for sale: suburban home complete with bondage room

sewxy twist

It looks like your typical cookie-cutter McMansion Colonial doesn’t it?

Well yes….but….nooo….All is not as it seems when you then you read the description off of the RedFin and the Coldwell Banker Realtor’s website:

“50 shades of Maple Glen”. One of a kind surburban home with a sexy twist. Private quiet lane of 3 homes leads you to a secluded 4 bedrooms upstairs plus 1 bedroom in basement 2.5 bath colonial home located just 15 miles outside Philadelphia in the suburb of Maple Glen. Property includes 3 fireplaces….Full finished walk-out basement w bilco doors, includes a gym or 5th bedroom and also is a private adult sexual oasis. It can be converted back to a typical suburban basement. Home currently is being offered as an Air B&B rental @maisonxs that gets $750 a night on weekdays & $2000 a night on the weekends for private parties or entertainment.Convenient to PA turnpike, 309, 63, 152 , trains to Center City Phila, restaurants, shops, & minutes from downtown Ambler. Award winning Upper Dublin school district. House is being sold furnished.

Now I can’t take credit for discovering this, a friend of mine did and posted it.  So have many, many people on social media.  This real estate listing will go viral no doubt….

So…the house is being sold furnished…well I guess those bondage contraptions are hard to pack and move aren’t they?

Yes, really – check out the real listing and the smattering of screenshots I took (since I think it could all disappear- and slowly are- just my opinion but…) :

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Can.You.Just.Imagine thinking you are going to see a normal suburban home in a decent school district? Will realtors have to warn adults to leave the kiddos at home when coming to view this listing? How on earth will they handle an open house? How much do you want to bet it’s the broker’s open all realtors will flock to? (Wearing dark glasses, wigs, and hats so they aren’t recognized of course.)

And OMG the Realtor. You just can’t unread, unhear this  from CBS3:

It’s what lies in the basement that makes this home something right out of Christian Grey’s Red Room. Leonard says it has been turned into a “private adult sexual oasis,” fully stocked with whips, chains, a sex swing, among other things.

The entire home is being sold fully furnished, but if a sex room is not your thing, Leonard says the room can always be converted back to a typical suburban basement.

Hi, Me here. Dying laughing. Realtor spinny spin spin. Sometimes my dear, least said, soonest mended. That Realtor should not have given a sound byte IMHO. “If a sex room is not your thing” LOL LOL LOL. No honey…no no no…but I heard she told a reporter that her phone was blowing up? LOL LOL LOL of course it is….

However, what shows up in houses never surprises me as I still remember being a kid and being taken along as my parents were searching for a house when they decided we were moving from the city to suburbia.  In one staid and traditional neighborhood in Bryn Mawr there was a home with a primal scream therapy room complete with padded walls…and they also had an old electric chair….as in a chair to fry people in. It wasn’t operable but it was horror movie creepy. It was so unexpected I still remember my mother standing there in stunned silence before recovering her composure.  I wish I could remember the house location exactly but all I remember was it was on a corner, had sidewalks, well manicured typical Main Line neighborhood on the north side.

I realize everyone deserves to sell their home for top dollar but what will this listing attract to that neighborhood in Montgomery County? What has it already attracted as an AirBnB??  Yes, it is an AirBnB:

Welcome to MXS.

A privately secluded 3-level, 4000 sq.ft exquisite showpiece located 15 miles outside of Philadelphia.

More information
Provides a cozy and warm experience, or something a little more exciting, MXS is designed to appeal to your own personal mood.

When hosting private parties, demonstrations, or just a retreat.
When in Philly, think MXS.

Interaction with guests

MXS enjoys the company of guests at their request as well as providing them with butler and concierge service.

Other things to note

Private wing available for short-term stay at a discounted rate. Please message us for details.

Oy vey, so does the Master or Madam greet you at the door in black leather and a hood if you rent for AirBnB? What does the butler and concierge service wear?

I must be getting old, as this doesn’t do anything for me other than want to get down on my knees and give thanks to the Lord above for my awesome neighbors without surprise bedrooms and bondage proclivities.

