Yesterday I went out. I never left the car mind you, but I went out into the world. To pick up my plants from the Philadelphia Unit of the Herb Society of America. I went up to Brooks Coventry Plants.
It was lovely to be out. A beautiful day, a beautiful county. A great day to be alive.
Observations: shopping centers sitting empty is eerie to see. Developments being built that are stopped? Makes me wish they would just disappear and farm and field would return.
Life at a veritable standstill continues to feel unnatural. Or maybe it’s that it’s a pace we don’t understand in our modern world. But not all of the time. Sometimes it’s actually nice. Except that it would be nice to be able to enjoy our slower life pace with our friends and family.
My husband is an awesome guy. He is so calm, and that keeps the rest of us calm. Most of the time.
However, I find myself waking up at odd times of the night. Worrying. I am not consciously worrying but my subconscious works overtime some nights when I am sleeping. Sigh.
How long have we been doing this now? Since March? How do we all get back into the world, wherever in the world it is we live?
I am teaching myself to bake bread. I have been repairing my vintage quilts. I have been gardening. But I will admit my inner domestic diva would love a manicure about now.
Do you find your thoughts jump around sometimes with all this time to ourselves? It’s like ADD by COVID19.
I can tell you I am anxious about upcoming medical appointments that are all turned around and a little sideways because of COVID19. And it’s almost my 9th anniversary post breast cancer…which is why it’s time for all of the testing and meeting with my oncologist. It’s kind of stressful under normal circumstances. Add a sprinkling of COVID19 precautions and new procedures and well…stressful and a little scary.
Well I am still not sure of the rhyme or the reason for this post. It kind of just “is”. We are muddling through but some days it just feels muddling.
Thanks for stopping by.
I will preface what I am about to say with I do NOT disagree with the fact that we need to take steps to get things open again. Only I don’t really know what that looks like because there are some businesses that are going to be harder than others to re-open because of the proximity employees have to customers like with restaurants, bars, hair salons and barbershops.
But the photo you see above taken today in West Chester downtown at the old courthouse is not how to do it.
I think these people are freaking idiots, truthfully.
They aren’t wearing masks they aren’t even social distancing. They are just waving “open” flags. These are the kind of people who are going to keep us closed longer because these are the kind of people who are going to catch COVID-19 or coronavirus by their behavior and spread it.
Do these people think they are actually going to sway elected officials with this protest today? They aren’t. But if any of them pop up with the virus we’re going to be closed longer.
It’s an actual global pandemic. It’s not some political tool to control us. I think this is ridiculous.
Sign me irritated by stupidity.
We have been at this since March. I admit it, it’s getting old. Our birthday is in a couple of days and never in a million years did I think my husband and I would be celebrating a stay at home birthday. It’s not like we are party animals, but we always do something like have dinner at Fiorello’s Cafe in West Chester. I miss going to Fiorello’s.
We don’t go out tons and I am a homebody, but I am starting to miss the world around me. I talk to and FaceTime my friends but I miss seeing them. It’s spring and I miss treasure hunting with one friend. I miss having “Fran Days” with another. And I miss the Brunch Bunch. It feels like forever since we were all together.
I miss my parents . I haven’t seen them since before Christmas because everyone was sick and my knee surgery was the day after Christmas, so we all weren’t together. Which was weird.
So here we are in COVID19 land now until June 4th. I think we are extended in part because of all of the people not doing their part. There are so many people bitching. It’s enough to make you want to scream.
Do these people think we all collectively love what is going on? Hell no. But we’re a long time dead.
I will admit I am anxious. About money, security, paying my goddamn overpriced health insurance. I have had nightmares a couple of times a week for two months almost at this point. It happens every damn time I watch the news. The news is overwhelming over-saturation and it’s rather repetitive and gloomy. I stopped looking at Chester County’s statistics website. I no longer want to know how many are sick and how many have died.
