Tag Archives: haters

love notes?

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It’s always amusing when someone reaches out to a friend to complain about me (and my blogging) when all they have to do is unfollow on social media and well…not read the blog itself. But apparently I am like gaper delay on the highway and she just can’t turn away, so she will yammer at my friends while waving her smelling salts in front of her delicate sensibilities? But hey why say something to a person’s face when you can just damnation by faint praise stab them in the back, right?

I was trying to think what I wrote about yesterday that this woman would get the vapors over because it’s always a woman who does this whisper down the lane crap. Men will tell you upfront who they are and if they are tired of whatever it is you’re writing. Men who don’t care for my material will “little woman me” if they are upset or just flat out threaten me or curse.

Women are different breeds of cat when it comes to online and social media hating. It’s all about that virtual middle school lunchroom and what table you proverbially sit at. I am different from them, therefore immediately suspect for that alone.

A small percentage of women who don’t like what I write will leave a nasty comment on the blog’s Facebook page, or write a nastygram to the blog and forget they gave me their email and I.P. address.

And then there are the other women who will reach out to a friend or acquaintance of mine to essentially slut shame me for having an opinion they can’t handle, don’t like, or don’t understand.

To this Chiquita banana from overnight I say big juicy kisses, honey. There are always those of you who will complain to my friends that I am a horrible, nasty woman. Oh my gosh oh golly and bless your heart I’m sorry that you are so limited in life. I don’t write to please you personally, I write and post about what interests me….

The Poison Pen Letter: The Early 20th Century's Strangest Crime Wave ‹ CrimeReads

Sad but true, I get all sorts of bon mots about what people think I should be writing about and how. It makes a body wonder why they just don’t write themselves? Or is it the Victorian theory of women should be seen and not heard, only coming from other women is quite the conundrum.

So obviously this latest “fan” doesn’t like it when I write about derelict buildings that present a danger to the public and literally look like they are in danger of falling down?

Or maybe she doesn’t like it when I write about how I think it is wrong that East Goshen Township wants to take part of a historic horse farm via eminent domain?

Or they don’t like it when I write about things like the Anna Maciejewska case still being unresolved since 2017? (I am switching pronouns in case I don’t know theirs.)

Maybe they didn’t like when I wrote about COVID-19 and the year of profound racism in this country? Except racism is not new is it? But it makes people so uncomfortable to talk about it doesn’t it?

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Maybe they don’t like it that I also share lots of recipes and predominantly positive reviews of local businesses I happen to like and patronize?

Or maybe they don’t like it when I say things like college students and life studiers of Q Anon aren’t fit to be elected to local school boards?

Or that pipelines are dangerous and ruining parts of Chester County like Marsh Creek?

Or that billboards are just ugly monuments to someone else’s wallet and profit margins and don’t actually enhance a community?

Is historic preservation a bad thing? I write about that a lot.

Maybe they didn’t like it the other day when I wrote about the poor Amish kid whose horse died and he’s in bad condition in the hospital because of a drunk or impaired in some other way driver?

Perhaps they had a problem with my posting condolences to the Penn Wynne Fire House and Lower Merion Fire Department over the tragic loss of a firefighter?

Anyway, if you don’t like what I write, I’m fine with that, it’s just life. I don’t write for you, which also means I’m not going to write just to appease your comfort level whatever that might be …although I think involves fuzzy stuffed bunnies, heart emojis, and puffy clouds at all times.

And let’s address the “she’s an angry woman” of it all, shall we? Why is it women with strong or whom otherwise have any kind opinions are bitches and angry women?

Personally, I am actually not an angry person, but there are injustices and things in this country I do not like, that I feel are wrong. There are things in Chester County I love and things here and elsewhere in the region I do not like. A lot of times that will cross over into the realm of local politics.

I don’t need to be “educated” by you and I am not a fluffy mommy blogger who will give you coupons and LuLaRoe discounts, so lady you need to unfollow and simply not read what I write if it is that upsetting. But I know your type and you are feverishly reading every word of this post, and as much as you might complain, I bet if you wanted something out there or discussed in the community, you would be like the ones who also approach my friends to tell me what you want me to write about.

And if you are that exhausted by blogs or social media, try getting off the Internet and gardening. Or learn how to sew or bake bread. Take a break in general if it is all so “exhausting.” And besides, why are you counting or trying to count who like a post and leaves a comment, anyway? Some would consider that a wee bit mental, wouldn’t they? I don’t even look at that most of the time!

Personally, I find people like you exhausting. And then I remember who my friends are and count my blessings I don’t have to deal with you, and probably wouldn’t want to.

You do you, bless your little heart.