Good luck selling the house, I think it is a little plebian for Christian Grey. After all, where would he land the private jet?

To each their own.  This just gives me the creeps. And while I tried not to judge, while I tried to be objective, I just can’t be anything other than skeeved out.

My my my the Ambler and Upper Dublin area sure has grown up hasn’t it? Makes you really want to know your neighbors doesn’t it? And say you wanted to buy this house but didn’t want the “extra” furnishings? How on earth would you title THAT house sale?

Ok enough on the 50 shades of creepy real estate listing.  Every pot has a lid, shoe has a foot…I guess?  But hey, at least it is in the “award winning” Upper Dublin School District, right?

brian article

And the media is having fun…Philadelphia Magazine added it to their “Just Listed” with a column by Sandy Smith. And Brian Hickey from the Philly Voice toured it today and I am waiting for his article because I think it will be my favorite….

Oy vey.

So wonder how the neighbors feel?

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endings…and my list of super fun places for antiques/vintage/unusual

The shopping center where Resellers in Frazer is located was sold. I wrote about it December 1st. Resellers will be around until the end of month I believe.

Alderfer Auction is doing the merchandise liquidations in a series of auctions. I bought a small Eastlake side table for a fraction of what it was worth. It has a slate top and I thought it would make a good plant stand.

I went over to Resellers today to pick up my table and to preview what would be in the final couple of Alderfer Auctions.

The photo above shows my side table withOUT the slate top. Here it is with two Clivia plants on it:

There are a couple of more Resellers Auctions through Alderfer. Here are some preview items I thought were interesting:

I have gotten some wonderful things from Resellers over the years. Josh Unruh the owner has done a terrific job. You can also find him up at Stoudts Black Angus Antiques up in Adamstown, PA.

Resellers had a great run. I will miss it.

I hear the warehouse that Resellers is located in will be split up into multiple stores? Don’t know if that means two or more than two.

Resellers closing will create a definite void in my opinion. There are several stores which try to be like Resellers, but they never have been quite able to capture the eclectic mix they created.

So where should people go to treasure hunt once Resellers is closed? Here is my short list:

1. Brandywine View Antiques 1244 Baltimore Pike. Chadds Ford, PA 19317

2. Classic Home Consignment 113 E King Street, Malvern, PA 19355

3. Habitat for Humanity ReStore Caln
Caln Plaza Shopping Center
1853 East Lincoln Highway
Coatesville, PA 19320

4. Habitat for Humanity ReStore Kennett New Garden Shopping Center
345 Scarlet Road
Kennett Square, PA 19348

5. The Loft at Knots and Weaves 218 East King Street, Malvern, PA 19355

6. Old Soul Decor 119 W. Market Street, West Chester, PA 19382

7. The Rusted Rooster Marketplace 510 Route 313 Dublin, PA

8. The Smithfield Barn, Downingtown, PA (you can find them at places like Clover Market and Gas Works in Frazer, PA)

9. Consign-It Furniture in Kennett Square – New Garden Shopping Center 345 Scarlet Rd, Suite 12 Kennett Square, PA 19348

10. Consignment Shop at Surrey 810 Lancaster Avenue, Berwyn, PA (the older ladies who work there are delightful, the manager less so)

11. Jake’s Flea Market 1380 Route 100, Barto, PA (obviously not open in the dead of winter as it’s mostly outdoor – keep an eye on their Facebook Page and website they will be back in April)

12. The Clover Market – with several locations seasonally in Bryn Mawr, Chestnut Hill, Kenneth Square, Collingswood NJ. Follow them on Facebook for the most up to date news.

I will also remind people to keep an eye out for Caring Transitions of Chester County sales and auctions. They are truly a hidden gem. I also recommend them highly for their senior downsizing and estate services.

Please note I have not been compensated in any way for my personally curated list above. These are businesses I patronize.

Thanks for stopping by.

happy place: four dogs tavern/ marshalton inn

Don’t you just love this Chester County treasure? Four Dogs Tavern/Marshalton Inn?