June 1st is my 9 year anniversary of my breast cancer surgery and I am terrified of getting my mammogram. Not because of the mammogram, I am afraid to be around sick people. I am afraid to get sick. It’s ridiculous. I am feeling ridiculous.
I keep thinking about two of my neighbors’ kids. Seniors in high school. They should be going to prom and celebrating all their hard work. Instead they are just soldiering on being really great kids.
Dreams. Is anyone else having really screwy dreams since this whole Coronavirus started? I have had dreams about the places I have lived since I was a really little kid. It’s bizarre, strange, and comforting. It is also fascinating what your subconscious remembers after decades that you think you’ve long forgotten.
Assholeism. There seems to be a lot of that going around. There are a lot of people out there that should be ashamed of the way they are behaving. I’m not saying my behavior has been perfect. But this global pandemic has in a sense brought out the worst in a lot of people. And it’s like because we’re in the situation they have the perfect excuse to be their worst possible selves. I’m not buying it.
Also to be commented on is the political B.S. I am watching friends who take public service seriously getting the business put to them way too much.
It’s the political status quo. The do nothings are miserable and threatened and we can’t tolerate that crap as voters any longer. They all look so fab posing for photos on Facebook but they are still duplicitous jerks who are utterly self focused.
School districts. Like everyone else they are freaking out. But are we really going to have to watch them like hawks to make sure they don’t raise the hell out of our taxes? We are living in uncharted and unprecedented times in this global pandemic known as COVID-19 or Coronavirus.
People are out of work, they have reduced hours, reduced salaries. Now is not the time to raise taxes on the residents. Now is the time for school districts to tighten their proverbial belts and cut expenses. And don’t tell me it’s not possible, in every business and school district it is possible if you have to do it. They cannot ask all of the residents, many of whom are on very fixed and limited incomes, to pay more right now. Some are already choosing between things like food vs. medicine.
And oh my gosh if you dare say any of this out loud you are a very bad person who is anti-schools and anti-teachers which is crap. I reject that. It’s not fair.
People are stretched so thin. We all feel some days like a boomeranging rubber band with our literal nerves. How can we not? This is kind of crazy like a made for T.V. suspense movie masquerading as real life.
Today is one of those days I feel the weight of the crazy world we live in. My realistic mind knows the end is in sight, but I worry about what comes next. And we can’t predict the future and shouldn’t borrow trouble, but today is one of those days. The glass is not half empty per se, but I feel cranky and intolerant today.
This is when I need to count my blessings and take a deep breath. This too shall pass. And some day in the future, we will look back and talk about surviving a global pandemic.
We can do this. We can. But in the meantime I will keep on gardening and learning how to bake bread. I also might finish repairing two vintage quilts.
The thing about life is situations always teach us more about who we are as human beings. The good, and the bad. The imperfections which seem ridiculously magnified given what we are all living through right now. But love and caring? That grounds us, that anchors us. And the last part is faith. Faith in a higher power, God, each other that we will get through this.
Tomorrow is another day, Miss Scarlett. Tomorrow is another day.
Be well and stay well.
Thanks for stopping by.
Like many others out there, I am choosing to vote by mail this coming primary election. The date for the primary election is now June 2nd.
When I found out in mid-March that we could do this, I registered online for my mail in ballot. I am someone, who as a cancer survivor and still active cancer patient, is considered immunocompromised.
After I registered online at https://www.pavoterservices.pa.gov/OnlineAbsenteeApplication, I first received a confirmation letter acknowledging my application. Then a couple weeks later I received an email that I mistakenly thought was from Chester County telling me my ballot was being mailed out. Only I never received anything. And because my mail sorts through Wilmington, Delaware before coming back to Chester County, I tried to contact Chester County Voter Services.
Because of the coronavirus world we live in I wasn’t successful at first in contacting the county. So I completed a second ballot application. I still received nothing. So I reached out to Chester County Voter Services again. This morning a lovely lady called me back.
