back to demolition by neglect at 310 lancaster avenue malvern, pa (the rotting clews and strawbridge house)

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I took this photo in March, 2025. It continues to rot.

Let’s go back to East Whiteland. To 310 Lancaster Avenue in Malvern, you know where Clews & Strawbridge Boats is?

Once upon a time that farmhouse looked normal. It is part of 3 separate parcels of land totaling about 5 acres. Main Line Watercraft Realty is the name, but looking into the deeds and mortgage, a name emerged. I will post those documents and you can look for yourselves. But hey, this man sits in a very nice house on pricey real estate in the region (not Chester County), while one of Chester County’s historic assets just ROTS and that is so truly terrible isn’t it? And if this property owner cared about the house and historic barn, wouldn’t they be better looked after? Now I am not writing this man’s name, although he has appeared in many public facing media things, especially for his day job so to speak right? No he’s not a real estate developer is he?

All I know is this historic house was once owned by artist Margaret Strawbridge Clews, who died at 91 in 2010. She must be turning over in her grave at the condition of that house, right?

I found her obituary. Here is a link and allow me to share from it:

https://www.legacy.com/us/obituaries/seacoastonline/name/margaret-clews-obituary?id=24425566

HANOVER – Margaret Strawbridge Clews died August 6th at the age of 91 – just six days after she warmly welcomed each of her children, grandchildren, and all eleven great grandchildren as well as nearly 100 friends to the opening of her one-woman art show at the Howe Library in Hanover, NH. Born into the postwar debutante world of Philadelphia in 1919, the year women got the right to vote, she was a life-long activist and artist – devoting much of her art to her favorite causes of women’s rights and peace.

Mrs. Clews was the granddaughter of the founder of Philadelphia’s landmark department stores, Strawbridge & Clothier. With Mancha Madison Clews, her husband of 66 years, she was the proprietor of their family boat business, which thrives to this day in Malvern, Pennsylvania. Their company, Clews and Strawbridge, was the only combination marine & Saab automobile dealership in the USA.

She was a graduate of The Shipley School and of Pennsylvania Academy of Fine Arts. Exhibiting her first work at the age of 16

Do we think Margaret would love this decay? The decay of a once lovely 18th century farmhouse? She came up in a post I wrote in 2019:

chester county memories

Here is Margaret’s engagement announcement from the New York Times in 1940:

Here are some more clippings including Margaret’s husband’s death in 2006:

Here’s a post about Margaret’s in-laws and their French Chateau:

The Weird World of Henry and Marie Clews

Another bunch of posts written by one of her children, and Mr. Clews’ obituary:

https://www.snodoglog.com/Margaret-S-Clews.html

https://www.snodoglog.com/10-Family-Photo.html

https://www.fosters.com/story/news/local/2006/12/19/mancha-clews/52554614007

https://www.snodoglog.com/M-Madison-Clews.html

Now Lincoln Highway/Lancaster Pike/Lancaster Ave was laid out in 1732 according to the Tredyffrin-Easttown Historical Society. This farmhouse I was told years ago was built in 1734. And the current property owner just lets it sit and rot? And the rest of the property looks pretty shabby too, doesn’t it? I remember how nice it once looked because years and years ago when the Saab dealership was there, I had friends who got their Saabs there.

310 lancaster ave for sale brochureDownload

I found a brochure advertising the property from a realtor. Don’t know if this is still being marketed by this person or not. So who else is concerned about this property? It narrowly escaped being a very dense residential development a few years ago correct? So now what?

demolition by neglect, east whiteland township, chester county

The house COULD be saved, but not unless the owner sees the light right? He lives far enough away he doesn’t drive by it every day so it’s just something in an investment portfolio, correct?

Is there anyone who can encourage him to see it as the valuable historic asset that it is? Maybe he can make an old house call? Do the right thing?

To follow are the deed and some other things found on public records. Perhaps some reporter somewhere will be inspired to write a real story about the history of this house and the current ownership?

If not, tick tock East Whiteland. It’s time for this guy to respect Chester County’s historic architecture, right? And yes I can have that opinion.

