I don’t talk about my pets much. As a matter fact, even though I’m a blogger, there are a lot of things I don’t talk about because so many are such a judgmental jerks a lot of the time, and my pets are very dear to me.
Today has been a soul crushing day.
At around 5:00 PM I said goodbye to a beloved dog. I know I haven’t cried all of the tears that will come in the middle of the night, and I just literally have a heartache.
She came into our lives 10 years ago this coming October. She had been a puppy mill pull from Ohio. She landed at ArF in the Hamptons.
One fall day, after my sister had picked her up in the Hamptons, we drove to New York City to pick her up.
She was a tiny little miniature dachshund, and so scared when we first got her. She had lived in a cage the first two years of her life. She was little and fluffy, and had a very funny personality. Her entire life she spent between 8 and 8 1/2 pounds, so she was tiny.
When she would see you enter a room she would bounce. Or she did that for me, she would literally bounce up and down. And she was so fluffy. She had little Clydesdale feet. If I watched TV in bed, she would sit on my shoulder like a little furry parakeet.
She was a happy little thing with really bad eyesight, who would do zoomies throughout the house until you were exhausted watching her and your sides ached from laughing. She also was a big begger. And the last few years of her life, I think she had 11 teeth, and she still could beg with the best of them.
This past December, she went for her regular vet check up and everything was fine, but Dr Hahn told me she needed a dental. But then in January all of a sudden there was this little bump on the side of her face. I thought it was an abscess.
But when we took her in to see Dr Hahn eight weeks ago, the look on his face told me everything. It was a tumor. It wasn’t an abscess because it was on the side of her mouth in the rear where she had had teeth removed a few years ago.
When you have a veterinarian who cares about his humans as much as their animals, it really helps. And the look on his face was so stricken because it was the kind of tumor you couldn’t do anything about and was already growing so fast. It has been a long day and I can’t remember if it was a squamous cell or a melanoma but it was one or the other.
So we had eight extra weeks with her. And I made her a promise the day of her diagnosis that I wouldn’t keep her alive for me.
I remember when we first got the diagnosis people kept asking me what can’t you just operate on her? I know we couldn’t. She was a 12-year-old dog with a giant tumor. If people want a tip going forward, don’t question someone’s decision if they’ve already worked out a plan with their veterinarian. It is already hard enough when you get this news.
For the past eight weeks I have loved every extra minute. I’ve had to soften her food so she could eat, but even today she ate a full meal just really really slowly because by the time she woke up this morning she couldn’t really open her mouth because of the tumor.
It’s always so hard trying to figure out when the right moment is to say goodbye to our pets. They give us unconditional love that we truly don’t have in this world.  I had decided this weekend along with my husband that I was calling the vet on Monday because I could see the stage she was getting to. She kept trying for me, but I knew I had to be the grown-up here.
So we set the appointment for this afternoon. This morning when I got up, she gave me the “look.” She was tired and she was ready. So we had one last day together.
Then, in a matter of minutes, she was just gone. But like my other dogs before her, she will live in my heart and memories forever.
Goodnight little Georgie, I love you.
Please support the animal rescue of your choice in honor of my little girl.
It’s an 18th century farmhouse. There is at least one barn to go with it, but in order to see the barns, you have to be on the property, and that would be trespassing.
This farmhouse is on the Clews & Strawbridge/Clews Boats property. Here is the current property ownership information on the three parcels that comprise this property:
So this property came up as a topic of conversation locally within the past couple of years because the developer wanted to put a giant apartment building right there. The developer at that time said they would restore the farmhouse, and even back then I questioned it because it was like the building envelope was compromised or pierced.
In the end East Whiteland said no they didn’t want apartments right there, so there was no zoning change and it’s still the boat dealership. I looked on Google and the boat place has rather mixed reviews, so I don’t really have a feel for the business there.
Truthfully, I don’t care about the business there, but I really wish they cared about the farmhouse on their property. It’s a historic asset.
It’s total demolition by neglect and it’s horrible. And it’s NOT East Whiteland Township’s fault. They can’t control this. But they could check on the house to make sure it’s secure, given all of the broken windowpanes, etc.