Apparently the acknowledgment email we receive along with the additional email that tells us our ballots are being mailed out are generated on a state platform and not a county level. I mistakenly thought the notification of ballots being mailed out came from the county. Apparently I am also not alone in that misperception. This has created some confusion, as have a lot of things quite frankly being issued from the state level these days. (This is all uncharted territory in a global pandemic and health crisis, so for once in my life I’m actually trying not to be hypercritical.)
Chester County IS mailing their ballots now. BUT if you filed more than one application with the state (like I did) because you were afraid your ballot was lost it’s gumming up the works quite literally. Every time you do a new application it sounds like it kind of voids the other applications, so what is happening is it’s essentially a stop check in the system so people don’t get more than one ballot. Basically we’re slowing ourselves down if we’ve done this. And while I only filed a second application, there are a lot of voters who have filed multiple applications.
If you think your ballot is late but you have the email that proves that you successfully completed the application, DO NOT complete additional applications like I for one did. Contact voter services. They are essential workers so a lot of the time they actually are in the offices but the phones are restricted sometimes because I don’t think there are as many people in the officers to answer them. The phone number is 610-344-6410.
Below is a screenshot of what the online request for mail in ballot looks like. Please note if you want to vote by mail, your county office MUST have your application NO LATER THAN 5PM on May 26. Please make sure you complete and mail it ASAP when you receive it because it has to be received by Election Day which again is now June 2nd.
Thanks for stopping by.
It is no surprise that people have always said of me that I do not suffer fools gladly. I don’t. I try to keep it to a dull roar but Coronavirus has created entire legions of #CovidIdiots.
Why do these people have to go out of their way to make things more difficult?
Yesterday in a local group, someone posted a PennLive article about the number of Coronavirus deaths and cases in Pennsylvania. This odd woman whom I do not know posted crazyniess in return. “LIES” she kept posting. Like it’s not really happening. She was asked to not deliberately try to stir people up with that and behave in a NON-inflammatory manner. By me as a group administrator.
Instead of dialing it back this woman decides to start messaging me (quoting directly):
I am sorry that you can’t believe that this entire situation is a political tool.
I am a 2 time cancer patient with only one lung and i had this virus. I am just fine.You may remove me from your group since it seems like it is mandatory for all to accept LIES. Shame on you.
God bless you and your family.
For real? Was I supposed to put up with this on a lovely Sunday afternoon while sitting in my garden?
Shame on me? Up hers. I am also a cancer survivor. Two cancers.
If she survived the virus then she is TRULY blessed, but it doesn’t make everybody else “liars”.
Bless her heart as I reject blessings from faux Christians like that.
As one would expect, she continued to message me. According to her I am a “TRAITOR”.
Traitor of what? Is this Nazi Germany? Sorry not sorry I am watching this amazing series World on Fire on PBS, and last night’s episode featured a Nazi zealot. A woman ironically who seemed all busy accusing people and co-workers of imaginary transgressions. It made you think of the zealots we are encountering today.
I love the blocking functions available.
Next up on the hit parade is someone I knew a little but not a lot in high school. Their burning question on COVID-19 was:
Something to ponder: why hasn’t the COVID-19 ravaged the homeless? One would think that the tent cities would be rampant, given the close quarters….
Hmmm. So no, this isn’t someone who volunteers at local homeless shelters or volunteers for an advocacy group. They went onto say they missed wherever they used to live but (paraphrasing) was uncomfortable in such a “permissive” area and oh yeah (direct quote) “Legalizing recreational weed was a stupid move and it will never be retracted because the gov makes too much money out of it.”
HUH??? What in the Sam Hell does legalizing pot have to do with Coronavirus? The answer of course is nothing, but the born again pious have to get all the political witch doctoring in at once. Would that they were so innocent way back when and that much I do remember. And I think that is what galls me the most, the utter hypocrisy of it all.