10325928 deed 2Download
10325930 another part to deedDownload
deed p480Download
2007Download
2018- 19 mortgageDownload
Clews and Strawbridge tenant estoppel thingDownload

a very special friendraiser for bryn mawr rehab center

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Lee Lee Jones and guest

Sometimes by luck and happenstance you get invited to something really, really special – it’s the season of giving, and I never ask people to give to anything, but it would be really cool if you considered this:

https://giving.mainlinehealth.org/blog/blog-posts/2025/05/07/lee-lee-jones-endowment-fund

I ended up here literally just by luck. The hostess of this private holiday friendraiser invited me to come, and I offered to donate photos to the cause.

This is something which literally touched my heart.

The backstory: Back in 2016, Lee Lee Jones was your average student home for Christmas. She was a graduate student at The University of Pennsylvania where she was working towards a graduate degree in social work. A lifelong rider, she was enjoying a December ride when the horse she was riding spooked and threw her. Although wearing a riding helmet she was still knocked unconscious.

As the story continues, allow me to share part of the story from her namesake fund page on the Main Line Health website:

She was airlifted to the Level 1 Trauma Center at Christiana Medical Center, where she was rushed into emergency surgery. Due to significant brain swelling, doctors removed part of her skull. Lee Lee barely survived the night and remained in a coma for 7½ weeks. She was diagnosed with Diffuse Axonal Injury, a severe traumatic brain injury.

During her time in the ICU at Christiana, Lee Lee faced numerous complications, including pneumonia, MRSA, severe respiratory distress syndrome, and neuro storming. Once stabilized, she was transferred to Bryn Mawr Rehab Hospital in an emergent state—non-verbal, almost completely paralyzed, and only able to open her eyes slightly.

Over her nine-month inpatient stay at Bryn Mawr Rehab Hospital and continued outpatient therapy over the past eight years, Lee Lee has made remarkable progress. She relearned how to swallow, walk, and perform daily activities. Thanks to the dedicated and experienced team at BMRH, Lee Lee has regained significant independence.

Not all families can endure the financial responsibility which comes with these treatments and stays, hence the fund. There is such a need for these endowments because in my humble opinion the medical community has not lost their compassion but health insurance companies kind of have. For all of the money insurance companies make in this country, they really need to realize that they can have more generosity at times. Maybe some health insurance executives will see my post and donate to this endowment fund, for example?

When I was growing up I devoured the books about Jill Kinmont and she was incredibly inspirational to many of us, but because she died in 2012, a lot of people have forgotten about her. Jill Kinmont Booth was a was an American alpine ski racer and schoolteacher. Her life story was turned into two major Hollywood movies The Other Side of the Mountain and its sequel The Other Side of the Mountain Part 2.

Obviously, Jill Kinmont was well into adulthood when we learned about her as kids through the movies in the 1970s. Through the movies we learned that Jill in 1955 was the reigning national champion in the slalom, and a top hopeful for a medal at the 1956 Winter Olympics, a year away. As an 18 year she suffered a near-fatal skiing accident that resulted in paralysis from the shoulders down. She fought her way back with rehab, very primitive compared to what patients have today. She eventually graduated from college, married had a long career as an educator, first in Washington State and then in California. She was also an artist. She lived as a quadriplegic for more than 50 years. That doesn’t make her story Lee Lee’s story, but it reminded me of young women who overcome great obstacles after accidents to continue their lives.

Lee Lee Jones is a remarkable young woman and I also find her incredibly special and inspirational. Just as I find her friends, family, and support system. I was honored to meet her, her family, one of her nurses, friends, and her former boyfriend, now an adult with his own family. His name is Kareem Rosser and he is another major part of this story, and a driving force behind this endowment becoming a success at Bryn Mawr Rehab. He is doing this out of love. Love still for Lee Lee and her family with whom he remains incredibly close. He also does this out of an amazing ability and desire to pay things forward.

Kareem began his life in one of Philadelphia’s toughest and baddest neighborhoods. It was in West Philadelphia and known as “the bottom.” I actually know where this is because once upon a time when I was barely 21, I got not one but two flat tires there on my way home with a friend late one night. We had been dancing at the. Pagano’s and been to the then Chestnut Cabaret. It was the era before cell phones and a Philadelphia cop just happened to drive by and would not leave us until a tow truck arrived. I remember we said to him in our young invincibleness that we would be fine on our own and the cop said to us no we might not, this was “the bottom.”

When Kareem was 8, he discovered a stable full of horses in Fairmount Park. Chamounix Stables. Through Work to Ride he learned to ride and play polo. Eventually he earned a scholarship to Valley Forge Military Academy. In 2011 he led his Work to Ride team to a National Interscholastic Polo Championship. Next in In 2015, he led Colorado State University to a collegiate National Championship.