Whenever another development is proposed in any part of the county, I think of places like this. You can’t create this out of Tyvec.

Marshalton is a happy place. Come visit and see the festive decorations and have a meal at Four Dogs!

your health is NOT worth penn medicine radnor

Steve Smith can also be reached at Steven.Smith2@uphs.upenn.edu

When you complain about the parking and the unsafe parking lot this is the little strip of paper they hand you at Penn Medicine Radnor. (This is of course after the security guard shrugs their shoulders at you.)

Ever since I became an oncology patient 7 1/2 years ago I seem to have a lot of doctors appointments. Today I was supposed to see my oncologist and I almost turned around and went home the parking lot was that bad.

Today was the day I saw a man on a walker almost get hit by a car at a medical facility. And the driver of said vehicle as they sped by had the nerve to glare at the poor man on the walker.

I had two appointments this week at Penn Radnor. Thank the good Lord I don’t have to go back before the new year. I understand they are moving into a new facility, and I don’t want to jump on the anti-Penn in Radnor bandwagon but I’m sorely tempted at this point.

When I got there this morning if an ambulance had to come in and get someone they would not have been able to navigate through the parking lot because there was barely any space to get through. People were parked on shoulders, people were parked on the grass, people were parked in fire lanes, people were parked on curves. And this isn’t just passenger vehicles there were a couple of trucks too.

And I know it’s not any safer for the staff and medical professionals than it is for the patients. Penn Medicine has a lot of money. They need to throw some towards a parking solution. Telling patients who are upset when they walk in the door what does anyone expect them to do about it is not a solution. And I had not one but two security guards shrug their shoulders at me this week. This morning the security guard barely acknowledged me and handed me a little slip of paper with the name and phone number of the chief operating officer. He of course did not answer his phone.

Today was the day where I once again called Radnor Township about this parking lot. It’s private property, but when they block fire lanes and things like that it becomes a health safety and welfare issue in my opinion.

Now somewhat say how can they predict how many people are going to be in the parking lot each day. Simple all the people that have appointments represent a vehicle. So they can track that in their computer system. That of course does not take into consideration patients coming in on an urgent basis or possibly without an appointment.

When you enter their property in Radnor you are entering a state of chaos. Every single day. And if the parking wasn’t bad enough the people who can’t wait and have to go drive unsafely around people waiting for a parking space cause additional hazards.

I am beginning to think that my life is not worth Penn Medicine at Radnor because if it was Penn Medicine would do something about their parking lot.

history at risk: 5030 horseshoe pike. caln public hearing december 13th, 2018.

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It starts with someone sending me a public notice.  And once again, I am down the rabbit hole of Chester County history at risk.

This is a public hearing to be held in Caln Township on Thursday, December 13, 2018 at 6:30 p.m. at the Caln Township Municipal Building located at 253 Municipal Drive, Thorndale, Pennsylvania 19372.  Now I aslo found this notice of this meeting on PA Public Notices , but I’ll be damned if I can find it on Caln Township’s actual website so either it’s just another bad municipal website that looks kind of sort of pretty but doesn’t function easily, or it’s not there. (But I digress)

This notice which looks like it is for some kind of extra special zoning overlay (you know those things municipalities do to appease developers and special interests? And hey you do not have to like my opinion, but it’s not my first rodeo with zoning overlays and I am entitled to how I feel) for 5030 Horseshoe Pike.

That is when I really went like Alice down the rabbit hole.

Super historic. Known as the “Lloyd Farm”, “Valley Brook Farm” has a fire I would call mysterious a few years ago.  Seriously.  Here is the screen capture from the Downingtown Area Historical Society May 2014:

dhs

Then I hit Google and oh the things I found including this amazing history compiled by someone named Edward G. Lendrat on the West Chester University Old Caln Historical Society Collection. Caln Township has this buried on their website.