Thanks for stopping by.

xoxo

women-girls-love-to-gossip | Sandy Hook Stalkers

darling haters make the blogosphere go round…

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Sometimes you have to giggle as a blogger. You get certifiable nutbags who leave comments. Some threatening, some menacing, some just plain stupid.

Today I am sharing the stupid variety. First up is “Max”, who got lost in spam from jump. “Max” is offended that I don’t think a college student with no life experience is a serious choice for a school board in GVSD. Let the kid get a job, support a family, pay real estate taxes, and have actual kids in the school district…not be a kid who graduated a couple of years ago (2019). Lauren Dicranian may have made it to the November ballot along with Alex Enderle, but neither are suitable candidates…they just happen to be like all of the other unsuitable candidates the Chester County Republican Party is getting behind because they have so few actually qualified and decent candidates after Trump…and recent scandals of those who loved Trump and have to pay back that cookie jar they had their paws in, well what next?

After Max comes “Suzy” who hit me up around the primary. She did not understand what was private versus what was public on Facebook. She is all for the demented girl power of the now November WCASD candidates on the Republican ballot known as Stacey Whomsley and Ada Nestor known sarcastically as Ms.Q (for QAnon), and again, that’s all that the once venerable Chester County Republican Party can scrape up off the sidewalk as candidates? And did we see the breaking news on CNN yesterday ? (First on CNN: FBI warns lawmakers that QAnon ‘digital soldiers’ may become more violent.)

Then there is the rando from the IP address says Florida. “Tany” who thinks “Democrats are evil and have false flags.” “Tany” kept writing until “Tany” went to spam. “Tany” had written in about my Devin Nunes robo calls post. I will note that after I called my Congresswoman’s office the calls which had been going on for quite a while have stopped. “Tany” also said the calls were actually done by Democrats and supposedly Nunes said they weren’t him. (Newsweek once devoted an entire article on Nunes conspiracy theories as in he has lots of them.) Well I didn’t hear from Nunes or his office about that, so I am going with they originate from him and /or his campaign.

I will also note I have plenty of issues with Democrats. Like why they don’t do more about pipelines and the safety of Chester County and other Pennsylvania residents, but that is a post for another day.

I have always been an equal opportunity offender when it comes to politics. That probably won’t change. Republicans feel I pick on them? Well I was a life long Republican until 2016 and have been aghast as what they have done since then. And let’s talk the lack of plausible deniability for a lot of them over January 6th? Are we going to pretend the Capitol Riots never happened? (Oh check this out about the Internet sleuths hunting down these people.)

And then there is the great and mysterious Republican Women of Chester County Political Action Committee (PAC). They endorse, they proclaim, but who are they exactly? If they are loud and proud why don’t you know who runs it?

Haters of blogs and bloggers is nothing new. We’re not breaking new ground here. What I will never understand is why is their opinion the one we are supposed to pay attention to? Isn’t the world a big enough place for multiple opinions?

Maybe Haters are indeed just confused admirers, after all?

Kiss kiss blogosphere.

keep your joy

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How do you keep your joy? How do you keep your joy in the face of unpleasantness?

It is very true that you cannot control the actions of others, you can only control your own actions and behavior.

As a writer and a blogger I have been a target of unpleasantness. It is nothing new, but that never makes it right. When you write, you are putting yourself out there. You will have fans of your writing as well as the detractors. Sometimes the people are those you know, but a lot of the time they are just strangers.

When people love something I write, or a photo, or a recipe it is such a nice feeling. That is what makes blogging so fun. It’s a very neat connection at times.

I am blessed with meeting some very cool people throughout the years I have been writing. I have also had some unpleasant experiences. The two topics that seem to cause unpleasant experiences always seem to get whittled down to two topics: politics and animal rescue. That is why I don’t write about these two topics very much any more.

One of the newer topics I have touched on a couple of times now, and will continue to cover is cyber bullying and cyber stalking. It’s real, it happens every day. It happens to kids and adults alike. It is an unpleasant side of the Internet.

I have been a victim of this welcome to bizarre-O world behavior for a while now. It began a couple weeks before my 50th birthday. The people doing this to me used to be in my life. They left my life of their own accord years ago. Only they didn’t really leave. They have tracked me via the Internet.

It is sad and disturbing at the same time that these people have nothing better to do. They pore over blog posts looking for ways to twist topics I have written about. They skew and oddly sexualize things. From a psychological perspective it’s obvious they need help, and a lot of it.

For the most part, I ignore the whole thing. You see it is pretty simple why they persist: they are miserably unhappy people who want to steal the joy of others and pervert it. It’s sad and stuck all at the same time. But I can’t control their actions, I can only control my own. And I choose to be the better person in the equation.