Kareem is on the board of Work to Ride and is an Executive Vice President today of Work to Ride , and has led development efforts there since 2018. This non profit completed an amazing state of the art barn renovation project not so long ago. He is also the co-founder of the Philadelphia Polo Classic.

Kareem was Lee Lee’s boyfriend at the time of her accident. They were in love and then life had a plot twist.

Kareem is still close and devoted to Lee Lee and her family. This shows how the power of love is so integral to life itself, and how it grows and changes yet remains a constant.

Kareem is also a best selling author. He was also one of the nicest people I have met in a while.

Compassionate and honest and eloquent. Listening to him speak was just wonderful. Hearing about Lee Lee through his eyes and how her accident affected him and her friends and family.

One of the things I liked about listening to Kareem speak with his openness. He wove the tail of his life and how it intersected with Lee Lee’s. And the small world of it all, one of his closest friends is the son of an old neighbor.

Learn more about Kareem here:

https://kareemrosser.com/

Now is the season of giving I am going to share a video of the speakers I recorded during this event so you can learn more about this fund and you can also go to Bryn Mawr Rehab’s site :

https://giving.mainlinehealth.org/blog/blog-posts/2025/05/07/lee-lee-jones-endowment-fund

If you have it in your hearts, this holiday season before your end, please consider even a small donation. I think if you’ve ever known anyone who’s had a traumatic brain injury, you will be interested in supporting this fund.

Thanks for stopping by. Please note that I have not been compensated to write this and I made a small donation to The Lee Lee Jones Patient Assistance Endowment Fund.

another wonderful surrey holiday house tour!!!

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And that’s a wrap until next year! Another amazing holiday house tour from Surrey Services for Seniors

I am an in kind and regular sponsor which I am just mentioning so you know WHY I do the photos and that they are done as a volunteer. (Otherwise you’re not allowed to take pictures inside people‘s homes obviously.)

This year, the houses were so beautifully and perfectly festive!!! I have to say the homeowners knocked themselves out for all of us and it was much appreciated!

I loved all the homes and will be going through photos over the next couple of days, but I will be sharing a little video with you guys below so you can get a flavor for the tour and the shops afterwards, which were also so much fun!

I do have to say my favorite house was on Poplar Avenue in North Wayne. I love that section of Wayne. It is so historic and just being in the neighborhoods there makes you happy because mostly everyone decorates.

If you would like to give a Christmas donation to Surrey, which does so much for people follow this link:

https://surreyservices.org/

Here is the little compilation video:

stormwater funkadelic in paoli much?

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So I think this is Tredyffrin Township and this is Stormwater funkadelic. The pipe drains to the public sidewalk. As ONTO the sidewalk along Lancaster Avenue – talk about a winter hazard for pedestrians especially, right?

This is the strip shopping center at 41 E Lancaster Avenue in Paoli where Our Deli etc is.

And no, I was not driving when I took this picture. I was a passenger in a car.

So whichever municipality this is they need to deal with this. It’s a fall hazard for pedestrians and this is going right out onto the road which causes another potential hazard trying to keep the road clear during winter icing events.

We all know the roads aren’t going to be perfect in the winter but something like this dripping over time in freezing weather could just be big enough to cause an accident. I mean, let’s face it. It’s problematic enough getting out of this weird little strip mall.

Thanks for playing funkadelic with me.

so many municipalities with pooper…err…sewer problems?

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Developer Eli Kahn at 12/1/25 Tredyffrin Supervisors Meeting

So this is an interesting one at the end of the supervisors’ meeting last evening, Tredyffrin Township’s bumbling and inefficient zoning officer (I am entitled to my opinion and I’m being understated because I don’t understand why she has a job, but I digress) pops up rather nervously to announce to the supervisors that are developer was there with essentially a problem.

What was the problem? Something to do with the sewer and how his workforce housing project was essentially being potentially charged too much if it goes forward the way it is for sewer capacity they’re not going to use, right?

Here is the recording of that portion of the meeting:

I don’t understand how it was just sort of popped on the agenda like this do you? I’m not saying he shouldn’t be heard because he should be heard, and this is a developer whose projects I am not generally speaking fond of, but when you listen to this meeting snippet, do you really think he’s wrong? I actually don’t. (Shocker, right?)