Pretty crazy historic, and I understand there was a fire, but a zoning overlay like this is all Caln Township can think is right for this property??? I am told the developer who has bought the “Lloyd Farm” is proposing 5 story apartment buildings, and commercial where there is NO zoning for it? Hence the need for an extra special zoning overlay at Christmas?  And this Public Hearing which takes place Dec. 13th. is it for discussion? Then the Commissioners will vote at their next meeting and NO CHANCE to change it will exist after that?

WTF Caln Township Commissioners? Have you no sense of place? No sense of history and what is appropriate?  How many freaking apartment buildings and mish mosh retail and more does Chester County need popping up like crappy weeds? Is this how you celebrate 150 years of history in your municipality? WOW.

(I will note TWO Commissioners are up in 2019 – Jennifer Breton and George Chambers. Residents should replace them if as President and Vice President of the Board this is what they think is fab. Just my opinion of course, but sometimes to change goverment you have to change the faces of who governs you.)

And oh the history….

123

So if I read the history of the property correctly, it dates back to the late 1600s and a Penn Land Grant? And by 1996 it was owned by the Archdiocese of Philadelphia? (Now I make no secret of my disdain of the Archdiocese of Philadelphia and their pedophile priest problems of recent past. Sorry, I digress again…)

Ironically something I wasn’t looking for with regard to this property but seemed to have stumbled upon is a 2015 pipeline easement between the Archdiocese of Philadelphia and Columbia Gas. So umm, high density development being proposed and a pipeline? NICE.

pipeline easement

Yowza and here is the deed of transfer I guess?  Dated April, 2018?  The Archdiocese of Philadelphia made over $4.5 cool million on this? NICE.  That will settle a bunch of pedophile priest lawsuits, right?

So who is Wild Meadows LLC out of Delaware?  (You can search for Delaware entities HERE.)

But back to this very cool history.  It is intriguing enough I found it on Twitter:

lloyd

Here is what it looked like on LoopNet:

horseshoe pike on loopnet

Also discovered this place on imgur with these two images from 2015:

It also appears archivally on reddit. Some comments were fascinating.

 

“Have you been here? I went to Lloyd dog park and found this when I walked up through the field. I really wonder what the story is on this place. Someone at the dog park thought the property is currently owned by a church.”

and…

“This was known as the Lloyd House. It has since been torn down.”

 

Now I have never been on this property. I have no idea what is stll standing on the property or not. If you have photos, please feel free to send them in a message via this blog’s Facebook page.

Do I have the answers as to what to do with this property? Sadly, no.  Don’t know that area well enough.  But if there is a pipeline easement, maybe the developer should go light on the development?

Again, how many cram plan developments does one county need? Who is driving this?

Historians and residents might wish to go to this meeting.  Remember residents, zoning can affect more than one spot, correct?

Chester County, we can’t just keep sitting idly by as chuck after chunk of land gets carved up.  Once open space is gone, it’s gone.  Once history is gone, it’s gone.

Here’s hoping the residents of Caln and their municipal neighbors have some Christmas Chutzpah (I know is that like a mixed metaphor or what?) and slow this freight train down.

So much to learn here and I will close with I am marveling at how Caln Township knows the history of this property and they think this is a good idea.

It’s stupid.  But I can only express my views as a resident of Chester County.  It’s up to the residents of Caln to turn it up and turn out on December 13th.

Tick tock, there is not much time.

I would say if you have historical questions to seek out the Downingtown Area Historical Society and  the Old Caln Historical Society.

Thanks for meandering with me.

ho,ho, ho the liars of lasership

lasership sucks 3

Imagine if Santa worked for LaserShip and said “Well…I actually work for LaserShip, so I really don’t have to deliver packages…maybe I will just dump the sack here and mark the packages “lost in transit” or “delivered””

 

Yesterday I wrote a post titled ’tis the season for undelivered packages with lasership.

Apparently my pet food from Chewy as of this afternoon was marked magically delivered as of December 2nd, 2018…when I was home all day…and LaserShip said it WOULD NOT be delivered that day.