But what this experience has done in addition is spurn an interest within me. Cyber bullying and cyber stalking is a very timely topic in this country. Today I read about U.S. Senator Al Franken (D-Minn) and his efforts to do something about cyber stalking.

In a Canadian publication I found the story of a mom crusading for most simply put, respect. You see, her teenage daughter committed suicide after being cyber bullied by a thirty-five year old man.

In The Providence Journal in late May there was a very thoughtful editorial on cyber bullying. The writer points out the high profile cyber bullying cases we hear about are the ones that lead to suicide and so on . Basically, if the case is dramatic and flashy, it gets attention.

The thing is this: I am an adult. I can consider the source and tune it out. My rational mind knows that it is the handiwork of truly messed up people. But not everyone can process cyber bullying pragmatically for lack of a better description, especially in a lot of the cases, the young.

There is a fascinating editorial in the New York Times today. Here is an excerpt:

The Opinion Pages / OP TALK New York Times : Rise of the Internet Hate Machine
By JAKE FLANAGIN JUNE 16, 2014 11:37 AM

Welcome to the age of Internet hate, when “it’s never been easier to send an anonymous death threat,” writes Jack Shafer for Reuters…..The Internet and social media have drastically altered the conventions of traditional bullying, threatening and harassment. Phenomena once thought native to playgrounds and high school locker rooms are now a bug of human interaction through technology — for children, teenagers and adults alike.

Has the Internet made us more hateful? Or has the Internet simply made it easier for us to exercise our in-born spite?…..”I was so puzzled by people who were telling us that anonymity was the reason there was so much vile meanness and attacks online,” said the Canadian journalist Paula Todd in a video interview with the National Post. ….Ms. Todd is the author of “Extreme Mean,” which examines “motives and machinations behind cyber-abuse — tormenting, trolling, harassment, cyber-bullying, stalking, and sexual extortion — and the toll it is taking on children, youth, and adults around the world.”

….In a cover story for the January 2014 issue of Pacific Standard, Amanda Hess relayed her own personal encounter with cyberabuse: a Twitter account set up for the express purpose of issuing threats — like stalking, rape and decapitation — to the popular Slate staff writer. “I felt disoriented and terrified,” she recalls. “Then embarrassed for being scared, and, finally, pissed.” She continued, “headlessfemalepig was clearly a deranged individual with a bizarre fixation on me. I picked up my phone and dialed 911.”….But online misogyny need not always be wielded by men. There are countless examples of women utilizing the Internet and social media to spread hate. …..Women victims of Internet hate also aren’t limited to progressive ideologies. Ms. Hess is a celebrated feminist writer with a largely liberal readership, but conservative women are no less exempt…..

Take the time to read the entire op-ed, it is fascinating. My bringing up cyber bullying on my blog will without a doubt cause a renewed flurry of bullying attempts towards me. I expect it, and I don’t care. Their behavior is theirs to deal with. But this topic of cyber bullying is garnering more attention every day and that is a positive thing.

Even the United States Supreme Court is getting interested in this with regard to Facebook in particular:

Huffington Post Politics: Supreme Court Will Hear Appeal Over Online Threats
| By By SAM HANANEL
Posted: 06/16/2014 10:05 am EDT Updated: 2 hours ago

WASHINGTON (AP) — The Supreme Court will consider the free speech rights of people who use violent or threatening language on Facebook and other electronic media where the speaker’s intent is not always clear.

The court on Monday agreed to take up the case of an eastern Pennsylvania man sentenced to nearly four years in federal prison for posting online rants about killing his estranged wife, shooting up a school and slitting the throat of an FBI agent…..For more than 40 years, the Supreme Court has said that “true threats” to harm another person are not protected speech under the First Amendment. But the court has cautioned that laws prohibiting threats must not infringe on constitutionally protected speech. That includes “political hyperbole” or “unpleasantly sharp attacks” that fall shy of true threats.

The federal statute targeting threats of violence is likely to be used more often in the coming years “as our speech increasingly migrates from in-person and traditional handwritten communication to digital devices and the Internet,” said Clay Calvert, a law professor at the University of Florida.

Calvert, one of several free speech advocates who submitted a legal brief urging the court to use a subjective standard, said people mistakenly seem to feel that they can get away with more incendiary speech on the Internet, in tweets and in texts.

According to the Justice Department, 63 people were indicted on federal charges of making illegal threats in the 2013 fiscal year. That was up from 53 cases the previous year.

At the end of the day, it’s simple: don’t let people steal your joy. You know who you are and so do the people who love and care about you. There are a lot of sad and disturbed individuals on this planet, don’t make their issues yours. Also remember that God don’t like ugly and neither do most individuals with a conscience.

Thanks for stopping by!