This project was introduced at the end of 2024 and the beginning of 2025:

Click to access 01162025-planning-commission-meeting-minutes.pdf

Click to access 12162024-bos-public-meeting-minutes.pdf

So this is a trend we’ve seen being proposed in other municipalities and not just by this developer. It’s all about redeveloping these old commercial properties and these office buildings that have become obsolete whales and making them into living units, and in some cases, schools?

So I have to ask are we potentially replacing one problem with another problem? To be clear l, I’m not saying I’m against workforce housing if it actually happens. But I also look at these plans for this housing and so many of the units are these little itty-bitty things so what about workforce housing for families?

But I’m not going off on that tangent today that’s just something I think about. We definitely need affordable housing for all stages of life, but do we really need more apartments? I keep asking that question.

So the reason Eli Kahn went to Tredyffrin has to do with sewer. And sewer capacity and what he is paying for. It’s an interesting conversation. Listen to the video. So he’s telling the supervisors that they have problems in their sewer fee structures I guess? Basically he’s saying it’s not a one-size-fits-all?

I find it interesting, just like I find it. Interesting how it all kind of got plopped at the end of this meeting.

What is it with sewer fees and sewer capacity and municipalities out here so you have the thing that West Goshen Sunshine uncovered that’s on her Facebook page about fees paying health insurance bills of supervisors?

And then, of course, we have West Whiteland Township, trying to do the right thing for residents being sued by the Exton Mall developer and why? If there isn’t really sewer capacity, how should they be able to build as much? I don’t understand. it’s not like that’s the only problem on that site is there? Not enough parking correct? Too many houses for the area because of the density already existing correct?

https://vista.today/2025/11/exton-square-mall-redevelopment-plans/

https://www.phillyvoice.com/exton-square-mall-redevelopment-lawsuit-west-whiteland-board/

Anyway, I found it interesting because here there are these three municipalities with issues involving sewer so what does that say?

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got. It’s a lot of poopy problems, yes?

too early is too early, not “banker’s hours”

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Around 6:30 AM this morning, Casella Waste Systems showed up to pick up residential garbage in a residential neighborhood. They are the successor to Whitetail and pretty much are just as bad as per the reviews.

6:30 AM is too early in a residential area. Noise ordinances exist for a reason.

Of course because I posted this on Facebook the great unwashed had to roll up and say I was being mean to trashmen. Duh, the guys driving the trucks don’t set the schedule. That’s why I didn’t call the police which municipalities say to do. (I also don’t believe that it is the role of police departments to babysit trash trucks who get their orders from the corporate offices.)

So the comments I am sharing are representative of the dumb dumb chorus and posted publicly.

One of my favorite comments is from a woman who posted a public photo on her Facebook page that I found very amusing for the tacky factor.

I am not being mean to the working man. Also my trash hauler NEVER does this holidays or not. And FYI my neighbors who use this company don’t particularly care to be woken up too early.

And again, the drivers don’t set the schedule, the offices do. So that is where I take my complaint. TO THE OFFICE.

Enjoy the obnoxious comments received before removing them and their authors.

The great unwashed and ignorant on social media are after all, national treasures!

thanksgiving thoughts

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Thanksgiving. It’s one of those holidays where we always want it to be like a Hallmark Movie only if we’re real, sometimes it’s not.

When I think of awkward Thanksgiving meals, I think of the time I went to my friend’s family celebration at Merion Cricket Club. Now I will admit going out for Thanksgiving to a restaurant or a club is weird for me. I like cooking Thanksgiving dinner. But this one year I was a singleton so I went to this particular celebration.

Now this was old Merion before all the updating on the decorating. It looked really pretty. The dining room was still the old dining room. We were in the room next to the dining room on the other side of the hall. I got seated next to an overly friendly older relative. As in mid to late 70s. Let’s just call it and “oh grandpa please moment.”

We’ve all had awkward moments, but trust me, nothing worse than being seated at a holiday meal next to a uncomfortably friendly relative of the one who invited you and you have to sit there politely with a smile plastered on your face wishing that this old dude would just stop. It was so awful I was embarrassed for him.

Then there are the miscellaneous memories of Thanksgiving growing up. One time at the old Greenhouse restaurant in Radnor. They cooked your group your own turkey and you took the leftovers home. They served your party family style. That was the year we had more house guests than room to fit them in the dining room.