Today St. David’s Church in Wayne, PA did a pop-up version of their annual fair. Flea market, books, clothes, kids toys, and more.
It was just fun. It was a beautiful day. A lot of people were out. Apparently they were lined up to get in before it even opened at 9 AM. The church raised a lot of money for their outreach.
I didn’t get tons of stuff but I found a few treasures!
I just love older colored glass. That vase is of indeterminate age, but hand blown which I love. A pair of never used April Cornell pillow shams for $6 and antique hand towels for $2 each.
A handmade pottery wren house for the garden. And some books. Including a very special one, that my friend Eddie Ross wrote and gifted to me today out of some treasures he found….and he personalized and signed it.
I also found a little garden sign.
But in this crazy and often unpleasant world in which we live, today was just a nice day. Happy people having a fun time shopping and volunteering and kids also having fun.
In life, we all need more days like this. Actual community in action.
Is there a fire on the floor or in the hearth because it looks like Mrs. Puddle Duck the Executive Disaster of Historic Harriton House built that on the floor? One would have thought she would’ve learned how to lay the fire by now? But then at her inaugural meeting 2 years the fire department came, right?
I am finally off of their mailing list but I have been told by people I know that they continue to send out letters for money etc. How long has it been since the rental property at 500 Harriton Rd. has been rented? They had it listed originally for $5000 a month which really made me laugh out loud. It has been empty since September 2023. So that means rent was last collected in September? The rent last paid by a tenant was $3000 a month so how do they justify the hike?
They had a wonderful tenant whom they gave the bum’s rush to and will they say why? I know that this person was probably the best tenant they had had since my friend’s sister and her husband rented it years ago, with another friend of mine in between. This most recent tenant whom I know? I provided an enthusiastic reference for them when the former executive director was there….but that was when Harriton still felt like Harriton….sigh.
I have to wonder if they fixed all the things that needed fixing in this property? It’s a very old building so things need maintenance and repair.
Listed for rent now for $4500 a month? Please don’t misunderstand me, it’s a charming rental, but it’s not worth what the ask is currently and it’s quirky. And I wonder what the realtor is getting as a rental commission because his mom is on the board of Harriton House yes?
So the Zillow listing has like 96 photos which is odd for a rental listing, or real estate listing in general. One of the photos on the Zillow listing gave me pause, because it shows there’s a problem with the inside ceiling, and this is a very important historic asset in Lower Merion Township. Is that wood rot? Rot from a leak? Is the roof okay?
Zoom in to the left to see some of the most obvious damage
Of course, my other thing I wonder about the attic is did they fix the missing panes of glass up there because there had been a couple of panes missing for years.
Also they don’t mention that this place has no air conditioning or a garage. And it’s a shared basement in a sense with the original historic part of the house, and that basement floods.
But the biggest question is how can the rental have the address of 506 Harriton Road when it’s attached to the historic home which is 500 Harriton Road? 506 was the address attached to the office and education center, so how does that work exactly?
So there’s this developer who presented the same plan about developing affordable (“attainable”) housing to West Goshen like the day before they made a pitch to West Chester Borough.
And again in West Chester Borough, it’s a developer drooling after that Church Street lot where the West Chester Growers Market is. One of the longest standing and truly wonderful farmers markets in our region, and they’re threatening it again. What is it about the church street lot that makes every developer have to have it ?
Also interesting about this other than the fact that the in my opinion back door presentation was done the day before West Chester Borough in West Goshen. Very interesting that both municipalities share the same solicitor, right? That’s kind of a coincidence that really isn’t, isn’t it?
So yeah, this developer is shopping. This idea all over the place correct? Give them the land they’ll build you supposed affordable housing. I have a bridge I can sell you.
And I know the solicitor isn’t going to like my opinion because they haven’t liked my opinion for years, have they? But the one thing they can’t remove are our constitutional rights to have an opinion and ask questions, correct?