Also, how do they know virus is not rampant among the homeless? One of the larger problems as I see it is stuff is being under-reported everywhere and if a homeless person dies on the street they go to the morgue and a lot of morgues have a backlog. These are the people without doctors so you don’t know unless populations have been tested in certain areas. These are the invisible in the world, so are they counted first? Probably not.
This virus is a huge inconvenience to everyone but we’re all a long time dead. This virus is a real thing it’s not some giant conspiracy theory. I just don’t get people. Especially people who are stay at home whatevers normally anyway.
And then there is an older lady I know peripherally locally. She is a firm believer that the Coronavirus is a fake and everyone is out to restrict her civil liberties. She posted a photo of herself on a SEPTA train wearing a mask covering her EYES. And some comment about how SEPTA “urges” people to wear masks. Did I mention she is in an age demographic who is highly susceptible to Coronavirus?
Do I like wearing a mask on the random TWO times I have been out since this started? No. It’s hot and my glasses fog. But we are supposed to do it right? What is the point of being a rebel with a #COVIDidiot cause these days? Wouldn’t everyone like to get on with life?
We are NOT experiencing communism, Marxism, or socialism. We are experiencing a GLOBAL pandemic. I mean GET A GRIP.
I am really losing patience with people who have this crazy myopic perspective. It is of course their right to be #COVIDidiots but this is why the virus will flare up in areas and/or we will be longer getting back to normal.
So nope. I definitely do not suffer fools gladly. Especially now. And I say that as someone who is not perfect, but who is trying.
It’s May Day. Some are scratching your heads. Beltane. Still scratching your head?
From the History Channel:
The Celts of the British Isles believed May 1 to be the most important day of the year, when the festival of Beltane was held.
This May Day festival was thought to divide the year in half, between the light and the dark. Symbolic fire was one of the main rituals of the festival, helping to celebrate the return of life and fertility to the world.
When the Romans took over the British Isles, they brought with them their five-day celebration known as Floralia, devoted to the worship of the goddess of flowers, Flora. Taking place between April 20 and May 2, the rituals of this celebration were eventually combined with Beltane.
Another popular tradition of May Day involves the maypole. While the exact origins of the maypole remain unknown, the annual traditions surrounding it can be traced back to medieval times, and some are still celebrated today.
Villagers would enter the woods to find a maypole that was set up for the day in small towns (or sometimes permanently in larger cities). The day’s festivities involved merriment, as people would dance around the pole clad with colorful streamers and ribbons.
May is named for Maia, the ancient Roman Goddess who was the incarnation of the earth mother and goddess of spring.
Those of us who went to St. Peter’s School at 4th and Pine in the Society Hill section of Philadelphia will always remember May 1 fondly. Heck if you lived near the school on May 1st you will always have May Day memories. Which is why I was a little wistful this morning when I realized there would be no Maypole or dancing at St. Peter’s today.
May Day, early 1970’s St. Peter’s
May Day was so awesome. We donned our spring best and we did many traditional Celtic things including dancing around the Maypole. The multi-colored ribbons being woven in and out as we danced. (Here is a video from the School in Rose Valley so you can see.) There were also pipe dancers over clay pipes.
May Day was one of the best things about being a kid back then. Ribbons and balloons and music. All your friends and parents were there. It was so joyful. (St. Peter’s photos found here – not mine.)
So Happy May Day to my childhood friends! Happy May Day to all of you!
A few years ago I started a gratitude jar. It’s about positive affirmations. It’s about being grateful.
It’s nothing complicated. You write down little things in your life you’re grateful for onto little pieces of paper and you put it in the jar. Some people empty out the jar on an annual basis and start fresh, others let the little slips of paper accumulate. I don’t add to it as often as I should, but I have let all my little slips of paper accumulate and once in a while I read them.
“Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.”
Feeling grateful as a powerful emotion. An hours a time where as hard as it is we also have to be grateful. Grateful that we are alive. Coronavirus and COVID-19 is separating so many people from their families. Coronavirus and COVID-19 are killing people in our communities every day.
