left for me, everything that is on my table has been sourced from places like thrift shops, the Smithfield Barn, church sales, estate sales, and flea markets.

The actual turkey platter, is one of those metal ones created by several companies including Lenox that I scored for $30 last year at Frazer antiques.

All you have to do is look in magazines and online and on HGTV to get ideas on how to set a holiday table. Truly, it is not rocket science, and even with kids you can do this. And even with kids, you can set the table with nice glasses and plates. My mother did it with my sister and I, and I think she was spot on with giving kids a special feel for holiday meals and not sticking them with plastic utensils and plates and cups.

Okay, I have a bunch of things to do in the kitchen for T2 so you all enjoy your Sundays. I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend. Remember, the Smithfield barn is open this afternoon for a few more hours if you were looking for some holiday bargains.