And they said West Chester Borough has to make a decision in four days? Four days for a life, altering decision for residents, and one of the oldest farmers markets in the area? Most reasonably intelligent elected officials would walk away from such a proposition, but who knows what will happen with the Borough of West Chester, because that place is perennially slightly shady about stuff, right?
This is not about truly building affordable housing. This is just another way for developers to get projects built.
Look no local government should be assisting a developer with financing, correct? In the end is this all just to support the developers and those developers support?
And regarding the numbers of “needed” units, no one has asked them to produce the data that lead them to that number, have they?
If West Chester Borough or West Goshen really needs/wants “accessible housing” then apply for the state funding to do it . Or get a 3rd party 501c3, like SELF Inc. purchase an appropriate spot and create housing – same BS is happening in Montgomery County and Bucks too.
Supposedly, there are West Chester Borough Council meetings this week. Their website isn’t very good but I know this will be discussed, and people are entitled to public comment. People should check the agendas carefully because this is also something that would have had to have been properly advertised ahead of time, and have you seen it properly advertised anywhere? 
I will close this post with another snippet from the West Chester meeting this week. Listen and decide for yourselves. If I lived in West Chester Borough, I would get all my friends and neighbors at every public meeting this week to protest this. if I was running the West Chester Growers Market, I would be consulting with attorneys to make sure rights were protected, can’t you agree?
I used to love Wayne and North Wayne in particular. North Wayne had all these crazy cool houses from little workingman’s twins on Willow Avenue to the big Victorians on the surrounding streets.
But bit by bit and peace by piece it’s all disappearing. It’s like the Radnor Historical Society might as well not even exist any longer.
I happen to be on N. Aberdeen Ave. today because I got turned around. Not because any roads were close I just hadn’t been back there in forever. So when I was coming around N. Aberdeen I realized something was missing: Jonathan Lengel’s house built in 1888. He was a builder in Wayne when Wayne was becoming what we know her for today, or knew her for it because the houses keep getting torn down. He was the architect on the Wayne Hotel as a matter of fact and there is a suite named for him.
So Jonathan Lengel built himself a house at 236 N. Aberdeen Avenue in Wayne in 1888 or thereabouts.
In 2008 that house was threatened by predatory development:
Radnor planners will consider Lengel house demolition
The Radnor Township Planning Commission Monday will hear a proposal to tear down the home of Jonathan D. Lengel, a builder who constructed a number of significant houses in Wayne around the turn of the 20th century.
The owners of 236 N. Aberdeen Ave. in the “Little Chicago” section of North Wayne are proposing to tear down the single-family house, reportedly built in 1888 by Lengel for his family, and build two twin houses.
The property is in a dense community that suffers stormwater issues from Gulph Creek, which runs through it.
But in real life, it’s a subject of inch-high anecdotes and soggy stories of the worst kind of neighborly offense: problems that flow from multiple sources.
In the North Wayne neighborhood long nicknamed Little Chicago, where a number of people are second-generation residents, a proposed two-lot subdivision is causing concern over density, neighborhood fabric and of course stormwater.
The property in question is on the 200 block of North Aberdeen Avenue, a partially one-way street, where half of the homes (most with front porches and no driveways) have properties that slope down to Gulph Creek.
Across the creek are the back yards of homes on Willow Avenue.
There, a little more than a century ago, was the Wayne Natatorium, a fresh-water pool created there by damming the creek. Today, that history is still evident in soggy yards, flooding basements and an eroding streambank.
The proposed subdivision would cause the teardown of the 1888 home of Jonathan D. Lengel, a builder who constructed many homes and well-known buildings in Wayne during its first naissance.
What the would-be developers want to replace it with are two twin homes, both with two-car garages, which would double the impervious area on the property. To those on Willow, this brings fear of increased flooding. To some on North Aberdeen, it means a large structure with no architectural similarity to the majority of the neighborhood homes and the loss of at least three needed parking spaces.
The twins are reportedly modeled after those in a Chester County development.
What makes doubling the impervious coverage possible in this dense, waterlogged area is the adjustment of floodplain lines originally established by the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA).