Our new decade has started with a global pandemic and that has a lot of negatives to it. But if we’re doing our part and we’re staying home and we’re with our loved ones, that’s something to be grateful for. Even if we’re all separated and we’re all OK it’s still something to be grateful for.
Small things matter. Giving thanks matters. Do you keep a gratitude jar?
I actually think angels are weeping over the behavior of humans. Some days in this land of coronavirus in which we live it is hard to be anything but repulsed by fellow human beings. People keep saying over and over that this virus brings out the best and worst in people. Over the weekend I saw the worst again.
NextDoor is a social media platform that a lot of people who are on it for some reason don’t think it’s actually a social media platform. The end result are things that you wouldn’t even see on Facebook at times. Sociologically and psychologically it’s fascinating even when it’s terribly sad.
A conversation thread went up over the weekend of someone looking for literally Chinese takeout food. A lot of the restaurants are closed, one in particular may have lost their lease but no one is sure, and because of the horrible nickname COVID-19/coronavirus has been given, I think a lot of these places are closed because they’re scared of peoples’ reactions to their nationality.
The thread was humming along with people posting restaurants open and closed here and there and then boom! All of a sudden up pops this one woman who says something to the effect of she couldn’t believe anyone would want to patronize Chinese restaurants. this person goes on to write other things that can only be described as both prejudiced and racist.
Then a separate post pops up. From a gentleman who ironically claims to have an Asian descended wife. And it’s basically why would anyone want to have Chinese food they caused the virus and my Asian wife agrees with me. I am paraphrasing, but that was the gist of their post.
I sort of sat there gob smacked looking at it because this is a person whom I know to be intelligent and can be quite thoughtful. But sometimes they go off the rails and I guess this is one of those occasions. But to take an entire nationality to task over a virus that may or may not have originated in a particular country is just repugnant. I say originated because I don’t think anyone has determined the ultimate point of origin for coronavirus/COVID-19. And I think starting and originating are two different things.
It’s also the whole sick argument of if people look different so they must be different, therefore they must be bad and I just can’t stand it. And I just am amazed at the hate that is fomenting in this country even more so than before the virus took over our lives.
I am descended from people who were discriminated against in this country because of their nationality. Irish, Italian, and German. And don’t forget the religion – I’m Catholic. That’s been a huge problem here and there in this country as well. And not just today because of the issue of pedophile priests.
I have a step sister-in-law who is Taiwanese by birth. I have another good friend who is Taiwanese by birth. I have an honorary Chinese mother who is also actually Taiwanese by birth. These three women are all important to me and I feel very lucky to have them in my life.
I have other friends who are Indonesian and others who are Korean and Vietnamese. I do not look at any of these people with descriptive tags attached. Their cultures are unique and beautiful and they share them openly and generously with all of us. Just like my friends of other cultures like Poland, Romania, the UK and Ireland, France, Germany, Spain, Latin America, and so on and so forth. My friends come in many different races and nationalities and isn’t that part of what being an American is about?
We are a country born of immigrants and founded of immigrants. Yet we seem to be devolving into a country of pig ignorant people. Racism and prejudice seems to be rampant right now. And why can’t we just take a breath and pause? Why do we have to be so hateful to one another? We are all affected by what is happening because of COVID-19/Coronavirus.
I also know people who have adopted children of different nationalities and even different skin colors than their own. These sentiments for lack of a better description terrify them. They worry how it will affect their children, if their children will be safe in this world in which we live. And can you really blame them?
We (again) are a nation born of immigrants. It’s our literal history. This country was formed because people wanted a better life and less persecution and religious freedoms.
Yet here we are.
Every time something goes wrong in this country instead of dealing with it you have some faction that goes off and place the blame game with races and religions.
My wish, heck my prayer for this country, is we stop and pause and use this time out of our control to better our country, to stop the hate.
Yes it’s a tall order. But we never seem to learn from our history how to deal with our mistakes. And among those that are the most grievous are racism and prejudice.