When I was really little I remember Thanksgiving at my aunt and uncle’s house up in Northeast Philadelphia. Both of my mother’s parents were alive back then. It was crowded but alive and fun, which was definitely not the feeling one got at my late father’s sister’s house. Those were the obligatory not so much fun and lots of frosty pretense Thanksgivings where the toilet seat in the powder room was as chilly as the lack of heat in the house and the personality of my father’s family who hosted.

There were plenty of super joyful Thanksgivings growing up. I have memories of ones in Philadelphia and hysterical laughing over how long was that god damned turkey going to take? Being with family friends in Summit, NJ and Bethesda, MD and more. A kaleidoscope of happy memories and voices of those now gone I can still see in my head, especially memories of Mrs. C in her kitchen. And the eventuality of my sister and I hosting Thanksgiving feasts.

Then there were the purgatory years for me. Many moons ago, I was in a different and looking back, a honestly difficult and terrible relationship. I would have to make the trek with someone who shall not be named because they don’t deserve it up to parts much further west.

The holidays including Thanksgivings I liked because that sister-in-law of this person and her mom set a beautiful table and made such an effort over every guest.

The holidays, including Thanksgiving at his sister’s were another story.

First of all, let’s talk about the ugly brown crockery plates that always showed up as “good china.” Maybe I am being a snob, but somehow I really don’t want to eat dinner on plates that seem to be the color of dirt do you? and then there was the fact that the turkey was served in the cheap tinfoil container it went into the oven with. And these were the holidays where everybody stood around with the superiority of misfits and malcontents, and basically criticized anyone who wasn’t there, sort of defeating the point of the holiday, right?

The other thing about those purgatory years were the car rides. Essentially a lot of each ride coming and going I was yelled at in a closed space. It was abusive. And I wasn’t answering back. I just sat there, hoping it would stop….for almost a decade. Abuse towards women takes all forms and they all matter, don’t they? To this day, I have I think a form of PTSD from this and a definite aversion to loud, bullying mansplaining.

And during those years I worked really hard to just participate, contributing food, etc. it was always wasted on those people, but I did get a chance to work on my recipes so it wasn’t all bad and the dogs were nice, as well as the kids at the time. From those years, I had the takeaway of what I did not want the rest of my life to look like.

Like I keep saying, I actually like cooking Thanksgiving. Sometimes I think it’s just to have turkey sandwiches the day after.

I know people don’t like preparing for Thanksgiving because of the work. And yes, it is work, but happy faces around the table enjoying the meal are worth it. but that doesn’t mean we’re all getting our Hallmark families for the holidays. So we make the best of it some years. As humans we are flawed, even the mean-spirited, whom it’s hard to give grace to. But hey, they wake up the next day as miserable as they were on Thanksgiving and that’s its own kind of penance.

Thanksgiving is historically a day where it is not about one upsmanship and pretense. It’s about being thankful and grateful.

It began as a day of giving thanks for the blessings of the harvest. It began as a day of giving, thanks between the original residents of this country, the Native Americans, and the immigrants, reaching these shores for a better way of life and certain freedoms.

Now it is still supposed to be that, only we seem to be evolving into a country that doesn’t represent what the Pilgrims and founding fathers intended. We seem to have become what they left Europe over and fought a revolution for?

How do we get back to the goodness in this country? I am not saying goodness doesn’t exist, it just seems to be in hiding, doesn’t it?

I wish all of you a Happy Thanksgiving. Don’t expect it to be perfect, just enjoy the people you are with and the once a year deliciousness (hopefully) of the dinner. Support local businesses on Black Friday and Small Business Saturday.

Try to be kind to one and other and pray for a day when we wake up to the current being an American nightmare.

My dinner won’t cook itself sadly, so Happy Thanksgiving and signing off.

xo,

Carla

(for those who still do not think I am a real person and I play records backwards for hidden messages.)

kugels

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Image found online from a long ago auction somewhere.
This is a red German kugel. I think it’s marvelous!

Everyone who knows me, knows I love Christmas. Some of my favorite antique ornaments are kugels. That started when I was given a modestly sized golden kugel that had been the prized ornament of my maternal great grandfather’s mother. They were Germans who settled in Pennsylvania. This ornament came with my great grandfather’s mother’s family from Germany.