In this case, the proposed change to the line moves it about 40 feet towards the creek bed, nearly in the creek bed….The commissioners were presented with the proposals, and its opponents, Monday at the caucus section of their meeting, where no votes are taken.
As for the design of the proposed twins, longtime North Aberdeen resident Rose Hyatt told the Planning Commission earlier this month, “To build these homes in our neighborhood, it looks like a joke. This isn’t a neighborhood for big houses and garages like this.”
On paper, stormwater is all about calculations. But in real life, it’s a subject of inch-high anecdotes and soggy stories of the worst kind of neighborly offense: problems that flow from multiple sources.In the North Wayne neighborhood long nicknamed Little Chicago, where a number of people are second-generation residents, a proposed two-lot subdivision is causing concern over density, neighborhood fabric and of course stormwater.
The property in question is on the 200 block of North Aberdeen Avenue, a partially one-way street, where half of the homes (most with front porches and no driveways) have properties that slope down to Gulph Creek.
Across the creek are the back yards of homes on Willow Avenue.
There, a little more than a century ago, was the Wayne Natatorium, a fresh-water pool created there by damming the creek. Today, that history is still evident in soggy yards, flooding basements and an eroding streambank.
The proposed subdivision would cause the tear-down of the 1888 home of Jonathan D. Lengel, a builder who constructed many homes and well-known buildings in Wayne during its first naissance.
What the would-be developers want to replace it with are two twin homes, both with two-car garages, which would double the impervious area on the property. To those on Willow, this brings fear of increased flooding. To some on North Aberdeen, it means a large structure with no architectural similarity to the majority of the neighborhood homes and the loss of at least three needed parking spaces.
The twins are reportedly modeled after those in a Chester County development.
When it comes to development I guess everything old is new again because 236 N. Aberdeen Ave., which was a historic house no longer exists. I have to ask what does the Radnor Historical Society do these days? I also have to ask what changed with stormwater management back there in Little Chicago because it hasn’t gotten better. It’s only gotten worse.
Here are some screenshots pertaining to 236 N. Aberdeen:
I really didn’t think it was possible that what was denied circa 2008/2009 would come back in 2024 and succeed. I mean common sense would dictate that the street hasn’t gotten any wider. The storm water hasn’t gotten any easier and yet here we are another historic house, gone out of Radnor Township, and some big behemoths will take its place which will have greater impact because of impervious surface coverage, parking, etc.
Someone told me when this house came up in meetings, they kept saying how horrible the house was etc. etc. It wasn’t horrible and it meant something and had context in the area where it was.
But then again, look at what happened to the Wayne Bed and Breakfast Inn? I drove past there today and it was horrible. Lots of big, expensive new construction going up with all the character of a Lego set.
And then there are the McMansions going up tremendously fast on Radnor Street Road. Naked acres. North Wayne used to be known for trees on Radnor Street Road and it’s like they just stripped the street and properties of trees and now you have McMansions growing there with lovely and more historic homes with trees and gardens across the street.
It’s really totally depressing going through the Main Line these days. Lower Merion and Radnor continue to lose their allure. Yes, it’s a very expensive suburb and as my one grandmother always said, money doesn’t know who owns it. But it’s so damn disappointing that people get together in the communities to save their communities and then they’re safe for a while and then a few years past and basically the same development plans come back or other development plans show up and it doesn’t matter.
If you want another plug from me for why the state representatives and the state senators in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania need to enact an act of the state constitution and update the Municipalities Planning Code, here you go.
I will leave you with an editorial that I wrote for Main Line Media News May 6, 2008. I think it still resonates. 
Ahhh Spring! The landscape is lush with greenness and the air heavy with the scents of lilac and old fashioned viburnum. But what else does spring bring us as citizens up and down the Main Line? A full course of new and disturbing smaller development plans to peruse.By the time this column hits the ink of a newspaper, two new and bothersome plans will have made their debut in front of two separate townships: the proposed destruction of 236 N. Aberdeen Ave in North Wayne, and the super sizing of footprint of 106 Cricket Avenue in Ardmore.