Here is a screen shot I saved and was on my previous post yesterday (In red is my notation):

c02ef263-c781-4e4a-be44-03946375de7f

Here is a screen shot from the LaserShip website late this afternoon (In red is my notation):

a20ac024-f087-4d76-afc7-92b835893a5b

So I have to ask: where exactly did they leave this package? It wasn’t at MY front door. It also wasn’t left at any neighbors’ front doors.  And this is a package that has had a different story told about it every time I have called over the past few days.

First there was the old weather exception.  Kind of like Septa’s slippery rail season announcements, only sketchier.  We have had no blizzards, hurricanes, monsoons, or weather acts of God between Montgomerville, PA and Chester County PA.

Then there was the excuse of the “guy left it on the truck” but never bothered to deliver.

Then there was the excuse of they were SO busy but it will be delivered FIRST THING Monday morning.  It wasn’t.

Then there was the LaserShip comment of it was “somewhere in the warehouse” and would be delivered today.  It wasn’t.

But when I got REALLY pissed off is when they LIED to Chewy.com today and said “oh we delivered that Sunday” And it was the SAME woman at LaserShip in Montgomerville, PA that I spoke to who had a different story as to my package location at least three times within one conversation. And then there was the whole backdating their system to say the package was delivered two days after it wasn’t delivered.

ceo of lasership

Oh their CEO? His name is Blake Averill.

I left him a voicemail message today down in old Virginnie at LaserShip HQ.  The business is NOT Better Business Bureau accredited, incidentally. ( I called  (703) 761-9030)

I left him a voicemail message.  I also left him a LinkedIn message.  Here is what I said (essentially):

LaserShip should be OUT of business. (yes you should read this).

I have had several LaserShip tall tales. I have had employees say my package was left on a truck and never delivered, it is in the warehouse, Donald Trump has it, and so on. A litany of lies to myself and Chewy.com  which started with “weather exceptions” (there are none and have been none since I ordered from Chewy on 11/27/18) and today like magic your corporate jerks updated my tracking (by back dating) to say you delivered to my front door on Sunday December 2. NO THEY DID NOT. I home ALL day Sunday. I am sick of the lies. You should not be in business and I am having a LOT of fun saying that on social media. I am pissed.

You run a sketchy ship of liars at best.

deetsYes I know, not my most mature offering but I am done.  They are worse than Amazon Logistics and I did not think that was possible. They should not be in business. They have so many complaints they are right up there with bogus Breast Cancer charities.

Chewy.com has been staying in contact and they are sending me another pet food order on them. It should be on LaserShip.  What I do not understand is why businesses keep using LaserShip? When does the cost of doing business because of them get to be too much?

They have QUITE the Wikipedia page. My favorite is this:

 In March 2017, a customer caught a delivery man tossing a package containing a router on tape, damaging the contents, and reported the incident to Lasership. After the complaint, the delivery man then returned to the customer’s residence four times, prompting the customer to call the police.[15] The customer, identified as Robert Blake, spoke with the Vice President of LaserShip, who noted that the employee had been with the company for 10 years.[16] Reacting to this incident, New Haven-based attorney Tara Knight stated: “That really raises eyebrows. There could be an innocent explanation, but it’s kind of creepy and there could be a nefarious explanation as well.”

I also like the whole RICO case in 2014 involving LaserShip vs. The City of New York. Yes for real. Click on the hyperlink for the press release from the City of New York. A real case you can read about HERE.

Here are but TWO complaints on the Better Business Bureau website about them (there are hundreds of complaints there as well):

lasership review

 

Again I ask: HOW ARE THESE PEOPLE STILL IN BUSINESS?  They are it seems, BIG FAT LIARS.  If they just owned up to whatever the mishap is that caused my package to evaporate and never get delivered, I might be more understanding. But they are compounding lies upon lies and continuing to get caught so they are less than zero on the respect scale.

I still do not have my pet food. Who steals pet food?

I will have to reevaluate doing business with businesses that do business with LaserShip going forward and so should everyone else out there.

Dearest Santa, please send LaserShip reindeer poop for Christmas.

#LaserShipSucks pass it on.

’tis the season for undelivered packages with lasership

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From LaserShip’s Twitter Page. Oh the irony.