I’m far from perfect, you all are far from perfect. To be human is to be imperfect. But we just have to try to do better.
Please. We are stronger together than apart. And that is a big component of why things are so agitated right now. You have the whole economic fallout from coronavirus/COVID-19 and then there’s the emotional component. But we have to stay the course.
Pay it forward when you can. If you can’t just do your part and stay home. And try not to blame other races and nationalities for something that is beyond the world’s control at this point.
I wish you all peace this week.
We are ALL struggling to varying degrees on some days because this is not an easy thing we are going through.
The world of Coronovirus / COVID19 sucks. There is no other word for it. We all need to be able to hit the pause button, or should hit the pause button, but so many aren’t, are they? And so many can’t. Their head is stuck on a loop of uncertainty.
I have not cried at all over this thing we’re all stuck in… until this morning. CBS This Morning honored some of the dead. Yes, those who died from Coronovirus. A young firefighter from Chicago. And the one that really got me? A mom who was my age who died and her son with Down’s Syndrome a few days later.
Did I know any of these people? No, but I cried just the same. This could be any of us right now.
This crapola is real, people. And no, Lysol isn’t going to save us so for God’s sake ignore that suggestion from our President to inject disinfectants. And no, it’s not fake news. Just the verbal meanderings of an utter narcissist.
I know people are delaminating, and rainy days don’t help. But there are people with real troubles so I have a problem with the attention seekers. These people are popping up on social media. They are freaking out friends and acquaintances.
Suffice it to say, things I do not respect include people threatening to harm themselves… just for attention.
Please do NOT cry wolf for attention.
Why? Because it means when someone is truly in crisis, help might not get there in time.
I have seen it happening and the other day someone who is not someone I personally know freaked a lot of people out. Not very nice. And very, very selfish.
Maybe I sound hard-hearted here. I am not. I think this person probably really needs help. I hope they get help. But I have lost people in my life who were friends to suicide. They didn’t warn us. They didn’t announce anything on social media or elsewhere. They just did it. And left lots of people to pick up the pieces. It’s a heartbreaking thing that haunts those left behind. But I think in a time like this to cry wolf is perhaps even more awful.
So again, please don’t cry wolf. Please. We are all having good and bad days right now. I have a friend who is living with a man whom I know is delaminating. This person has been completely irrational and I am worried about my friend. Part of me wishes he would just pack up and leave. He is creating a verbal and emotional reign of terror.
Whether we have families we are home with or even if we are living alone, this COVID19 existence is lonely. I for example hate the hashtag #TogetherApart because in my head it’s #TogetherAlone, which is so depressing.
Even a homebody like me wants to get out of the house. But I know I have to stay home. I miss my friends and my family. I miss my routine. I miss normalcy.
Except I can’t help but wonder what normal will mean and what normal will become when restrictions are lifted? What will be our new normal going forward? Going back in time to the last global pandemic, don’t you wish we had some survivors of that to talk to? To learn what their lives were like and what changed? What became their new normal?
History seems to go on a loop. Just when we think we’ve learned, history repeats itself. How can we actually learn from history so it sticks?
A friend of mine said today that her emotions are very close to the surface these days. That resonates. We all are living a heightened emotional existence to an extent because nothing much is normal. And some days I think we all do have to dig deep to stay positive and to be present.
I wish personally some days I could turn my head off. But I have to remind myself we don’t know what is next, and not to borrow trouble. We have to believe. I am grateful my family is alright near and far. I am grateful I have a garden I can tend and a home I can nest in.
The song videos? Just songs I have listened to this week on Spotify playlists. You have to have music in your life. No particular underlying meaning. Just songs I like that appeared on playlists this week.
Hit the pause button. Listen to some music. Remember the blessings we do have all around us even in a world full of turmoil and uncertainty.
I will close with a quote a friend of mine put up:
He will feed his flock like a shepherd. He will carry the lambs in His arms, holding them close to his heart.