The plans for 106 Cricket are being brought to the residents of Ardmore by the fine folks who brought them the plans for 130 Cricket. Suffice it to say, when the township agreed with the residents that 130 Cricket Avenue was a plan that left a lot to be desired, it went to court on appeal.
With regard to 106 Cricket, I will admit I am at a loss: what does a developer or property owner do with a site that contains a mortuary or funeral home when that use is to cease? Personally, I would find it creepy to live atop a former death depot, but it isn’t up to me to judge. I will say that once again, as was the case of 130 Cricket, this plan is just too much plan for my comfort level. What happened to the thought of new development complimenting the surrounding area? Why is it most plans today simply overwhelm an area? No wait, don’t answer that. Profit margins.
In North Wayne, residents recently defeated the proposed inclusion of a public storage facility in their extended neighborhood (or at least for the time being). Now they have received news that a house of serious local historic value faces demolition so someone can build new homes on the site of 236 N. Aberdeen Ave. New development on one of the most congested streets in North Wayne? And what of that little thing called impervious surface coverage and stormwater management?
Why on earth in an utterly flood prone area would anyone with a brain wish to double impervious surface coverage on a fairly steep sloped lot that leads to the Gulph Creek? A plan that could have an immediate and negative effect on residents on the low side of the creek? No wait, don’t answer that. Profit margins.
Who cares about another small neighborhood, anyway? Who cares about the home that builder Joseph Lengel built for his own family in 1888 in North Wayne? Who cares that Joseph Lengel was one of the builders who executed the dreams of the famous architects who brought the fabulous structures to Wayne we all “ohh” and “ahh” over?
And while we are discussing plans, let’s revisit a few gems we have all read about or born witness to: Rugby Road in Bryn Mawr, Allaire on North Buck Lane in Haverford and the Exxon Station in Ardmore on Wood-side and Montgomery. What is occurring with these plans? Are these plans moving forward?
Rugby Road is apparently still alive, and as for Allaire? Who knows. Perhaps people don’t really don’t wish to pay big bucks to overlook an auto body establishment and live across Lancaster Avenue from a mattress store?
Finally, the plan to add a car wash and a mini mart convenience store to the Ardmore Exxon station? Seriously, what is wrong with these people? It’s not only a mostly residential area, but there is a Wawa right behind them, and a car wash already on Lancaster Avenue in Ardmore. Is it our fault that peddling gas isn’t as profitable as it used to be? Well, cry me a river, but I am not all that sympathetic considering what we are paying for gasoline these days.
What happens to small neighborhoods when these plans stall, end up in court, or get approved and simply don’t move forward as planned? Go visit some of these neighborhoods and judge for yourselves. It adds an air of sadness mingled with frustration. In a couple of cases, can it also be said it adds a whisper of true blight?
It is inconceivable that these odd small plans are still moving forward considering the current state of the economy, the real estate market, and the mortgage crisis, but they are. As affected residents, at times it feels like you have barely gotten through one issue, and yet another one arises. Maybe, just maybe, people had best take a look at proposed legislation in Pennsylvania (if it is still alive) that would allow local governments to exercise temporary development moratorias as needed: PA House Bill 904.
House Bill 904 is common sense, bi-partisan proposed legislation you have probably never heard of. Critics will argue that this raises property rights issues, but to them I ask the following questions: What isn’t a property rights issue in Pennsylvania? Don’t residents in an area potentially to be affected by development still have private property rights as well?
Well, enough out of me. I am going for a walk. I want to take every opportunity to enjoy nature before it’s all overdeveloped.
A postscript is a comment left on this very post:
Gosh, I hit a nerve. So is he related to the developer? Someone having something to do with Radnor Township? And why should I get over it because he’s uncomfortable because I’m talking about it? Why is it “best gone”? I’m not alleging anything. The deed is done. The house is gone and I’m expressing my opinion on this and other ugly development and unless they are going to repeal the First Amendment , he can actually just bugger off.
HT to West Goshen Sunshine for alerting all of us to this latest episode of stupidity by West Chester Borough.