A true antique kugel is a heavy glass Christmas ornament, made in Germany from the mid-1800s to the early 1900s. They are typically round or oval, made of thick glass with a brass cap. The glass is often colored deeply in shades like deep red, cobalt blue, or silver. At first they were made only in Germany, primarily made in Lauscha, Germany, a small mountain village known for its glassblowing in the German Thuringia Forest .

Then, in at the end of the 19th century (as in the last decade approximately), the center of kugel manufacturing actually shifted to Nancy, France. The decorations that came out of this region were a bit lighter in weight than their German predecessors and boasted new shades, such as tangerine, and many shades of blue. (Hence the French blue kugel of it all.)

From a random website based I am not sure where (Switzerland?) I learned more:

What is known as kugels are the ancestors of the later Christmas glass ornaments. Kugel is the German word for sphere or ball. In Germany kugels are usually called Biedermeierkugeln what refers to their time of origin, namely the Biedermeier period (about 1830). At that time German glassmakers started a tradition which lasted almost until to the beginning of World War I.

One way to identify kugels is by their enormous thickness of glass. This may go from one up to five millimeters, that is from 1/25″ to 1/5″. Before the invention of the Bunsen burner it was technically not possible to produce a thin-walled glass. Therefore kugels are rather heavyweight (a problem for Christmas trees with thin branches). Coloration is not done, as in later times, by painting the glass surface, but by coloring the melted batch in advance. Inside silvering of the kugels produced a brilliant gloss; this was done with lead in the early days, afterwards with a solution of silver nitrate. Unlike later glass ornaments kugels do not have the short pike left from the blowing process. It was cut off. What remained was a small hole. This was covered with a brass cap which was fastened to the ornament by a skillfully twisted wire.

One is inclined to believe that all kugels have got the shape of a ball as their name suggests. But there are, though more seldom, other shapes, too: grapes, eggs, pears, drop, turnips, and bells. In addition the surface has not to be even: items with a ribbed surface are the most sought-after. The color palette is confined to a tight dozen variations: silver, green in different shadows, golden (frequent), light blue, blue, cobalt blue (more rare), rose, rubin, copper (rare), orange, violet (very rare). Tiny kugels have a diameter of about one inch, while the upper limit is more or less open ended: There exist items with a perimeter of more than three feet (best suited for the decoration of the large garden fir tree).

Another image from some long ago auction somewhere in this country –
I think this was from a New York auction.

Originally kugels came to the US either via Germans visiting family or immigrating here. They were from the old English tradition of “witches balls”, can’t remember if I mentioned that before? Then F.W. Woolworth, yes the five and dime store of our childhoods, started importing them in the 1880s.

https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/roadshow/articles/ornaments-of-christmas-past

Here is a great piece from Bunch Auctions about kugels:

https://www.bunchauctions.com/single-post/the-german-kugel-a-christmas-tradition:

ree

Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, whose birthplace was located within 50 miles of Thuringia, helped to spread the popularity of tree decorating when he and his wife, Queen Victoria, were depicted trimming the royal family Christmas tree (most likely with German-made ornaments) in an engraving published by the Illustrated London News.

From Martha Stewart a few years ago:

https://www.marthastewart.com/1532933/history-antique-kugel-christmas-ornaments

From the Golden Glow of Christmas Past:

Kugels

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/prince-edward-island/pei-vintage-christmas-ornaments-collecting-1.4428546

https://antiquesqa.blogspot.com/2016/12/some-kugels-are-for-hanging.html

Antique Kugel Ornaments

Also this which leads me to another point to this post:

https://www.realorrepro.com/article/Christmas-Kugels

That is interesting to read from real or repro because if you like kugels, there are a lot of fakes out there…shipping from India.

Here are fakes I found today:

Here are some real ones:

Kugels are just beautiful! And the old and good ones are hard to find because essentially people keep them in their families.

Anyway….Christmas is coming! Keep collecting the vintage ornaments they are simply more special!

life in the land of women: bonds

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Life in the land of women is one of my recurring writing themes. It’s not something that some of the chest puffing neanderthals and their flying monkeys who would love to tear me down for having an opinion or twenty would ever understand.

I think partially that is because they don’t have honest relationships with anyone. Generosity of spirit is not something that can be taught. It is inherent; you have it or you don’t.

Real friendships aren’t bought or bartered for. It’s not based on using people.