I did not think it was possible for there to be worse delivery services than Amazon Logistics ( I wrote about finding an entire big bag of dumped Amazon packages in September.) but there is worse.  They are called LaserShip or affectionately known as LazyShip and LaserSh*t.

Before I get any further, enjoy this video someone did on LaserShip who delivers for all sorts of people including Sephora, Chewy, and Amazon:

Here is what New York Magazine said about them in 2017:

SEPT. 27, 2017
LaserShip, Amazon’s New Shipping Partner, Might Be the Most Hated Company on the Internet
By Dan Nosowitz New York Magazine

There are certain industries that inspire outsize amounts of rage when they screw up. Airlines are one. TV providers are another. But angry comment for angry comment, there may be no more rage-inducing business than package delivery. If you want to garner widespread customer fury, just deliver a package late or damaged and wait for the storm to roll in. LaserShip — an Uber-like service that delivers packages for Amazon, Walmart, and Sephora, among others — might just be the most hated company on the internet. Some comments, helpfully gathered by the criticism website LaserShit.com…LaserShip — and the ocean of dissatisfied customers it leaves in its wake — is an inevitable result of stratospheric growth. Reliable shipping companies like FedEx, UPS, and the USPS aren’t able to deliver all of the same-day, next-day, and two-day packages ….That’s led to parasitic companies popping up to take advantage of Amazon’s need for cheap, fast package delivery. The poster child might just be LaserShip.

Twitter and many message boards, including posts on Amazon’s own forums, are full of complaints about LaserShip. Packages aren’t delivered. Packages are delivered late ….Packages are marked as delivered and not delivered. Packages are delivered to the wrong address. Packages are often just completely lost. (The message for that one is, “LaserShip is unable to confirm control of your package at this time.”) Sometimes, an error will show up on the tracking page: “Parcel damaged and will be discarded.” Customers who attempt to contact LaserShip report being totally unable to solve their problems; they are better off contacting ….whichever company they originally purchased their item from.

My experience started innocently enough. I needed pet food.  So I placed a Chewy.com order. On November 27.  Two day free delivery or free rush delivery (however they phrase it) and here we are on December 3rd…still waiting. (The website “pissed consumer” has over 1000 complaints about LaserShip.)

This is what my order looks like:

lazyship

When the order did not arrive by Friday, November 30, I started contacting Chewy.  First LaserShip told them there was a weather exception between Montgomeryville, PA and Chester County, PA. I debunked that myth for the lie that it was.

Then of course there is LaserShip on Twitter telling me to just email them. Ummm yeah, been doing THAT for a few days and NOT ONCE have I even received an acknowledgement that I contacted them. I even checked my spam folder.

Then I was supposed to get the delivery yesterday. After a phone call to LaserShip’s corporate offices in Vienna, Virginia (703 761-9030) and they subsequently transferred me to Montgomeryville, PA they changed their story yet again.  Supposedly my package was on a truck yesterday and the guy just never bothered to deliver.  And then the package wasn’t on the truck today and they did not know where it was and by the end of the conversation the story changed yet again.  My package was “somewhere” in the warehouse and would get delivered tomorrow, December 4th.

I do not believe them. I had to go out and buy other pet food.  I also let the pet food manufacturer know what was going on. You see, I only went back to Chewy to support them.

LaserShip doesn’t give a damn about me or my package and I know that.  I called them because sometimes you just have to. (You can also call LaserShip on 800-527-3764 or  804 -414-2590).

As consumers we are being  increasingly driven to online shopping every day, and what we lose is good customer service and companies that actually take pride in what they do. And these predatory shipping companies are also not paying employees well enough so they do not want to take pride in their work.  I have been told that by several sources when it comes to the drivers of Amazon Logistics out of the King of Prussia PA hub which services us around here, and well LaserShip is the same subcontracting business model, correct?

Problems with LaserShip are all over social media. It’s kind of crazy. They are really THAT bad.

Anyway, I just wish the companies we patronized didn’t use these cut rate shipping “solutions”. They just create more problems.