Once again West Chester Borough is trying to develop the parking lot at Church and Chestnut for a fake “attainable” housing development and destroy the West Chester Growers Market? And I can tell you that I believe development there wouldn’t either be “attainable“ or affordable. In my humble opinion, it would just be another hot mess for this over developed town.
Presentation and discussion at 1:03. Assholes. And yes I just said that. Out loud.
Go to 1:03
It’s like literally every few years they have to have some latest greatest stupid development plan to destroy one of the regions most established and well respected farmers markets, and the neighborhood where it’s held.
The Borough of West Chester doesn’t need more development they can’t handle what they already have.
While the market may not bring huge revenue, tall buildings or more parking spaces to the Borough of West Chester, they do bring something of great importance:
COMMUNITY.
Please if you live in the borough, contact your borough representative and ask them to consider these factors as they make their decision:
This market hosts 2000+ people every Summer Saturday
They provide a sense of community, where neighbors talk to neighbors
Their market acts as a drawing card to downtown businesses. Customers frequently shop there after leaving the market.
If the lot is developed, there is a chance that the Growers Market will no longer be able to serve the community.
So please, if you value the sense of community and supporting the local farm fresh foods that our market has brought to West Chester, contact your borough representative and tell them what the market means to you.
The Borough Manager’s phone number is: 610-344-3346. His name is Sean Metrick. He came from the Borough of Narberth, and he should know better.
Even if you don’t live in the Borough, but if you patronize the West Chester Growers Market or work in the borough or have friends in the borough I urge you to contact West Chester ASAP.
Tell them the numbers of “needed” units is wrong, ask them to produce the data that lead them to that number. They have to prove that this isn’t just to support developers etc.
Somewhere along the line we have to start saying no, and meaning it for development that is removing things that are integral to our communities.
I don’t know why West Chester Borough seems to think this is a good idea every few years but it’s time for people to stand up now and stop this before it goes further.
This is not about affordable housing. This is about some developer getting a project and making money. This is about coin. Nothing more, nothing less and I can have that opinion.
Peace, life and maturity. They are not buzzwords, although some treat those words that way.
So there’s this thing I have seen posted on Facebook. When a friend of mine posted it, it was heartfelt and beautiful. Probably because I know this person and their heart.
But as is the case with many things that “sound good” completely depends on who is saying or sharing it. It adds context. Subsequently when I saw a version of what a friend shared and edited to suit someone else’s narrative, it really struck a chord, and it wasn’t a positive chord.
There are things that people put out into the world that they would like everyone to see, but what is happening behind the scenes in reality is often quite different.
I am often criticized for what I put on social media. And the reason for that is simple, I tend to tell you how I am feeling and why. I don’t sugarcoat it and I don’t do some fake life on Facebook and reality is completely different. I also have never felt the need to be connected to everyone or be an “influencer” or “public figure.”
I definitely prefer relationships and friendships that aren’t fragile and easily broken. Or volatile. I take my relationships and friendships seriously. I put time and effort into them, but there are people that you meet in this world who will suck the life out of you. And I’m not being mean, it just is what it is.
I like relationships were trust goes both ways. But there are people who break trust, and maybe it’s a weakness or a character flaw on my part but when trust is broken I’m pretty much done.
This thing that is circulating has this whole other component to it about when you’re with people you don’t want “bad” and what does that even mean? Humans are flawed, right? Life is never perfect although not necessarily bad, right?
And I agree wholeheartedly that no one wants bitterness or anger or awkwardness when they meet. But then you have to ask the question if you feel that way, why? And if you feel that as a reaction to someone, is it something you did or someone else did? Because in that tangled mess of human emotion, there are things like personal accountability. And there is also the truism that people will outgrow each other. That’s sadly life.
And some others I also saw posting a version of this really don’t have personal accountability. Ever. And I say that as someone who fully admits they are not perfect as a human being, and saying you’re wrong can be hard, but you have to own it sometimes. No one likes admitting that they screwed up. Accountability is work, and the world we live in today means a lot of people don’t want to deal with personal accountability at all.