I have always said I don’t use the term blessed very often, but I am blessed in my friendships. I have my circle of female friends, but I don’t trust a lot of women. I can be somewhat jaded at times, and even somewhat cynical other times, even though they are not the same thing.

I think what I have seen in life might in some cases makes me believe in a better humanity, but on the other hand, it makes me less trusting. I hate to say that sometimes I am that person that wonders why do they want to get to know me? And I know on one hand that’s kind of horrible, but on the other hand, it’s self preservation.

When I first moved to Chester County to be with my now husband, there were a couple of women I met that I thought would be great friends until they weren’t. One I just didn’t have that much in common at the end of the day, although she is super nice. It’s still nice to occasionally bump into her.

Now the other one? She got to know me in order to get information about me to use to curry favor with others. That other woman was like the dog that who carried the proverbial bone 24/7. But she was one of those people that was also too friendly too fast, so I never truly let her in. This woman is and always will be a user. I wasn’t the first person she’s ever used and I certainly won’t be the last.

The second woman with whom I had the unpleasant experience is seemingly somewhat clueless about her behavior. I remember a year after I realized she wasn’t someone truly to be friends with, she called me out of the blue to see if I was driving a certain kind of car down the road because she passed me on the road. I mean, who does that? do you judge your friendships by the kind of car they drive? I mean don’t speak with her for ages and that is the superficial reason for contact?

And then there were those who were done with me when I moved from the Main Line. I left the mothership of pretense that the area had evolved into, which while it freed me to become a better, more comfortable version of myself, simultaneously made me less useful or even uncomfortable to my others. I can’t control their feelings, yet I still marvel at them.

So this week, I had the opportunity to catch up with two very long term friends. One recently became a widow and one lost her dad.

We’ve known each other since we were kids. Our parents were friends. I am now the only one with a surviving parent and that is such an odd feeling. However, every time I connect with either of these women, I realize how lucky I am. A lot of people don’t have these friendships.

And then today, I finally had time to catch up with another old friend who lives close by. We’ve literally known each other since like I was in eighth grade and she was in seventh grade. Or maybe it was she was in eighth grade and I was in ninth grade. I forget.

The thing about all three of these women I am thinking about is that we know each other so well that it is not only comfortable and trusting we can be completely ourselves. And that’s the thing today that is so different. You can’t just be completely yourself with anyone.

And I’m also really lucky with the friends that I have made since coming to Chester County who count as new friends. I do have to make that distinction because there are a lot of us who have been friends seemingly forever are former Main Liners who migrated west because it was just better as the faces of the Main Line changed and became Nouveaux Main Line.

People often don’t understand why you’re friends with someone because they’re pre-judging you before you even walk in the door. And people always prejudge me because they read what I write and either don’t understand it or sometimes don’t like it, so then it is like why would you want to know her? I do have to laugh at those people because the question they should be asking is why would I want to know them? And a lot of the time I don’t want to know them, and I think that bothers them more than if I wanted to know which is just the perversity of human nature.

Yesterday I spent time with two more of my female friends. One used to ride the bus with me is how far back we go. The other? It must be gosh 20 years since I first met her. These are the people who matter in our lives. Not the people who are fly by nights or even a season.

The people who matter are the ones who see us at our best and we are comfortable enough for them to see us not at our best. The people who matter are the ones whom accept us for who we are.

Everyone else? Extraneous bullsheit.

Happy Sunday.

things that make you go hmmmm…in east pikeland township maybe?

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I am always curious when things seem odd, aren’t you?

I will admit I have always been a little curious about East Pikeland because it always seems a little off, doesn’t it? Is it as simple as too many crystals and soy based candles or something?

And then there’s the Kimberton Fire Company, which is like part of the heartbeat of that community, isn’t it? so the first question is why is somebody suing the fire company?

For real:

So then I have to ask is why is the Kimberton fire chief trying to I don’t exactly know do what to a 41-year-old widow with three kids? I mean, I have to ask do we really think a 41 year-old widow with three kids is a threat to the Kimberton fire chief?

And why am I allowed to ask that question? Is it simply because there is a public criminal complaint and a publicly posted court docket?

And is this how residents who speak out in this municipality are treated? Is it just me or is this kind of twisted?

So yeah, that’s all I’ve got. And my questions and my opinions are brought to me by the First Amendment. And why I’m asking is posted below in screenshots.

She is being represented by Samuel C. Stretton, Esq. of West Chester.

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