And that whole speaking or not speaking part of this? That is one of those life things that has been going on since we were all in elementary school. And it does get exhausting. Another component of that is the whole thing of someone acting like things are fine when you are face to face, but spreading the tea behind your back to curry social capital? For me, those are the people I just quietly walk away from. And if I’m brutally honest, sometimes it’s not so quiet and I am OK with that because those are my feelings. 
When sometimes you may not be so quiet about doing the leaving, it can be quite emotional. When you invest time and emotional energy into a relationship or friendship, and you feel betrayed, it’s just hard. So sometimes the words don’t fall out of anyone’s mouth with grace. And then there are those who no longer deserve grace.
Yes, there are plenty of people that I’m also sure should or could learn to say they are sorry for their behavior. But there are some people who justdon’tsee their behavior for whatever reason.
And then there are the people who will apologize for something, but it’s not really because they know they did something wrong, it’s something they know they should do.
Sadly, with some as you get older, their apologies are hollow and don’t really mean much. And again, it’s because their apologies aren’t particularly heartfelt. They just know it’s something they should do societally and socially.
And that’s not a mere question of maturity. It’s just the way some people are built emotionally.
It goes back to that whole thing that I’ve mentioned before that people talk about concerning relationships in all of our lives. There are people who are in your life for a reason, a season, and lifetime. We all can admit that it’s not a happy place to be when you realize that you have to let some people go.
Being able to let go of people who have ended up feeling toxic in your world does bring you peace. But getting there is not an easy decision, and at least for me it’s never been made lightly. And there have been plenty of times where I have thought I made the wrong decision, and then I go back and let the person back into my life again, and the pattern just repeats itself.
So, for me with age, comes the knowledge that I need to listen to myself. And there is also the time that you allow yourself to mourn these relationships and/or friendships that didn’t make it.
Peace for me in particular means having people in my world who aren’t fake. Sure they can hold others accountable but they also have a full sense and grasp of self-accountability. I respect that.
Peace for me means friendships that are real, not conditional, not merely when convenient.
These thoughts have come with maturity, not necessarily meaning I am the most mature person on the block all of the time, it’s more of an age and possibly life experience definition of maturity.
At the end of the day, I think we want our relationships and friendships to be on an equal footing. And that is to further say that there is a balance between give-and-take.
I am finding as I get older, that the people who seem to take more than they can ever give, are the people I keep at arm’s length. And many cases it’s not because they’re bad people, it’s just because who wants to be in a relationship or friendship where you feel constantly used?
There will always be people in your life who are more fair weather than not. And if you enjoy their company, then you learn to balance the good with the bad and keep it superficial unless you simply decide to move on. And that is something that can be hard to figure out, because there are people whom you may make time for, and when you go to them because you need somebody to make time for you, they’re not there. And it’s not that they are inherently selfish, they just don’t have the bandwidth to give.
But at the end of the day, if you want people in your life who are real, then you have to be real in return. You also have to be accepting that they’re not always going to agree with you, and you’re not always going to agree with them.
If we want change we need to start with ourselves, right?
Look! It’s that person who is increasingly elusive in Chester County known as a real farmer.
This guy doesn’t farm on the roof top of the Whole Foods in Exton, and he doesn’t have a glam squad that sets him up for photo shoots, wardrobe, hair, and nails. He also doesn’t have a publicist to tell the world that he’s a farmer. That is profession and his calling, and you can tell by what he does that he’s an actual and real farmer.
This is a farmer like many others who works hard. I think undoubtedly could use a big juicy federal grant, but you won’t see him wishing to collect a James Beard award because he would probably look at you funny.
So politicians and others take note. This is a real farmer on a real tractor in a real field.
And if you folks out there know any real farmers, you will know that not only do they work hard, they are fairly down to earth and humble. They will always tell you about their crops, but they won’t brag. They are genuine.
Support your farmers. They are all important. Even the ones without glam squad and professional publicists. Think of them as agricultural influencers without social media, only blood, sweat, and tears, and Mother Nature.
We also need more real farmers and less development.
